About a year and five months ago I was at a Wednesday night prayer service. D'Nae, our then 16 year old daughter, was heavy on my heart. She was really struggling, and I didn't seem to know how to help her. We adopted D'Nae when she was almost 10, and throughout the last six years, we had had our ups and downs. But, now she seemed so distant and hard. She was making bad choices, but it wasn't just that. Things weren't good...
So, that night towards the end of the prayer service, I went up front to kneel at the alter and pray for our daughter, to ask God to help her and us. I began by asking God for His wisdom, for His grace, for His help. Towards the end of my prayer, I asked something I wasn't expecting to ask. My request was, "Lord, send someone to help D'Nae." I was surprised after I said it, but then I thought, "Yeah, that's a good prayer." So, I prayed it again, and asked God to help D'Nae through whoever He wanted to use, to send help for her, even if it wasn't directly from Jeremy or me.
Little did I know what would occur about a month later. I won't go through all the heart-wrenching details, but one night things escalated, and D'Nae said she was leaving and never coming back. We begged her to stay at least one more night, thinking things would look better in the morning. She refused, but Jeremy finally convinced her to stay one more night with us, with the promise that he would take her to a teen crisis shelter in the morning. It was hard to sleep that night, but we were exhausted, and I thought that maybe tomorrow they would hook us up with a good counselor that could help us all.
Well, that didn't happen. Jeremy took D'Nae out there that morning, and she adamantly told the social workers there she wanted to be back in foster care. Jeremy pleaded with her for hours, but finally called me saying, "I think we have to let her go." My heart said, "Absolutely not!" but my head knew we couldn't force a 16 year old girl to stay with us if she really wanted to leave. And, at least she would be safe.
They had an opening (an amazing gift from God) at a Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, MO. My heart broke again at the thought of her being in a children's home, but they said she would receive Christian counseling and help. She would be safe. They would watch her 24 hours per day. I was thankful it was a Christian place, since she could have been placed anywhere in the state of Missouri.
The next few days are somewhat of a blur for me, but it was either the first or second night, when I was unable to sleep, that the Lord spoke to my heart. Softly, gently, these words bubbled up inside me, "I'm answering your prayer." Isn't it something when the Lord speaks something to your heart like that how you know exactly what He is referring to? "My prayer?!? My prayer?" I knew just what prayer He was referring to (the one I prayed at that Wednesday night church service) and I was actually a bit outraged at the very thought that He was answering my prayer like this. "You are answering my prayer LIKE THIS? You are sending someone to help D'Nae by having her LEAVE US AND LIVE IN A CHILDREN'S HOME?" But, as I got quiet, the peace of God surrounded and filled me, and I knew He was. I knew He was answering our prayer through this, no matter how hard and awful it seemed to me. I held onto what He told me that night. God was answering my prayer. God WAS helping D'Nae.
When our first therapy session didn't go well (which, by the way, is an understatement), I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When we didn't have any contact with D'Nae for 2 1/2 months, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked like we may never have a relationship with our daughter ever again, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked impossible, when it seemed like it could never work, when it appeared all hope was gone, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae.
And, guess what? He was! He did!
I can never express how thankful I am to Him and to our family and friends who supported us through all of this, prayed for us, counseled and listened, loved, hugged, and cared. And, to our social worker, to the staff at the Missouri Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, to D'Nae's (and our) counselor there. I can never thank them enough. They helped her so much. They helped us so much. Everyone did. The support and love has been overwhelming!
And, now what seemed impossible is happening. After a year and four months, my precious daughter is moving back home, and most importantly, she wants to move back home. I'm so proud of her for working through some really difficult things! She's a strong and amazing young woman, and I know God has wonderful things in store for her, not just in the future, but today!
If you ever wonder if God is in the restoration business, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE IS! If you ever wonder if God can cause impossible things to become possible, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE CAN and HE WILL! If you ever wonder if you can turn to God with your most difficult and overwhelming problem...if you ever wonder if He is able to actually help you with it...well, I'm here to tell you that HE IS and HE WILL.
Thankful does not even begin to describe what is in my heart today, but it is the only word I know to say. Thank you, Lord, for giving me my daughter back, and for helping her when we didn't know how to help her. Thank you for continuing to help us in the days, months, and years ahead. If there's one thing I know about you, Lord, it is that YOU ARE FAITHFUL!
To God be the Glory!
Nikki
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
God Can Turn Your Mess into a MASTERPIECE!
(This
is a true account of something that happened in my life in 2009 and i decided to share it on here.) :)
On
Saturday evening I decided to make some pull-apart cinnamon bread for breakfast
on Sunday morning. A neat new recipe, I thought. It used frozen
yeast rolls in a Bundt pan with cinnamon, brown sugar, butter, pecan, and
butterscotch pudding. Sounded yummy. Anyway, you make it the night
before and let it rise in a cold oven overnight, and then bake it in the
morning. I got it all ready late Saturday evening and stuck it in our
cold oven.
In
the morning when I woke up and peeked in the oven, the rolls had risen so much
they were everywhere and there was a big mess all over the oven! I wish I
had taken a picture of the oven, but I did take one of the pan once I got it
out of the oven and set it on the counter. What a
disaster! And, of course my five kids were all very disappointed when
they saw it and I explained that the recipe was a flop; we weren’t going
to have pull-apart cinnamon bread after all.
A
little while later I was getting ready to throw the dough away, and I just
scooped the big mess into a pile in the pan, getting ready to carry it over to
the sink to put down the garbage disposal. As I was carrying it over, I
looked at it and thought it looked pretty good. So, I pushed the dough
back into the pan and thought I may as well try baking it. It looked like
it may turn out OK after all.
We
were all surprised when I took it out of the oven and dumped it out of the
pan. It looked perfect, like it could be on the cover of
a cooking magazine or something! As I was standing in amazement at this
“disaster” that I had almost thrown in the trash, I thought about God, and how
He works in our lives. The dough had looked worthless, and yet it wasn’t.
It had looked like a huge mistake, and yet it wasn’t. It looked like it
wouldn’t be any good at all, and yet it was beautiful and delicious. And, I
was reminded once again of how God can take the messes that we’ve made in our
life, and turn them into a MASTERPIECE!
Love and Blessings to you all,
Nikki :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Cinderella
When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my Grandpa Moore took me on a date. I was visiting my Aunt Carol who lived in Dallas at the time, and my grandpa was there on a business. They got it all arranged for him to pick me up and take me out on a date. I remember my aunt telling me my grandpa said we could do anything I wanted to do. I knew right away that I wanted to go eat at a Mexican restaurant and see a movie. We looked through the movie listings together and I decided on Cinderella.
When my grandpa got there to pick me up he asked me what I wanted to do. "Go eat Mexican food and see Cinderella," I instantly told him. He smiled and said, "I like a girl who knows what she wants!" And, so our date began.
I don't remember much about our dinner, except that when we paid for our meal he bought me extra candy. The restaurant we ate at gave you a little piece of candy at the end of your meal, but he bought me a big bag of it. That is exactly the way my grandpa was...over the top with everything he did! :)
Next we went to see Cinderella. I loved it! I sat enthralled as the prince whisked Cinderella away from her horrible life with her step-mother and step-sisters and married her! Now she was a princess! As we were driving back to my aunt's house, my grandpa and I talked about the movie. He asked me what I thought of it. As I was sharing my thoughts, I said, "I wonder what Cinderella did to her mean step-mother and step-sisters after she became a princess." Visions of all the mean things she could do to them danced in my head. "She could definitely get revenge on them now," I thought. My grandpa simply replied, "I bet she forgave them."
Those words amazed me! I turned them over and over again in my head. Forgive them?!? After what they did to her? I will never forget those words. My grandpa changed my way of thinking that day so many years ago. He's in Heaven now, and today would have been his birthday. So, in his memory and honor, I wanted to share this precious story! I love you, Grandpa Moore! I'll see you in Heaven when I get there! :) Until them, just know I remember your words, and I still take them to heart today. Forgiveness is always the best answer.
When my grandpa got there to pick me up he asked me what I wanted to do. "Go eat Mexican food and see Cinderella," I instantly told him. He smiled and said, "I like a girl who knows what she wants!" And, so our date began.
I don't remember much about our dinner, except that when we paid for our meal he bought me extra candy. The restaurant we ate at gave you a little piece of candy at the end of your meal, but he bought me a big bag of it. That is exactly the way my grandpa was...over the top with everything he did! :)
Next we went to see Cinderella. I loved it! I sat enthralled as the prince whisked Cinderella away from her horrible life with her step-mother and step-sisters and married her! Now she was a princess! As we were driving back to my aunt's house, my grandpa and I talked about the movie. He asked me what I thought of it. As I was sharing my thoughts, I said, "I wonder what Cinderella did to her mean step-mother and step-sisters after she became a princess." Visions of all the mean things she could do to them danced in my head. "She could definitely get revenge on them now," I thought. My grandpa simply replied, "I bet she forgave them."
Those words amazed me! I turned them over and over again in my head. Forgive them?!? After what they did to her? I will never forget those words. My grandpa changed my way of thinking that day so many years ago. He's in Heaven now, and today would have been his birthday. So, in his memory and honor, I wanted to share this precious story! I love you, Grandpa Moore! I'll see you in Heaven when I get there! :) Until them, just know I remember your words, and I still take them to heart today. Forgiveness is always the best answer.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Top Five Reasons I Like Working Puzzles
Well, you may have noticed I did my first 1000 piece puzzle over my Christmas break. Not that I had never done a 1000 piece puzzle before, but I had never done a puzzle before. My mom likes to do puzzles, so growing up she would get one going in our kitchen and I would work on it a little bit here and there. Now that I have finished not only one but two 1000 piece puzzles I know that my mom was the one who put together most of the puzzles "we" did. :) And, it's not that easy, actually. At one point I was thinking, "I really need an adult to come help me with this!" Ha, guess even when I'm almost 42 I'm still looking for an adult, and then it hits me that I am the adult! This possibly says something about me, but that is not what this post is about. This post is entitled "The Top Five Reasons I Like Working Puzzles." Here we go, in order from #5 to #1!
5. It takes perserverance to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. It is challenging, and you have to really stick with it!
4. It takes a lot of patience to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. This is no microwave dinner puzzle! No, this is a made-from-scratch, spend-all-day-cooking dinner! And those kind of dinners are always better than microwave ones!
3. It takes problem solving to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. That first puzzle I put together was really challenging. The pictures on the pieces were no help at all! Absolutely none! (OK, maybe they did help a little bit...) Eventually I realized I was going to have to try a new strategy if I wanted to get that puzzle put together. So, I ended up sorting out the pieces according their shape, and that actually helped and worked. Even when I had less than 100 pieces left I still had to use the puzzle piece's shape to figure out where it went. The puzzle was that hard!
2. If I was able to talk someone in to helping me, it gave us a lot of time to talk. Putting together a puzzle with someone is so much better than watching TV with them, because you can just sit and talk. And laugh! And be silly together! I love that about putting together puzzles. It's a slow, simple activity and gives you time to talk with each other.
1. And the number one thing I like about working puzzles is finishing the puzzle! Wow! It's an amazing feeling! (And, of course, then I can start another one!)
I think churches are kind of like 1000 piece puzzles. Each person is a piece of that puzzle, and without that person there the puzzle can never be complete. It is so cool to start out with 1000 pieces that look random. They don't really look like they go together at all. And then slowly, meticulously, one piece hooks to another, which hooks to another, which hooks to another. Sometimes when you work a puzzle you get a whole big chunk of pieces together, but they don't hook into the whole puzzle. Then, amazingly, you see where that chunk connects! It really does fit in with the rest of the puzzle, even when it looked like it never would. You may feel like you don't have any where that you hook into at church, but guess what, you do! You are a valuable piece, and without you, the puzzle can never be complete!
Sometimes I was looking and looking for a particular piece. I actually would think it was not there; it was lost. But, wouldn't you know it? A little bit later I would find it. Maybe that same day or maybe the next. Or, maybe not until the very end! Sometimes I would think a piece would be easy to spot, and it wasn't. I would try piece after piece to no avail, until finally I would find the one that connected to the four surrounding pieces. It took time and perseverance, but it was worth it to see that finished products. You may feel that way. You may feel like you don't fit anywhere at church, but I promise you, you do! Or, it may seem like you fit somewhere in your church, and then you find out you don't fit there after all. Don't give up; try another spot. At one church I went to I ended up working in the church bookstore, and I never thought I would want to do that! I made so many friends, and I loved it! But, if you would have asked me, I never would have chosen to volunteer there. They had a need so I decided to do it, and it was the perfect spot for me...my piece hooked in perfectly there! :)
Just like working a puzzle it may take perseverance to find your spot. It may take patience. It will require problem solving. But, you will build relationships, you will get to talk with people you may not have ever known. You will get to laugh, sometimes so hard you feel like you just can't breathe! And, you will get to cry with someone when they're hurting, or have someone there to cry with you when you're hurting. You won't be alone in life; you'll have someone to walk alongside you. At one church we attended the pastor would always say, "Do life together!" I like that! Go find out where you fit into that amazingly beautiful puzzle. You are important; your piece is important. You are part of a beautiful picture, His beautiful plan! This year I'm going to step out and be a part of it, even when it's scary and even when it's hard! Because I know it will be worth it in the end! :)
"For there is one body. But it has many parts. Even though it has many parts, they make up one body." I Corinthians 12:12
5. It takes perserverance to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. It is challenging, and you have to really stick with it!
4. It takes a lot of patience to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. This is no microwave dinner puzzle! No, this is a made-from-scratch, spend-all-day-cooking dinner! And those kind of dinners are always better than microwave ones!
3. It takes problem solving to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. That first puzzle I put together was really challenging. The pictures on the pieces were no help at all! Absolutely none! (OK, maybe they did help a little bit...) Eventually I realized I was going to have to try a new strategy if I wanted to get that puzzle put together. So, I ended up sorting out the pieces according their shape, and that actually helped and worked. Even when I had less than 100 pieces left I still had to use the puzzle piece's shape to figure out where it went. The puzzle was that hard!
2. If I was able to talk someone in to helping me, it gave us a lot of time to talk. Putting together a puzzle with someone is so much better than watching TV with them, because you can just sit and talk. And laugh! And be silly together! I love that about putting together puzzles. It's a slow, simple activity and gives you time to talk with each other.
1. And the number one thing I like about working puzzles is finishing the puzzle! Wow! It's an amazing feeling! (And, of course, then I can start another one!)
I think churches are kind of like 1000 piece puzzles. Each person is a piece of that puzzle, and without that person there the puzzle can never be complete. It is so cool to start out with 1000 pieces that look random. They don't really look like they go together at all. And then slowly, meticulously, one piece hooks to another, which hooks to another, which hooks to another. Sometimes when you work a puzzle you get a whole big chunk of pieces together, but they don't hook into the whole puzzle. Then, amazingly, you see where that chunk connects! It really does fit in with the rest of the puzzle, even when it looked like it never would. You may feel like you don't have any where that you hook into at church, but guess what, you do! You are a valuable piece, and without you, the puzzle can never be complete!
 |
| It just looks like a bunch of random pieces in a box, but in reality they all fit together! :) |
Sometimes I was looking and looking for a particular piece. I actually would think it was not there; it was lost. But, wouldn't you know it? A little bit later I would find it. Maybe that same day or maybe the next. Or, maybe not until the very end! Sometimes I would think a piece would be easy to spot, and it wasn't. I would try piece after piece to no avail, until finally I would find the one that connected to the four surrounding pieces. It took time and perseverance, but it was worth it to see that finished products. You may feel that way. You may feel like you don't fit anywhere at church, but I promise you, you do! Or, it may seem like you fit somewhere in your church, and then you find out you don't fit there after all. Don't give up; try another spot. At one church I went to I ended up working in the church bookstore, and I never thought I would want to do that! I made so many friends, and I loved it! But, if you would have asked me, I never would have chosen to volunteer there. They had a need so I decided to do it, and it was the perfect spot for me...my piece hooked in perfectly there! :)
Just like working a puzzle it may take perseverance to find your spot. It may take patience. It will require problem solving. But, you will build relationships, you will get to talk with people you may not have ever known. You will get to laugh, sometimes so hard you feel like you just can't breathe! And, you will get to cry with someone when they're hurting, or have someone there to cry with you when you're hurting. You won't be alone in life; you'll have someone to walk alongside you. At one church we attended the pastor would always say, "Do life together!" I like that! Go find out where you fit into that amazingly beautiful puzzle. You are important; your piece is important. You are part of a beautiful picture, His beautiful plan! This year I'm going to step out and be a part of it, even when it's scary and even when it's hard! Because I know it will be worth it in the end! :)
"For there is one body. But it has many parts. Even though it has many parts, they make up one body." I Corinthians 12:12
Monday, August 26, 2013
God WILL Get You Where You Need to Be!
Well, my sweet family and friends, I have a praise report
that I just must share today! :) As
you know I started college classes last week, and you may or may not know this,
but I am taking my first college math class since going back to school. I
have been warned by many about how challenging this course is, but last week I
LOVED it! It is a class where the professor breaks down math problems
procedurally and shows many different ways to arrive at the correct
answer. I sat in fascination on Thursday listening to him explain the many
different ways to derive answers to somewhat complex story problems. Some
in our class may have been bored or confused, but I was thoroughly engrossed! :) He also had me come up to the board
twice to explain how I had arrived at the answer I had (which was correct), and
it reminded me of how much I love explaining math to people!
Anyway, this really got me to thinking about my elementary
education area of emphasis. It seemed like a no-brainer to
do the dual credit option (12 hours towards my bachelor’s degree that also
counts towards my master’s degree), but the problem with that is there are only
3 options: administration (no way!), special education (also, not my
strong suit, though it would be beneficial), or reading literacy. Out of
those three I picked reading literacy and have been working that
direction. Interestingly enough, I was unable to get into any of my dual
credit reading classes this semester because of a “mistake” my advisor made
(and let me tell you, I was pretty aggravated about it at the time!), so as of
right now I have not taken even one class towards my area of
emphasis.
Well, I should rephrase that…I THOUGHT I had not
taken one class towards my area of emphasis. :)
Let me explain what I mean: I checked in with my adviser this morning about
the possibility of changing my area of emphasis from reading literacy to
mathematics. After this whole day of she and I corresponding back and
forth with each other, I have learned that I ALREADY have 2 of my
math requirements towards a math area of emphasis from my 2 math education
classes that I took way back at Emporia State University! What does this
mean, you ask? This means that I only have to take 6 hours instead of 12
(because I already have the other 6) and this will save me 2 classes!
And, I get to have my area of emphasis in an area that I am really passionate
about, and most importantly, the direction I feel the Lord is leading me!
This makes me think about how good God is. I was heading the wrong direction, going towards the wrong area of emphasis and the wrong masters program. All of last year, I was pretty set on this direction. All summer, I was pretty set on this direction. However, I must say, something about it never really seemed right. Sometimes I would think to myself, "I just wish they had a dual credit program in math." or "If only they offered this program in math." Hmm, was God trying to tell me something or what?
I was never really settled, even though I wanted to be because dual credit pretty much always sounds nice, doesn't it? Saving time and money pretty much always sounds like a great idea, right? Well, not if it is saving time and money on something that is NOT what you want to be doing (as my sweet and wise husband has pointed out to me many times, saying, "maybe you should do math, even though it is not dual credit" and things of this nature). Yes, sometimes we are the last one to figure out what we really want to do, even when it is clear to everyone else. And then, today, to find out that really this is going to save me six course hours...well, that is just over-the-top exciting! God truly is helping me, and YOU, MORE than we even realize or know! He truly is! Trust that He is leading you today, because, guess what? He is!!! :)
Hope your Monday is going as well as mine!
Love and Blessings,
Nikki :)
PS~This means that I will not be doing the dual credit
program, but I know that God has that all worked out as well. I am
feeling confident at this point that reading literacy is not the direction He
is leading me! :) Ha! Ha!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
2013-Deep Thoughts from Nikki
It is January 3, 2013! Wow! A new year! I just read the last post I wrote back in the middle of September! Um, yeah! Can you tell that I am a full-time wife, mom AND college student? I am enjoying every minute of it! Well, maybe not having to take that c-base test, but the rest of it! :) First semester done, next semester begins January 14th. God is good! God is faithful! I love Him so much!
My heart is full. My mind is full. I have so many thoughts, so many things I want to say. And, then I wonder if what I have to say is better left unsaid. Ha! Last year was quite a year for our family! So many good things, so many challenging things, so many THINGS! Some of them have left me with a sad heart, but you know what? God is the healer of a sad heart, and He loves me! He has me in the palm of His hand, and I know He will never let me go!
Here's one thing I learned in 2012. People, churches, situations, circumstances. They just might fail you. They just might let you down. But, God NEVER will! Not ever. This morning I was thinking about something that the Lord spoke to my heart years ago. I mean, this was so many years ago that we only had two kids then! :)
You all probably know how crazy I am about my husband and how awesome I think he is. I mean, he is awesome, so what can I say? But, one day years ago something happened. I can't remember what, which shows you just how important it was, but something happened and I was kind of upset at Jeremy. Like I said, I can't remember what happened or why I was upset. But, I was talking to the Lord about it (Side note here: No matter what is happening in your life, it is always a perfect idea to talk with the Lord about it. He already knows about it, and He always wants to HELP you. That's just the way He is. It is His very nature! Man, He truly is my hero and the One I want to be more like! OK, side note finished!) and this is what that small, still voice spoke to my spirit. Not out loud, but inside. "He's just a man."
Wow! Now, trust me when I say I am positive the Lord did not mean any disrespect towards Jeremy. I know the Lord thinks the world of my husband, but I definitely understood His point. Jeremy IS just a man. He is not perfect, and nor should I expect him to be! You know, that is the case with EVERYONE that you and I know. Our spouse, our kids, our mom, our dad, our best friend, our family, our church, our pastor...they're "just a man." They can mess up. They can make a bad choice. They can do or say the wrong thing, intentionally or unintentionally. And, that's OK, because they're "just a man."
Here's where the problem comes in, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. The problem comes in if you or I elevate ANYONE or ANYTHING higher in our life than they really should be. Yeah, there's only ONE God sitting on that throne, and it is definitely not anyone or anything besides HIM! I'm pretty sure the Bible calls that kind of thing an idol.
You may be thinking, "Everyone knows that!", and I would have said the same thing. But, the thing is, when you're actually in that kind of a situation, you don't realize it, because if you did, you would get out of it, right? Yeah, I think that very problem arose in my life over the last few years. Something got elevated higher than it should have. And, no one sits in that spot in my life except for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! My eyes are on Him. He is the One I am following. Him and only Him, my friends! Him and only Him!
So, these are my deep and personal thoughts as the new year begins. Why do I share them with you? Only one reason...because it may help someone. Take inventory. Did you read those last two words? In case you missed them, I'll say them again. Take inventory. If there is anyone or anything in your life that you think is perfect and cannot make a mistake, let me give you heads up. They're not and they can! There you go...that could save you years of counseling! (You're welcome!)
Well, my friends! I wish you all the best and most wonderful 2013! I believe it IS going to be a great year, full of love, joy, and peace. There will also probably be hardships, sadness, and loss. "Well, that's kind of a downer, Nikki!" I guess it could be, but it is probably the truth! You know what is so great? We serve a God who has promised us that we can overcome any and everything that tries to come against us! If God is for us, who can be against us? That really is the truth! No weapon formed against us will prosper! When God wants you to do something, and you step out to do it, nothing can keep it from happening! No devil in hell and no person on earth! And that's the truth! If you're on God's team, the good news is, your team WINS! Always! So, 2013, bring it on! Because of HIM...we got this!
My heart is full. My mind is full. I have so many thoughts, so many things I want to say. And, then I wonder if what I have to say is better left unsaid. Ha! Last year was quite a year for our family! So many good things, so many challenging things, so many THINGS! Some of them have left me with a sad heart, but you know what? God is the healer of a sad heart, and He loves me! He has me in the palm of His hand, and I know He will never let me go!
Here's one thing I learned in 2012. People, churches, situations, circumstances. They just might fail you. They just might let you down. But, God NEVER will! Not ever. This morning I was thinking about something that the Lord spoke to my heart years ago. I mean, this was so many years ago that we only had two kids then! :)
You all probably know how crazy I am about my husband and how awesome I think he is. I mean, he is awesome, so what can I say? But, one day years ago something happened. I can't remember what, which shows you just how important it was, but something happened and I was kind of upset at Jeremy. Like I said, I can't remember what happened or why I was upset. But, I was talking to the Lord about it (Side note here: No matter what is happening in your life, it is always a perfect idea to talk with the Lord about it. He already knows about it, and He always wants to HELP you. That's just the way He is. It is His very nature! Man, He truly is my hero and the One I want to be more like! OK, side note finished!) and this is what that small, still voice spoke to my spirit. Not out loud, but inside. "He's just a man."
Wow! Now, trust me when I say I am positive the Lord did not mean any disrespect towards Jeremy. I know the Lord thinks the world of my husband, but I definitely understood His point. Jeremy IS just a man. He is not perfect, and nor should I expect him to be! You know, that is the case with EVERYONE that you and I know. Our spouse, our kids, our mom, our dad, our best friend, our family, our church, our pastor...they're "just a man." They can mess up. They can make a bad choice. They can do or say the wrong thing, intentionally or unintentionally. And, that's OK, because they're "just a man."
Here's where the problem comes in, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. The problem comes in if you or I elevate ANYONE or ANYTHING higher in our life than they really should be. Yeah, there's only ONE God sitting on that throne, and it is definitely not anyone or anything besides HIM! I'm pretty sure the Bible calls that kind of thing an idol.
You may be thinking, "Everyone knows that!", and I would have said the same thing. But, the thing is, when you're actually in that kind of a situation, you don't realize it, because if you did, you would get out of it, right? Yeah, I think that very problem arose in my life over the last few years. Something got elevated higher than it should have. And, no one sits in that spot in my life except for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! My eyes are on Him. He is the One I am following. Him and only Him, my friends! Him and only Him!
So, these are my deep and personal thoughts as the new year begins. Why do I share them with you? Only one reason...because it may help someone. Take inventory. Did you read those last two words? In case you missed them, I'll say them again. Take inventory. If there is anyone or anything in your life that you think is perfect and cannot make a mistake, let me give you heads up. They're not and they can! There you go...that could save you years of counseling! (You're welcome!)
Well, my friends! I wish you all the best and most wonderful 2013! I believe it IS going to be a great year, full of love, joy, and peace. There will also probably be hardships, sadness, and loss. "Well, that's kind of a downer, Nikki!" I guess it could be, but it is probably the truth! You know what is so great? We serve a God who has promised us that we can overcome any and everything that tries to come against us! If God is for us, who can be against us? That really is the truth! No weapon formed against us will prosper! When God wants you to do something, and you step out to do it, nothing can keep it from happening! No devil in hell and no person on earth! And that's the truth! If you're on God's team, the good news is, your team WINS! Always! So, 2013, bring it on! Because of HIM...we got this!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Adoption!
When I was in the fourth grade my mom and I were driving somewhere in my small hometown of Parsons, KS, and we drove by a home where children lived that were in foster care. My mom mentioned something about the house, and I asked her who lived there. She explained to me that kids that didn't have anywhere to live stayed there. I couldn't comprehend that, so I asked her some more questions, and she explained that sometimes children couldn't live with their parents for various reasons, and so they sometimes moved into a group home, and that was what that house was.
This was completely new and disturbing information to me! I couldn't believe that some kids didn't have anywhere to live. Why wouldn't they be with their parents? The only reason I could come up with was that their parents must have died. That was how naive I was at that time in my life. I was so sad to think of those kids living there without a mom and dad to take care of them. I wanted to help them, but I really didn't know what I could do, since I was just a kid myself.
Now, I've always been a night owl. My mom would put me to bed at a certain time each night, but most of the time I didn't go right to sleep. I would just lay in bed trying to sleep, but I would be awake. So, I would lay there and talk to God. I would tell Him about my day, my thoughts, my dreams. After this new realization about some kids not having parents, I began telling God that someday I wanted to adopt one of those kids, and give them a home. I wanted to be a mom to someone that didn't have one. That's what I wanted to do, and that was what I was going to do. I pretty much decided that in the fourth grade.
When Jeremy and I got married, he knew about this. He knew that I wanted to adopt a child some day, and that I really wanted to adopt an older child who wasn't as likely to get adopted. And, I think he was fine with that idea, though I don't think we really talked about it much. And, pretty much as soon as we got married, I would have adopted a child that needed a home. He wasn't as interested, and he was exactly right not to be too, because the time for us to adopt was definitely not right! :) In my heart I knew that it wasn't the right time, but I still wanted to do it, sometimes so much I could hardly bear it, so I began praying and asking God to just lay it on Jeremy's heart when it was the right time for us to adopt someone. I asked God to give him a strong desire to adopt when and if the time was ever right. Because, I was ready to do it right then and that just wasn't what we were supposed to do. Sometimes feelings can really get in the way of being led by God if you let them.
So, throughout the first five or six years of our marriage, I would mention adopting to Jeremy every so often, but he never really seemed too interested in the idea. I would show him a picture of a child waiting to be adopted that I had seen in a newspaper, and he really wouldn't say much. That desire was still very strong inside me, but it wasn't in Jeremy, so I knew the time just wasn't right. How did I know that? I knew it because I had asked the Lord to lay adoption on Jeremy's heart when the time was right, and since he wasn't interested in adopting, I knew the time wasn't right. When the time was right, Jeremy would want to adopt as well. And, that was that, until one day...
It was Jeremy and my anniversary, and we had gone out for the evening, and had decided to stop at the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS. We lived in Olathe, KS at the time. As we were walking into the mall, I picked up a local newspaper-type magazine and as we were driving home, I was flipping through that local magazine and I saw a feature about a child waiting to be adopted. Her name was Jennifer and she was 13 years old. She was so pretty, and my heart just went out to her. I wanted her right there on the spot! I showed her picture to Jeremy, and he didn't say much, something like, "That sure is sad." And, that was all that was said. We got home and I didn't think anything else about it.
About three days later Jeremy called me from work and caught me completely off guard by saying, quite boldly, "Nikki, we have got to adopt one of those children from that magazine! I've been going to their website every day here at work, and looking at all these children that need homes. I look at those kids and it actually makes me cry. (My husband, by the way, does not cry very easily!) We can't help them all, but we could adopt one of them!"
I definitely surprised him by responding, "OK."
Now he was the one caught off guard! He asked, "Don't you at least want to pray about it? It is a pretty big decision to adopt a child!"
And, I said, "Nope, I already want to adopt. You know that. I have since I was a little girl. And, now that you want to also, the timing must be right. Let's do it!"
Jeremy told me later, as we went further down the adoption road, that he never had realized just how much I wanted to adopt a child. It truly was my heart's desire, and now that he wanted to as well, I was happy to tell anyone that would listen how excited I was to adopt a child that needed a home! I didn't mention it a lot to him in the early years of our marriage because I never wanted to put pressure on him. I really wanted it to be the Lord's timing when we did it, and I know that a wife can have a big influence on her husband, so I didn't want to influence him to adopt at the wrong time (even though I really wanted to do it right then!). No, it is always better to wait on the Lord's timing for things, so I guess that is why he never really knew how much I wanted to adopt until that day when he called me from work telling me that he wanted one of those precious children!
So, it was either later that week or the next week that we started the adoption process! Praise the Lord! He is so good, and I am so thankful! Of course, there's a lot more to this story that I will have to continue in another post! :) Love and blessings to you all!
This was completely new and disturbing information to me! I couldn't believe that some kids didn't have anywhere to live. Why wouldn't they be with their parents? The only reason I could come up with was that their parents must have died. That was how naive I was at that time in my life. I was so sad to think of those kids living there without a mom and dad to take care of them. I wanted to help them, but I really didn't know what I could do, since I was just a kid myself.
Now, I've always been a night owl. My mom would put me to bed at a certain time each night, but most of the time I didn't go right to sleep. I would just lay in bed trying to sleep, but I would be awake. So, I would lay there and talk to God. I would tell Him about my day, my thoughts, my dreams. After this new realization about some kids not having parents, I began telling God that someday I wanted to adopt one of those kids, and give them a home. I wanted to be a mom to someone that didn't have one. That's what I wanted to do, and that was what I was going to do. I pretty much decided that in the fourth grade.
When Jeremy and I got married, he knew about this. He knew that I wanted to adopt a child some day, and that I really wanted to adopt an older child who wasn't as likely to get adopted. And, I think he was fine with that idea, though I don't think we really talked about it much. And, pretty much as soon as we got married, I would have adopted a child that needed a home. He wasn't as interested, and he was exactly right not to be too, because the time for us to adopt was definitely not right! :) In my heart I knew that it wasn't the right time, but I still wanted to do it, sometimes so much I could hardly bear it, so I began praying and asking God to just lay it on Jeremy's heart when it was the right time for us to adopt someone. I asked God to give him a strong desire to adopt when and if the time was ever right. Because, I was ready to do it right then and that just wasn't what we were supposed to do. Sometimes feelings can really get in the way of being led by God if you let them.
So, throughout the first five or six years of our marriage, I would mention adopting to Jeremy every so often, but he never really seemed too interested in the idea. I would show him a picture of a child waiting to be adopted that I had seen in a newspaper, and he really wouldn't say much. That desire was still very strong inside me, but it wasn't in Jeremy, so I knew the time just wasn't right. How did I know that? I knew it because I had asked the Lord to lay adoption on Jeremy's heart when the time was right, and since he wasn't interested in adopting, I knew the time wasn't right. When the time was right, Jeremy would want to adopt as well. And, that was that, until one day...
It was Jeremy and my anniversary, and we had gone out for the evening, and had decided to stop at the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS. We lived in Olathe, KS at the time. As we were walking into the mall, I picked up a local newspaper-type magazine and as we were driving home, I was flipping through that local magazine and I saw a feature about a child waiting to be adopted. Her name was Jennifer and she was 13 years old. She was so pretty, and my heart just went out to her. I wanted her right there on the spot! I showed her picture to Jeremy, and he didn't say much, something like, "That sure is sad." And, that was all that was said. We got home and I didn't think anything else about it.
About three days later Jeremy called me from work and caught me completely off guard by saying, quite boldly, "Nikki, we have got to adopt one of those children from that magazine! I've been going to their website every day here at work, and looking at all these children that need homes. I look at those kids and it actually makes me cry. (My husband, by the way, does not cry very easily!) We can't help them all, but we could adopt one of them!"
I definitely surprised him by responding, "OK."
Now he was the one caught off guard! He asked, "Don't you at least want to pray about it? It is a pretty big decision to adopt a child!"
And, I said, "Nope, I already want to adopt. You know that. I have since I was a little girl. And, now that you want to also, the timing must be right. Let's do it!"
Jeremy told me later, as we went further down the adoption road, that he never had realized just how much I wanted to adopt a child. It truly was my heart's desire, and now that he wanted to as well, I was happy to tell anyone that would listen how excited I was to adopt a child that needed a home! I didn't mention it a lot to him in the early years of our marriage because I never wanted to put pressure on him. I really wanted it to be the Lord's timing when we did it, and I know that a wife can have a big influence on her husband, so I didn't want to influence him to adopt at the wrong time (even though I really wanted to do it right then!). No, it is always better to wait on the Lord's timing for things, so I guess that is why he never really knew how much I wanted to adopt until that day when he called me from work telling me that he wanted one of those precious children!
So, it was either later that week or the next week that we started the adoption process! Praise the Lord! He is so good, and I am so thankful! Of course, there's a lot more to this story that I will have to continue in another post! :) Love and blessings to you all!
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