About a year and five months ago I was at a Wednesday night prayer service. D'Nae, our then 16 year old daughter, was heavy on my heart. She was really struggling, and I didn't seem to know how to help her. We adopted D'Nae when she was almost 10, and throughout the last six years, we had had our ups and downs. But, now she seemed so distant and hard. She was making bad choices, but it wasn't just that. Things weren't good...
So, that night towards the end of the prayer service, I went up front to kneel at the alter and pray for our daughter, to ask God to help her and us. I began by asking God for His wisdom, for His grace, for His help. Towards the end of my prayer, I asked something I wasn't expecting to ask. My request was, "Lord, send someone to help D'Nae." I was surprised after I said it, but then I thought, "Yeah, that's a good prayer." So, I prayed it again, and asked God to help D'Nae through whoever He wanted to use, to send help for her, even if it wasn't directly from Jeremy or me.
Little did I know what would occur about a month later. I won't go through all the heart-wrenching details, but one night things escalated, and D'Nae said she was leaving and never coming back. We begged her to stay at least one more night, thinking things would look better in the morning. She refused, but Jeremy finally convinced her to stay one more night with us, with the promise that he would take her to a teen crisis shelter in the morning. It was hard to sleep that night, but we were exhausted, and I thought that maybe tomorrow they would hook us up with a good counselor that could help us all.
Well, that didn't happen. Jeremy took D'Nae out there that morning, and she adamantly told the social workers there she wanted to be back in foster care. Jeremy pleaded with her for hours, but finally called me saying, "I think we have to let her go." My heart said, "Absolutely not!" but my head knew we couldn't force a 16 year old girl to stay with us if she really wanted to leave. And, at least she would be safe.
They had an opening (an amazing gift from God) at a Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, MO. My heart broke again at the thought of her being in a children's home, but they said she would receive Christian counseling and help. She would be safe. They would watch her 24 hours per day. I was thankful it was a Christian place, since she could have been placed anywhere in the state of Missouri.
The next few days are somewhat of a blur for me, but it was either the first or second night, when I was unable to sleep, that the Lord spoke to my heart. Softly, gently, these words bubbled up inside me, "I'm answering your prayer." Isn't it something when the Lord speaks something to your heart like that how you know exactly what He is referring to? "My prayer?!? My prayer?" I knew just what prayer He was referring to (the one I prayed at that Wednesday night church service) and I was actually a bit outraged at the very thought that He was answering my prayer like this. "You are answering my prayer LIKE THIS? You are sending someone to help D'Nae by having her LEAVE US AND LIVE IN A CHILDREN'S HOME?" But, as I got quiet, the peace of God surrounded and filled me, and I knew He was. I knew He was answering our prayer through this, no matter how hard and awful it seemed to me. I held onto what He told me that night. God was answering my prayer. God WAS helping D'Nae.
When our first therapy session didn't go well (which, by the way, is an understatement), I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When we didn't have any contact with D'Nae for 2 1/2 months, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked like we may never have a relationship with our daughter ever again, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked impossible, when it seemed like it could never work, when it appeared all hope was gone, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae.
And, guess what? He was! He did!
I can never express how thankful I am to Him and to our family and friends who supported us through all of this, prayed for us, counseled and listened, loved, hugged, and cared. And, to our social worker, to the staff at the Missouri Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, to D'Nae's (and our) counselor there. I can never thank them enough. They helped her so much. They helped us so much. Everyone did. The support and love has been overwhelming!
And, now what seemed impossible is happening. After a year and four months, my precious daughter is moving back home, and most importantly, she wants to move back home. I'm so proud of her for working through some really difficult things! She's a strong and amazing young woman, and I know God has wonderful things in store for her, not just in the future, but today!
If you ever wonder if God is in the restoration business, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE IS! If you ever wonder if God can cause impossible things to become possible, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE CAN and HE WILL! If you ever wonder if you can turn to God with your most difficult and overwhelming problem...if you ever wonder if He is able to actually help you with it...well, I'm here to tell you that HE IS and HE WILL.
Thankful does not even begin to describe what is in my heart today, but it is the only word I know to say. Thank you, Lord, for giving me my daughter back, and for helping her when we didn't know how to help her. Thank you for continuing to help us in the days, months, and years ahead. If there's one thing I know about you, Lord, it is that YOU ARE FAITHFUL!
To God be the Glory!
Nikki
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
God Can Turn Your Mess into a MASTERPIECE!
(This
is a true account of something that happened in my life in 2009 and i decided to share it on here.) :)
On
Saturday evening I decided to make some pull-apart cinnamon bread for breakfast
on Sunday morning. A neat new recipe, I thought. It used frozen
yeast rolls in a Bundt pan with cinnamon, brown sugar, butter, pecan, and
butterscotch pudding. Sounded yummy. Anyway, you make it the night
before and let it rise in a cold oven overnight, and then bake it in the
morning. I got it all ready late Saturday evening and stuck it in our
cold oven.
In
the morning when I woke up and peeked in the oven, the rolls had risen so much
they were everywhere and there was a big mess all over the oven! I wish I
had taken a picture of the oven, but I did take one of the pan once I got it
out of the oven and set it on the counter. What a
disaster! And, of course my five kids were all very disappointed when
they saw it and I explained that the recipe was a flop; we weren’t going
to have pull-apart cinnamon bread after all.
A
little while later I was getting ready to throw the dough away, and I just
scooped the big mess into a pile in the pan, getting ready to carry it over to
the sink to put down the garbage disposal. As I was carrying it over, I
looked at it and thought it looked pretty good. So, I pushed the dough
back into the pan and thought I may as well try baking it. It looked like
it may turn out OK after all.
We
were all surprised when I took it out of the oven and dumped it out of the
pan. It looked perfect, like it could be on the cover of
a cooking magazine or something! As I was standing in amazement at this
“disaster” that I had almost thrown in the trash, I thought about God, and how
He works in our lives. The dough had looked worthless, and yet it wasn’t.
It had looked like a huge mistake, and yet it wasn’t. It looked like it
wouldn’t be any good at all, and yet it was beautiful and delicious. And, I
was reminded once again of how God can take the messes that we’ve made in our
life, and turn them into a MASTERPIECE!
Love and Blessings to you all,
Nikki :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Cinderella
When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my Grandpa Moore took me on a date. I was visiting my Aunt Carol who lived in Dallas at the time, and my grandpa was there on a business. They got it all arranged for him to pick me up and take me out on a date. I remember my aunt telling me my grandpa said we could do anything I wanted to do. I knew right away that I wanted to go eat at a Mexican restaurant and see a movie. We looked through the movie listings together and I decided on Cinderella.
When my grandpa got there to pick me up he asked me what I wanted to do. "Go eat Mexican food and see Cinderella," I instantly told him. He smiled and said, "I like a girl who knows what she wants!" And, so our date began.
I don't remember much about our dinner, except that when we paid for our meal he bought me extra candy. The restaurant we ate at gave you a little piece of candy at the end of your meal, but he bought me a big bag of it. That is exactly the way my grandpa was...over the top with everything he did! :)
Next we went to see Cinderella. I loved it! I sat enthralled as the prince whisked Cinderella away from her horrible life with her step-mother and step-sisters and married her! Now she was a princess! As we were driving back to my aunt's house, my grandpa and I talked about the movie. He asked me what I thought of it. As I was sharing my thoughts, I said, "I wonder what Cinderella did to her mean step-mother and step-sisters after she became a princess." Visions of all the mean things she could do to them danced in my head. "She could definitely get revenge on them now," I thought. My grandpa simply replied, "I bet she forgave them."
Those words amazed me! I turned them over and over again in my head. Forgive them?!? After what they did to her? I will never forget those words. My grandpa changed my way of thinking that day so many years ago. He's in Heaven now, and today would have been his birthday. So, in his memory and honor, I wanted to share this precious story! I love you, Grandpa Moore! I'll see you in Heaven when I get there! :) Until them, just know I remember your words, and I still take them to heart today. Forgiveness is always the best answer.
When my grandpa got there to pick me up he asked me what I wanted to do. "Go eat Mexican food and see Cinderella," I instantly told him. He smiled and said, "I like a girl who knows what she wants!" And, so our date began.
I don't remember much about our dinner, except that when we paid for our meal he bought me extra candy. The restaurant we ate at gave you a little piece of candy at the end of your meal, but he bought me a big bag of it. That is exactly the way my grandpa was...over the top with everything he did! :)
Next we went to see Cinderella. I loved it! I sat enthralled as the prince whisked Cinderella away from her horrible life with her step-mother and step-sisters and married her! Now she was a princess! As we were driving back to my aunt's house, my grandpa and I talked about the movie. He asked me what I thought of it. As I was sharing my thoughts, I said, "I wonder what Cinderella did to her mean step-mother and step-sisters after she became a princess." Visions of all the mean things she could do to them danced in my head. "She could definitely get revenge on them now," I thought. My grandpa simply replied, "I bet she forgave them."
Those words amazed me! I turned them over and over again in my head. Forgive them?!? After what they did to her? I will never forget those words. My grandpa changed my way of thinking that day so many years ago. He's in Heaven now, and today would have been his birthday. So, in his memory and honor, I wanted to share this precious story! I love you, Grandpa Moore! I'll see you in Heaven when I get there! :) Until them, just know I remember your words, and I still take them to heart today. Forgiveness is always the best answer.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Top Five Reasons I Like Working Puzzles
Well, you may have noticed I did my first 1000 piece puzzle over my Christmas break. Not that I had never done a 1000 piece puzzle before, but I had never done a puzzle before. My mom likes to do puzzles, so growing up she would get one going in our kitchen and I would work on it a little bit here and there. Now that I have finished not only one but two 1000 piece puzzles I know that my mom was the one who put together most of the puzzles "we" did. :) And, it's not that easy, actually. At one point I was thinking, "I really need an adult to come help me with this!" Ha, guess even when I'm almost 42 I'm still looking for an adult, and then it hits me that I am the adult! This possibly says something about me, but that is not what this post is about. This post is entitled "The Top Five Reasons I Like Working Puzzles." Here we go, in order from #5 to #1!
5. It takes perserverance to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. It is challenging, and you have to really stick with it!
4. It takes a lot of patience to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. This is no microwave dinner puzzle! No, this is a made-from-scratch, spend-all-day-cooking dinner! And those kind of dinners are always better than microwave ones!
3. It takes problem solving to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. That first puzzle I put together was really challenging. The pictures on the pieces were no help at all! Absolutely none! (OK, maybe they did help a little bit...) Eventually I realized I was going to have to try a new strategy if I wanted to get that puzzle put together. So, I ended up sorting out the pieces according their shape, and that actually helped and worked. Even when I had less than 100 pieces left I still had to use the puzzle piece's shape to figure out where it went. The puzzle was that hard!
2. If I was able to talk someone in to helping me, it gave us a lot of time to talk. Putting together a puzzle with someone is so much better than watching TV with them, because you can just sit and talk. And laugh! And be silly together! I love that about putting together puzzles. It's a slow, simple activity and gives you time to talk with each other.
1. And the number one thing I like about working puzzles is finishing the puzzle! Wow! It's an amazing feeling! (And, of course, then I can start another one!)
I think churches are kind of like 1000 piece puzzles. Each person is a piece of that puzzle, and without that person there the puzzle can never be complete. It is so cool to start out with 1000 pieces that look random. They don't really look like they go together at all. And then slowly, meticulously, one piece hooks to another, which hooks to another, which hooks to another. Sometimes when you work a puzzle you get a whole big chunk of pieces together, but they don't hook into the whole puzzle. Then, amazingly, you see where that chunk connects! It really does fit in with the rest of the puzzle, even when it looked like it never would. You may feel like you don't have any where that you hook into at church, but guess what, you do! You are a valuable piece, and without you, the puzzle can never be complete!
Sometimes I was looking and looking for a particular piece. I actually would think it was not there; it was lost. But, wouldn't you know it? A little bit later I would find it. Maybe that same day or maybe the next. Or, maybe not until the very end! Sometimes I would think a piece would be easy to spot, and it wasn't. I would try piece after piece to no avail, until finally I would find the one that connected to the four surrounding pieces. It took time and perseverance, but it was worth it to see that finished products. You may feel that way. You may feel like you don't fit anywhere at church, but I promise you, you do! Or, it may seem like you fit somewhere in your church, and then you find out you don't fit there after all. Don't give up; try another spot. At one church I went to I ended up working in the church bookstore, and I never thought I would want to do that! I made so many friends, and I loved it! But, if you would have asked me, I never would have chosen to volunteer there. They had a need so I decided to do it, and it was the perfect spot for me...my piece hooked in perfectly there! :)
Just like working a puzzle it may take perseverance to find your spot. It may take patience. It will require problem solving. But, you will build relationships, you will get to talk with people you may not have ever known. You will get to laugh, sometimes so hard you feel like you just can't breathe! And, you will get to cry with someone when they're hurting, or have someone there to cry with you when you're hurting. You won't be alone in life; you'll have someone to walk alongside you. At one church we attended the pastor would always say, "Do life together!" I like that! Go find out where you fit into that amazingly beautiful puzzle. You are important; your piece is important. You are part of a beautiful picture, His beautiful plan! This year I'm going to step out and be a part of it, even when it's scary and even when it's hard! Because I know it will be worth it in the end! :)
"For there is one body. But it has many parts. Even though it has many parts, they make up one body." I Corinthians 12:12
5. It takes perserverance to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. It is challenging, and you have to really stick with it!
4. It takes a lot of patience to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. This is no microwave dinner puzzle! No, this is a made-from-scratch, spend-all-day-cooking dinner! And those kind of dinners are always better than microwave ones!
3. It takes problem solving to put together an 1000 piece puzzle. That first puzzle I put together was really challenging. The pictures on the pieces were no help at all! Absolutely none! (OK, maybe they did help a little bit...) Eventually I realized I was going to have to try a new strategy if I wanted to get that puzzle put together. So, I ended up sorting out the pieces according their shape, and that actually helped and worked. Even when I had less than 100 pieces left I still had to use the puzzle piece's shape to figure out where it went. The puzzle was that hard!
2. If I was able to talk someone in to helping me, it gave us a lot of time to talk. Putting together a puzzle with someone is so much better than watching TV with them, because you can just sit and talk. And laugh! And be silly together! I love that about putting together puzzles. It's a slow, simple activity and gives you time to talk with each other.
1. And the number one thing I like about working puzzles is finishing the puzzle! Wow! It's an amazing feeling! (And, of course, then I can start another one!)
I think churches are kind of like 1000 piece puzzles. Each person is a piece of that puzzle, and without that person there the puzzle can never be complete. It is so cool to start out with 1000 pieces that look random. They don't really look like they go together at all. And then slowly, meticulously, one piece hooks to another, which hooks to another, which hooks to another. Sometimes when you work a puzzle you get a whole big chunk of pieces together, but they don't hook into the whole puzzle. Then, amazingly, you see where that chunk connects! It really does fit in with the rest of the puzzle, even when it looked like it never would. You may feel like you don't have any where that you hook into at church, but guess what, you do! You are a valuable piece, and without you, the puzzle can never be complete!
 |
| It just looks like a bunch of random pieces in a box, but in reality they all fit together! :) |
Sometimes I was looking and looking for a particular piece. I actually would think it was not there; it was lost. But, wouldn't you know it? A little bit later I would find it. Maybe that same day or maybe the next. Or, maybe not until the very end! Sometimes I would think a piece would be easy to spot, and it wasn't. I would try piece after piece to no avail, until finally I would find the one that connected to the four surrounding pieces. It took time and perseverance, but it was worth it to see that finished products. You may feel that way. You may feel like you don't fit anywhere at church, but I promise you, you do! Or, it may seem like you fit somewhere in your church, and then you find out you don't fit there after all. Don't give up; try another spot. At one church I went to I ended up working in the church bookstore, and I never thought I would want to do that! I made so many friends, and I loved it! But, if you would have asked me, I never would have chosen to volunteer there. They had a need so I decided to do it, and it was the perfect spot for me...my piece hooked in perfectly there! :)
Just like working a puzzle it may take perseverance to find your spot. It may take patience. It will require problem solving. But, you will build relationships, you will get to talk with people you may not have ever known. You will get to laugh, sometimes so hard you feel like you just can't breathe! And, you will get to cry with someone when they're hurting, or have someone there to cry with you when you're hurting. You won't be alone in life; you'll have someone to walk alongside you. At one church we attended the pastor would always say, "Do life together!" I like that! Go find out where you fit into that amazingly beautiful puzzle. You are important; your piece is important. You are part of a beautiful picture, His beautiful plan! This year I'm going to step out and be a part of it, even when it's scary and even when it's hard! Because I know it will be worth it in the end! :)
"For there is one body. But it has many parts. Even though it has many parts, they make up one body." I Corinthians 12:12
Monday, August 26, 2013
God WILL Get You Where You Need to Be!
Well, my sweet family and friends, I have a praise report
that I just must share today! :) As
you know I started college classes last week, and you may or may not know this,
but I am taking my first college math class since going back to school. I
have been warned by many about how challenging this course is, but last week I
LOVED it! It is a class where the professor breaks down math problems
procedurally and shows many different ways to arrive at the correct
answer. I sat in fascination on Thursday listening to him explain the many
different ways to derive answers to somewhat complex story problems. Some
in our class may have been bored or confused, but I was thoroughly engrossed! :) He also had me come up to the board
twice to explain how I had arrived at the answer I had (which was correct), and
it reminded me of how much I love explaining math to people!
Anyway, this really got me to thinking about my elementary
education area of emphasis. It seemed like a no-brainer to
do the dual credit option (12 hours towards my bachelor’s degree that also
counts towards my master’s degree), but the problem with that is there are only
3 options: administration (no way!), special education (also, not my
strong suit, though it would be beneficial), or reading literacy. Out of
those three I picked reading literacy and have been working that
direction. Interestingly enough, I was unable to get into any of my dual
credit reading classes this semester because of a “mistake” my advisor made
(and let me tell you, I was pretty aggravated about it at the time!), so as of
right now I have not taken even one class towards my area of
emphasis.
Well, I should rephrase that…I THOUGHT I had not
taken one class towards my area of emphasis. :)
Let me explain what I mean: I checked in with my adviser this morning about
the possibility of changing my area of emphasis from reading literacy to
mathematics. After this whole day of she and I corresponding back and
forth with each other, I have learned that I ALREADY have 2 of my
math requirements towards a math area of emphasis from my 2 math education
classes that I took way back at Emporia State University! What does this
mean, you ask? This means that I only have to take 6 hours instead of 12
(because I already have the other 6) and this will save me 2 classes!
And, I get to have my area of emphasis in an area that I am really passionate
about, and most importantly, the direction I feel the Lord is leading me!
This makes me think about how good God is. I was heading the wrong direction, going towards the wrong area of emphasis and the wrong masters program. All of last year, I was pretty set on this direction. All summer, I was pretty set on this direction. However, I must say, something about it never really seemed right. Sometimes I would think to myself, "I just wish they had a dual credit program in math." or "If only they offered this program in math." Hmm, was God trying to tell me something or what?
I was never really settled, even though I wanted to be because dual credit pretty much always sounds nice, doesn't it? Saving time and money pretty much always sounds like a great idea, right? Well, not if it is saving time and money on something that is NOT what you want to be doing (as my sweet and wise husband has pointed out to me many times, saying, "maybe you should do math, even though it is not dual credit" and things of this nature). Yes, sometimes we are the last one to figure out what we really want to do, even when it is clear to everyone else. And then, today, to find out that really this is going to save me six course hours...well, that is just over-the-top exciting! God truly is helping me, and YOU, MORE than we even realize or know! He truly is! Trust that He is leading you today, because, guess what? He is!!! :)
Hope your Monday is going as well as mine!
Love and Blessings,
Nikki :)
PS~This means that I will not be doing the dual credit
program, but I know that God has that all worked out as well. I am
feeling confident at this point that reading literacy is not the direction He
is leading me! :) Ha! Ha!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
2013-Deep Thoughts from Nikki
It is January 3, 2013! Wow! A new year! I just read the last post I wrote back in the middle of September! Um, yeah! Can you tell that I am a full-time wife, mom AND college student? I am enjoying every minute of it! Well, maybe not having to take that c-base test, but the rest of it! :) First semester done, next semester begins January 14th. God is good! God is faithful! I love Him so much!
My heart is full. My mind is full. I have so many thoughts, so many things I want to say. And, then I wonder if what I have to say is better left unsaid. Ha! Last year was quite a year for our family! So many good things, so many challenging things, so many THINGS! Some of them have left me with a sad heart, but you know what? God is the healer of a sad heart, and He loves me! He has me in the palm of His hand, and I know He will never let me go!
Here's one thing I learned in 2012. People, churches, situations, circumstances. They just might fail you. They just might let you down. But, God NEVER will! Not ever. This morning I was thinking about something that the Lord spoke to my heart years ago. I mean, this was so many years ago that we only had two kids then! :)
You all probably know how crazy I am about my husband and how awesome I think he is. I mean, he is awesome, so what can I say? But, one day years ago something happened. I can't remember what, which shows you just how important it was, but something happened and I was kind of upset at Jeremy. Like I said, I can't remember what happened or why I was upset. But, I was talking to the Lord about it (Side note here: No matter what is happening in your life, it is always a perfect idea to talk with the Lord about it. He already knows about it, and He always wants to HELP you. That's just the way He is. It is His very nature! Man, He truly is my hero and the One I want to be more like! OK, side note finished!) and this is what that small, still voice spoke to my spirit. Not out loud, but inside. "He's just a man."
Wow! Now, trust me when I say I am positive the Lord did not mean any disrespect towards Jeremy. I know the Lord thinks the world of my husband, but I definitely understood His point. Jeremy IS just a man. He is not perfect, and nor should I expect him to be! You know, that is the case with EVERYONE that you and I know. Our spouse, our kids, our mom, our dad, our best friend, our family, our church, our pastor...they're "just a man." They can mess up. They can make a bad choice. They can do or say the wrong thing, intentionally or unintentionally. And, that's OK, because they're "just a man."
Here's where the problem comes in, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. The problem comes in if you or I elevate ANYONE or ANYTHING higher in our life than they really should be. Yeah, there's only ONE God sitting on that throne, and it is definitely not anyone or anything besides HIM! I'm pretty sure the Bible calls that kind of thing an idol.
You may be thinking, "Everyone knows that!", and I would have said the same thing. But, the thing is, when you're actually in that kind of a situation, you don't realize it, because if you did, you would get out of it, right? Yeah, I think that very problem arose in my life over the last few years. Something got elevated higher than it should have. And, no one sits in that spot in my life except for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! My eyes are on Him. He is the One I am following. Him and only Him, my friends! Him and only Him!
So, these are my deep and personal thoughts as the new year begins. Why do I share them with you? Only one reason...because it may help someone. Take inventory. Did you read those last two words? In case you missed them, I'll say them again. Take inventory. If there is anyone or anything in your life that you think is perfect and cannot make a mistake, let me give you heads up. They're not and they can! There you go...that could save you years of counseling! (You're welcome!)
Well, my friends! I wish you all the best and most wonderful 2013! I believe it IS going to be a great year, full of love, joy, and peace. There will also probably be hardships, sadness, and loss. "Well, that's kind of a downer, Nikki!" I guess it could be, but it is probably the truth! You know what is so great? We serve a God who has promised us that we can overcome any and everything that tries to come against us! If God is for us, who can be against us? That really is the truth! No weapon formed against us will prosper! When God wants you to do something, and you step out to do it, nothing can keep it from happening! No devil in hell and no person on earth! And that's the truth! If you're on God's team, the good news is, your team WINS! Always! So, 2013, bring it on! Because of HIM...we got this!
My heart is full. My mind is full. I have so many thoughts, so many things I want to say. And, then I wonder if what I have to say is better left unsaid. Ha! Last year was quite a year for our family! So many good things, so many challenging things, so many THINGS! Some of them have left me with a sad heart, but you know what? God is the healer of a sad heart, and He loves me! He has me in the palm of His hand, and I know He will never let me go!
Here's one thing I learned in 2012. People, churches, situations, circumstances. They just might fail you. They just might let you down. But, God NEVER will! Not ever. This morning I was thinking about something that the Lord spoke to my heart years ago. I mean, this was so many years ago that we only had two kids then! :)
You all probably know how crazy I am about my husband and how awesome I think he is. I mean, he is awesome, so what can I say? But, one day years ago something happened. I can't remember what, which shows you just how important it was, but something happened and I was kind of upset at Jeremy. Like I said, I can't remember what happened or why I was upset. But, I was talking to the Lord about it (Side note here: No matter what is happening in your life, it is always a perfect idea to talk with the Lord about it. He already knows about it, and He always wants to HELP you. That's just the way He is. It is His very nature! Man, He truly is my hero and the One I want to be more like! OK, side note finished!) and this is what that small, still voice spoke to my spirit. Not out loud, but inside. "He's just a man."
Wow! Now, trust me when I say I am positive the Lord did not mean any disrespect towards Jeremy. I know the Lord thinks the world of my husband, but I definitely understood His point. Jeremy IS just a man. He is not perfect, and nor should I expect him to be! You know, that is the case with EVERYONE that you and I know. Our spouse, our kids, our mom, our dad, our best friend, our family, our church, our pastor...they're "just a man." They can mess up. They can make a bad choice. They can do or say the wrong thing, intentionally or unintentionally. And, that's OK, because they're "just a man."
Here's where the problem comes in, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. The problem comes in if you or I elevate ANYONE or ANYTHING higher in our life than they really should be. Yeah, there's only ONE God sitting on that throne, and it is definitely not anyone or anything besides HIM! I'm pretty sure the Bible calls that kind of thing an idol.
You may be thinking, "Everyone knows that!", and I would have said the same thing. But, the thing is, when you're actually in that kind of a situation, you don't realize it, because if you did, you would get out of it, right? Yeah, I think that very problem arose in my life over the last few years. Something got elevated higher than it should have. And, no one sits in that spot in my life except for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! My eyes are on Him. He is the One I am following. Him and only Him, my friends! Him and only Him!
So, these are my deep and personal thoughts as the new year begins. Why do I share them with you? Only one reason...because it may help someone. Take inventory. Did you read those last two words? In case you missed them, I'll say them again. Take inventory. If there is anyone or anything in your life that you think is perfect and cannot make a mistake, let me give you heads up. They're not and they can! There you go...that could save you years of counseling! (You're welcome!)
Well, my friends! I wish you all the best and most wonderful 2013! I believe it IS going to be a great year, full of love, joy, and peace. There will also probably be hardships, sadness, and loss. "Well, that's kind of a downer, Nikki!" I guess it could be, but it is probably the truth! You know what is so great? We serve a God who has promised us that we can overcome any and everything that tries to come against us! If God is for us, who can be against us? That really is the truth! No weapon formed against us will prosper! When God wants you to do something, and you step out to do it, nothing can keep it from happening! No devil in hell and no person on earth! And that's the truth! If you're on God's team, the good news is, your team WINS! Always! So, 2013, bring it on! Because of HIM...we got this!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Adoption!
When I was in the fourth grade my mom and I were driving somewhere in my small hometown of Parsons, KS, and we drove by a home where children lived that were in foster care. My mom mentioned something about the house, and I asked her who lived there. She explained to me that kids that didn't have anywhere to live stayed there. I couldn't comprehend that, so I asked her some more questions, and she explained that sometimes children couldn't live with their parents for various reasons, and so they sometimes moved into a group home, and that was what that house was.
This was completely new and disturbing information to me! I couldn't believe that some kids didn't have anywhere to live. Why wouldn't they be with their parents? The only reason I could come up with was that their parents must have died. That was how naive I was at that time in my life. I was so sad to think of those kids living there without a mom and dad to take care of them. I wanted to help them, but I really didn't know what I could do, since I was just a kid myself.
Now, I've always been a night owl. My mom would put me to bed at a certain time each night, but most of the time I didn't go right to sleep. I would just lay in bed trying to sleep, but I would be awake. So, I would lay there and talk to God. I would tell Him about my day, my thoughts, my dreams. After this new realization about some kids not having parents, I began telling God that someday I wanted to adopt one of those kids, and give them a home. I wanted to be a mom to someone that didn't have one. That's what I wanted to do, and that was what I was going to do. I pretty much decided that in the fourth grade.
When Jeremy and I got married, he knew about this. He knew that I wanted to adopt a child some day, and that I really wanted to adopt an older child who wasn't as likely to get adopted. And, I think he was fine with that idea, though I don't think we really talked about it much. And, pretty much as soon as we got married, I would have adopted a child that needed a home. He wasn't as interested, and he was exactly right not to be too, because the time for us to adopt was definitely not right! :) In my heart I knew that it wasn't the right time, but I still wanted to do it, sometimes so much I could hardly bear it, so I began praying and asking God to just lay it on Jeremy's heart when it was the right time for us to adopt someone. I asked God to give him a strong desire to adopt when and if the time was ever right. Because, I was ready to do it right then and that just wasn't what we were supposed to do. Sometimes feelings can really get in the way of being led by God if you let them.
So, throughout the first five or six years of our marriage, I would mention adopting to Jeremy every so often, but he never really seemed too interested in the idea. I would show him a picture of a child waiting to be adopted that I had seen in a newspaper, and he really wouldn't say much. That desire was still very strong inside me, but it wasn't in Jeremy, so I knew the time just wasn't right. How did I know that? I knew it because I had asked the Lord to lay adoption on Jeremy's heart when the time was right, and since he wasn't interested in adopting, I knew the time wasn't right. When the time was right, Jeremy would want to adopt as well. And, that was that, until one day...
It was Jeremy and my anniversary, and we had gone out for the evening, and had decided to stop at the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS. We lived in Olathe, KS at the time. As we were walking into the mall, I picked up a local newspaper-type magazine and as we were driving home, I was flipping through that local magazine and I saw a feature about a child waiting to be adopted. Her name was Jennifer and she was 13 years old. She was so pretty, and my heart just went out to her. I wanted her right there on the spot! I showed her picture to Jeremy, and he didn't say much, something like, "That sure is sad." And, that was all that was said. We got home and I didn't think anything else about it.
About three days later Jeremy called me from work and caught me completely off guard by saying, quite boldly, "Nikki, we have got to adopt one of those children from that magazine! I've been going to their website every day here at work, and looking at all these children that need homes. I look at those kids and it actually makes me cry. (My husband, by the way, does not cry very easily!) We can't help them all, but we could adopt one of them!"
I definitely surprised him by responding, "OK."
Now he was the one caught off guard! He asked, "Don't you at least want to pray about it? It is a pretty big decision to adopt a child!"
And, I said, "Nope, I already want to adopt. You know that. I have since I was a little girl. And, now that you want to also, the timing must be right. Let's do it!"
Jeremy told me later, as we went further down the adoption road, that he never had realized just how much I wanted to adopt a child. It truly was my heart's desire, and now that he wanted to as well, I was happy to tell anyone that would listen how excited I was to adopt a child that needed a home! I didn't mention it a lot to him in the early years of our marriage because I never wanted to put pressure on him. I really wanted it to be the Lord's timing when we did it, and I know that a wife can have a big influence on her husband, so I didn't want to influence him to adopt at the wrong time (even though I really wanted to do it right then!). No, it is always better to wait on the Lord's timing for things, so I guess that is why he never really knew how much I wanted to adopt until that day when he called me from work telling me that he wanted one of those precious children!
So, it was either later that week or the next week that we started the adoption process! Praise the Lord! He is so good, and I am so thankful! Of course, there's a lot more to this story that I will have to continue in another post! :) Love and blessings to you all!
This was completely new and disturbing information to me! I couldn't believe that some kids didn't have anywhere to live. Why wouldn't they be with their parents? The only reason I could come up with was that their parents must have died. That was how naive I was at that time in my life. I was so sad to think of those kids living there without a mom and dad to take care of them. I wanted to help them, but I really didn't know what I could do, since I was just a kid myself.
Now, I've always been a night owl. My mom would put me to bed at a certain time each night, but most of the time I didn't go right to sleep. I would just lay in bed trying to sleep, but I would be awake. So, I would lay there and talk to God. I would tell Him about my day, my thoughts, my dreams. After this new realization about some kids not having parents, I began telling God that someday I wanted to adopt one of those kids, and give them a home. I wanted to be a mom to someone that didn't have one. That's what I wanted to do, and that was what I was going to do. I pretty much decided that in the fourth grade.
When Jeremy and I got married, he knew about this. He knew that I wanted to adopt a child some day, and that I really wanted to adopt an older child who wasn't as likely to get adopted. And, I think he was fine with that idea, though I don't think we really talked about it much. And, pretty much as soon as we got married, I would have adopted a child that needed a home. He wasn't as interested, and he was exactly right not to be too, because the time for us to adopt was definitely not right! :) In my heart I knew that it wasn't the right time, but I still wanted to do it, sometimes so much I could hardly bear it, so I began praying and asking God to just lay it on Jeremy's heart when it was the right time for us to adopt someone. I asked God to give him a strong desire to adopt when and if the time was ever right. Because, I was ready to do it right then and that just wasn't what we were supposed to do. Sometimes feelings can really get in the way of being led by God if you let them.
So, throughout the first five or six years of our marriage, I would mention adopting to Jeremy every so often, but he never really seemed too interested in the idea. I would show him a picture of a child waiting to be adopted that I had seen in a newspaper, and he really wouldn't say much. That desire was still very strong inside me, but it wasn't in Jeremy, so I knew the time just wasn't right. How did I know that? I knew it because I had asked the Lord to lay adoption on Jeremy's heart when the time was right, and since he wasn't interested in adopting, I knew the time wasn't right. When the time was right, Jeremy would want to adopt as well. And, that was that, until one day...
It was Jeremy and my anniversary, and we had gone out for the evening, and had decided to stop at the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS. We lived in Olathe, KS at the time. As we were walking into the mall, I picked up a local newspaper-type magazine and as we were driving home, I was flipping through that local magazine and I saw a feature about a child waiting to be adopted. Her name was Jennifer and she was 13 years old. She was so pretty, and my heart just went out to her. I wanted her right there on the spot! I showed her picture to Jeremy, and he didn't say much, something like, "That sure is sad." And, that was all that was said. We got home and I didn't think anything else about it.
About three days later Jeremy called me from work and caught me completely off guard by saying, quite boldly, "Nikki, we have got to adopt one of those children from that magazine! I've been going to their website every day here at work, and looking at all these children that need homes. I look at those kids and it actually makes me cry. (My husband, by the way, does not cry very easily!) We can't help them all, but we could adopt one of them!"
I definitely surprised him by responding, "OK."
Now he was the one caught off guard! He asked, "Don't you at least want to pray about it? It is a pretty big decision to adopt a child!"
And, I said, "Nope, I already want to adopt. You know that. I have since I was a little girl. And, now that you want to also, the timing must be right. Let's do it!"
Jeremy told me later, as we went further down the adoption road, that he never had realized just how much I wanted to adopt a child. It truly was my heart's desire, and now that he wanted to as well, I was happy to tell anyone that would listen how excited I was to adopt a child that needed a home! I didn't mention it a lot to him in the early years of our marriage because I never wanted to put pressure on him. I really wanted it to be the Lord's timing when we did it, and I know that a wife can have a big influence on her husband, so I didn't want to influence him to adopt at the wrong time (even though I really wanted to do it right then!). No, it is always better to wait on the Lord's timing for things, so I guess that is why he never really knew how much I wanted to adopt until that day when he called me from work telling me that he wanted one of those precious children!
So, it was either later that week or the next week that we started the adoption process! Praise the Lord! He is so good, and I am so thankful! Of course, there's a lot more to this story that I will have to continue in another post! :) Love and blessings to you all!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
My First Week
School has started! I am back at college after being out for twenty years. I must say, it is so different and so much the same. And, I'm enjoying it.
Computer Class: Before my first class had even started on Monday morning, the guy sitting three seats down from me asked me how old I was. Now, I'm definitely a mother, and the first thing I felt like telling him was, "That is a rude question, so remember not to ask people that in the future, unless they are your close friends." I was not offended, but I do feel like this is something he needs to know. However, since I am not his mom (and yes, I realize that I could be his mom, since every student in that class appeared to be under the age of 20 except for me), I did not respond that way. I simply told him I was forty. My witty and clever husband told me I should have said, "I'm 40. How much do you weigh?" He always thinks of the good things to say! :) And, another note I must add, this same young man helped me answer a question on our group quiz on Friday, so he has redeemed himself a little in my eyes at this point! :)
Parking: On Monday parking was pretty uneventful for me, and I didn't think too much about it. However, on Tuesday, after dropping Denise and Derek off at school at the earliest possible time and driving the hour drive to campus, I only had twenty minutes to spare until class began. This is when I quickly learned, much to my sadness, that Denise and Derek are going to have to ride the bus on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess a lot of students like to take classes on those days, and parking was a nightmare. I drove into the first parking lot, then the second, and then the third, where I actually got stuck behind five other cars. There were hundreds of cars (OK, that could be a bit of an exaggeration, but there were a lot of cars!), and there were absolutely no parking spots! I finally decided to go to the 4 story parking garage where I had parked on Monday, and thankfully there was a spot in there. However, by this time my class had already started, and that parking lot is about a mile away from my class! Yep, I was 15 minutes late to class on my first day, and I really don't like to be late!
Backpacks: So, I quickly learned that Tuesday morning that carrying 20 pounds of books on my back all over campus is not for this chick! Nope, I am way too old and tired to carry that much for miles on end! Truthfully, all you mommies out there, it makes taking three babies to the grocery store seem like a piece of cake! An enjoyable, delightful piece of double chocolate cake! By the end of Tuesday, my shoulders ached and I realized that I would have to do something different. This backpack-thing was not going to work out for me! Yes, I am one smart cookie (Maybe I am feeling hungry for desserts or something!), and a light bulb went off inside my head. A backpack on wheels! I remembered that long ago Jeremy had gotten Daniel a light-up orange and camouflage backpack that is on wheels. You guessed it! As soon as I got home on Tuesday night I found that thing and loaded it up with my books. I now wheel my 20 pounds of books around campus with that backpack, and I truly don't care if I look silly! :) I know, all those cool college kids carry their books on their backs, but I think I really am the smart one. And, my shoulders don't ache any longer. I cannot begin to tell you how happy Daniel's backpack makes me!
The Crying: Well, Tuesday is my long day (from 9:30 a.m to 7:20 p.m.) and this first week of classes one of my Tuesday classes was cancelled because the instructor had surgery. So, I had a 2 hour and 15 minute break. What to do? I do not like to waste time in this kind of a situation, so I decided I would go sit at the Plaster Student Union and read chapter one of my Education Psychology book. Redeem the time, so to speak. That was the class I would have been in, and we had been assigned chapter one, so why not sit over there and read it? It began innocently enough, but as I got further into the chapter, I realized I may not be able to read this book in public. I had gotten to about page five, and the tears started rolling down my cheeks.
The section I was reading was titled, "Do Teachers Make a Difference?" and the book began telling stories about real situations of teachers who had made a difference. Things that may seem small to some, and yet they touched my heart in such a profound way that I found myself choked up, right there in my chair in Plaster Student Union, surrounded by college students laughing, texting and eating all around me. The first story was about a teacher who helped several students that didn't speak any English when they came into her first grade class. The second was about a 5th grade teacher who taught his very diverse class "process writing," journals, responsibility, fairness, science, social studies. Common, teacher things, and yet the methods that he used impressed me. Actually, maybe not just that, but his love for his students impressed me. I think that was it.
The third was about a teacher who helped a student with severe learning difficulties become successful, not just in her classroom, but in life in general. The next was about an advanced math teacher who showed his class how to rewrite a chapter that they thought did not make sense in their textbook. The examples continued, but I am sure that you get the idea. I kept reading, despite the tears, and then I got down to the bottom of page nine. That was when I decided I would have to quit reading this textbook in public or someone was sure to think that I had just experienced a death in my family! And, what did the bottom of page 9 say, you may wonder.
Advice a 1st-grade class of students gave their student teacher before she left :
(Remember that these are actually written by 1st-graders.)
1. Teach us as much as you can.
2. Give us homework.
3. Help us when we have problems with our work.
4. Help us do the right thing.
5. Help us make a family in school.
6. Read books to us.
7. Teach us to read.
8. Help us write about faraway places.
9. Give us lots of compliments, like "Oh, that is so beautiful."
10. Smile at us.
11. Take us for walks and on trips.
12. Respect us.
13. Help us get our education.
Yeah, pretty precious, huh? So, I closed my book and decided I was unable to read such material in the student union. It just touches my heart too much. The book did pose this question, "Does reading these examples make you nervous for beginning your teaching career?" Nervous? Are you kidding me? Actually reading those examples makes me so excited to get into a classroom with some students I can hardly contain myself!
So, going back to school after twenty years is not the easiest thing. It truly isn't. And yet, I feel as if I cannot do anything else, because this is what I have to do in order to be able to get into that classroom and teach and love on those kids. So, this is what I will do. And, I plan to learn as much as I can. And, now I have to go, because I have a lot of homework to do this weekend, and writing this blog is not getting that accomplished! Love to you all! Thanks for reading! And, one final thought, sometimes the things that are the hardest to do are the most worthwhile in the end. I am sure this is not an original thought of mine. I have probably heard it somewhere. I don't know where, but I have been thinking about it this week, and I know that in the end, going back to school will be worth it, more than worth it, for me, for my family, and for all the students that I will have the privilege of teaching.
Computer Class: Before my first class had even started on Monday morning, the guy sitting three seats down from me asked me how old I was. Now, I'm definitely a mother, and the first thing I felt like telling him was, "That is a rude question, so remember not to ask people that in the future, unless they are your close friends." I was not offended, but I do feel like this is something he needs to know. However, since I am not his mom (and yes, I realize that I could be his mom, since every student in that class appeared to be under the age of 20 except for me), I did not respond that way. I simply told him I was forty. My witty and clever husband told me I should have said, "I'm 40. How much do you weigh?" He always thinks of the good things to say! :) And, another note I must add, this same young man helped me answer a question on our group quiz on Friday, so he has redeemed himself a little in my eyes at this point! :)
Parking: On Monday parking was pretty uneventful for me, and I didn't think too much about it. However, on Tuesday, after dropping Denise and Derek off at school at the earliest possible time and driving the hour drive to campus, I only had twenty minutes to spare until class began. This is when I quickly learned, much to my sadness, that Denise and Derek are going to have to ride the bus on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess a lot of students like to take classes on those days, and parking was a nightmare. I drove into the first parking lot, then the second, and then the third, where I actually got stuck behind five other cars. There were hundreds of cars (OK, that could be a bit of an exaggeration, but there were a lot of cars!), and there were absolutely no parking spots! I finally decided to go to the 4 story parking garage where I had parked on Monday, and thankfully there was a spot in there. However, by this time my class had already started, and that parking lot is about a mile away from my class! Yep, I was 15 minutes late to class on my first day, and I really don't like to be late!
Backpacks: So, I quickly learned that Tuesday morning that carrying 20 pounds of books on my back all over campus is not for this chick! Nope, I am way too old and tired to carry that much for miles on end! Truthfully, all you mommies out there, it makes taking three babies to the grocery store seem like a piece of cake! An enjoyable, delightful piece of double chocolate cake! By the end of Tuesday, my shoulders ached and I realized that I would have to do something different. This backpack-thing was not going to work out for me! Yes, I am one smart cookie (Maybe I am feeling hungry for desserts or something!), and a light bulb went off inside my head. A backpack on wheels! I remembered that long ago Jeremy had gotten Daniel a light-up orange and camouflage backpack that is on wheels. You guessed it! As soon as I got home on Tuesday night I found that thing and loaded it up with my books. I now wheel my 20 pounds of books around campus with that backpack, and I truly don't care if I look silly! :) I know, all those cool college kids carry their books on their backs, but I think I really am the smart one. And, my shoulders don't ache any longer. I cannot begin to tell you how happy Daniel's backpack makes me!
The Crying: Well, Tuesday is my long day (from 9:30 a.m to 7:20 p.m.) and this first week of classes one of my Tuesday classes was cancelled because the instructor had surgery. So, I had a 2 hour and 15 minute break. What to do? I do not like to waste time in this kind of a situation, so I decided I would go sit at the Plaster Student Union and read chapter one of my Education Psychology book. Redeem the time, so to speak. That was the class I would have been in, and we had been assigned chapter one, so why not sit over there and read it? It began innocently enough, but as I got further into the chapter, I realized I may not be able to read this book in public. I had gotten to about page five, and the tears started rolling down my cheeks.
The section I was reading was titled, "Do Teachers Make a Difference?" and the book began telling stories about real situations of teachers who had made a difference. Things that may seem small to some, and yet they touched my heart in such a profound way that I found myself choked up, right there in my chair in Plaster Student Union, surrounded by college students laughing, texting and eating all around me. The first story was about a teacher who helped several students that didn't speak any English when they came into her first grade class. The second was about a 5th grade teacher who taught his very diverse class "process writing," journals, responsibility, fairness, science, social studies. Common, teacher things, and yet the methods that he used impressed me. Actually, maybe not just that, but his love for his students impressed me. I think that was it.
The third was about a teacher who helped a student with severe learning difficulties become successful, not just in her classroom, but in life in general. The next was about an advanced math teacher who showed his class how to rewrite a chapter that they thought did not make sense in their textbook. The examples continued, but I am sure that you get the idea. I kept reading, despite the tears, and then I got down to the bottom of page nine. That was when I decided I would have to quit reading this textbook in public or someone was sure to think that I had just experienced a death in my family! And, what did the bottom of page 9 say, you may wonder.
Advice a 1st-grade class of students gave their student teacher before she left :
(Remember that these are actually written by 1st-graders.)
1. Teach us as much as you can.
2. Give us homework.
3. Help us when we have problems with our work.
4. Help us do the right thing.
5. Help us make a family in school.
6. Read books to us.
7. Teach us to read.
8. Help us write about faraway places.
9. Give us lots of compliments, like "Oh, that is so beautiful."
10. Smile at us.
11. Take us for walks and on trips.
12. Respect us.
13. Help us get our education.
Yeah, pretty precious, huh? So, I closed my book and decided I was unable to read such material in the student union. It just touches my heart too much. The book did pose this question, "Does reading these examples make you nervous for beginning your teaching career?" Nervous? Are you kidding me? Actually reading those examples makes me so excited to get into a classroom with some students I can hardly contain myself!
So, going back to school after twenty years is not the easiest thing. It truly isn't. And yet, I feel as if I cannot do anything else, because this is what I have to do in order to be able to get into that classroom and teach and love on those kids. So, this is what I will do. And, I plan to learn as much as I can. And, now I have to go, because I have a lot of homework to do this weekend, and writing this blog is not getting that accomplished! Love to you all! Thanks for reading! And, one final thought, sometimes the things that are the hardest to do are the most worthwhile in the end. I am sure this is not an original thought of mine. I have probably heard it somewhere. I don't know where, but I have been thinking about it this week, and I know that in the end, going back to school will be worth it, more than worth it, for me, for my family, and for all the students that I will have the privilege of teaching.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Divine Protection
Diane, our 17 year old, and Daniel, our 13 year old, are on their way to Parsons, KS to visit their grandparents. All alone. All their idea. It is so sweet that they want to go visit their grandparents. However, there can be something very odd and unsettling for a parent when two of their children pull out of the driveway, alone, to head off on a road trip. It takes a lot of trust in God to raise children, but it may take even more to let them go out into the world all on their own. Good thing I trust God so much, and know that He is always looking out for my kids. Good thing that He is so worthy of that trust, and more than able to take care of my kids.
A pastor's wife I knew told me that the minute her first child was born she told the Lord, "I can't always be with her to take care of her, and even if I could, I know that You can take way better care of her than I ever could, even when I am with her. So, I'm putting her in your hands, and I know that you will take care of her each and every minute of her life." She said she did that and she decided right then and there that she would never worry about her daughter. She decided she would trust her life to the Lord, and know that He was more than big enough to take care of her. I like that. I like that a lot.
The kids heading off to Parsons reminded me of something that happened about thirteen years ago when we were on our way to Parsons from Broken Arrow, OK. There's an account in the Bible in the book of Numbers about a time when the Lord actually caused a donkey to be able to speak to his master Balaam. Balaam was upset with his donkey because the donkey wouldn't move. His donkey actually saw an angel of the Lord that Balaam didn't see blocking the way, and Balaam kept hitting his donkey. And, the Lord miraculously caused the donkey to be able to speak to Balaam and ask him why he kept hitting him. The account is in Numbers 22 if you want to read it.
Back to our story... When Daniel was a baby, Jeremy, Diane, Daniel and I all headed in our white Oldsmobile to Parsons, KS from Broken Arrow, OK for a weekend trip. We were staying with Jeremy's parents and they lived on the south side of town. I was driving and Jeremy was sleeping in the passenger seat beside me. Daniel was behind me in the back, and Diane was behind Jeremy. I decided I would take a shortcut to get to his parents' house. I had to go down a country gravel road to do it, but since his parents lived on that side of town, it would take us right to their house, saving about 15 or 20 minutes driving time. I'm all about short cuts!
So, I'm driving along on that gravel road and Jeremy is sleeping soundly beside me. Suddenly, Jeremy bolted up and said, "Stop! Train!"
I was so surprised, but I instantly just slammed on the brakes. Right then a train whooshed by in front of us about 5 feet from our car. It all happened very quickly, and we just sat there watching the train.
After my shock wore off, I began apologizing to Jeremy. "I'm so sorry, honey! I didn't even see that train." Then I started thinking about what had happened, so I added, "I thought you were asleep. How did YOU see that train coming?"
I looked at the surroundings. There were bushes and trees grown up all around the sides of the track, and there was nothing marking the train track. If I would have been guessing, I would have thought that track wasn't even used any longer. But, obviously it was, since a train was zipping by in front of us!
Jeremy said, "I was asleep, Nikki. I don't know what happened. I just sat up and said, 'Stop! Train!' but I didn't know there was a train either. I was asleep."
We thanked God for protecting us, and after the train passed by we proceeded the 15 more minutes to his parents house. About five minutes later Jeremy said, "Well, I guess if God can talk through a donkey to Balaam, he can talk through me when I'm sleeping!"
Glory to God! He supernaturally protected us that day! He's such a good Father, and He takes such good care of His children. And, He will always take good care of our children, too! I believe it! :) And, I trust Him!
A pastor's wife I knew told me that the minute her first child was born she told the Lord, "I can't always be with her to take care of her, and even if I could, I know that You can take way better care of her than I ever could, even when I am with her. So, I'm putting her in your hands, and I know that you will take care of her each and every minute of her life." She said she did that and she decided right then and there that she would never worry about her daughter. She decided she would trust her life to the Lord, and know that He was more than big enough to take care of her. I like that. I like that a lot.
The kids heading off to Parsons reminded me of something that happened about thirteen years ago when we were on our way to Parsons from Broken Arrow, OK. There's an account in the Bible in the book of Numbers about a time when the Lord actually caused a donkey to be able to speak to his master Balaam. Balaam was upset with his donkey because the donkey wouldn't move. His donkey actually saw an angel of the Lord that Balaam didn't see blocking the way, and Balaam kept hitting his donkey. And, the Lord miraculously caused the donkey to be able to speak to Balaam and ask him why he kept hitting him. The account is in Numbers 22 if you want to read it.
Back to our story... When Daniel was a baby, Jeremy, Diane, Daniel and I all headed in our white Oldsmobile to Parsons, KS from Broken Arrow, OK for a weekend trip. We were staying with Jeremy's parents and they lived on the south side of town. I was driving and Jeremy was sleeping in the passenger seat beside me. Daniel was behind me in the back, and Diane was behind Jeremy. I decided I would take a shortcut to get to his parents' house. I had to go down a country gravel road to do it, but since his parents lived on that side of town, it would take us right to their house, saving about 15 or 20 minutes driving time. I'm all about short cuts!
So, I'm driving along on that gravel road and Jeremy is sleeping soundly beside me. Suddenly, Jeremy bolted up and said, "Stop! Train!"
I was so surprised, but I instantly just slammed on the brakes. Right then a train whooshed by in front of us about 5 feet from our car. It all happened very quickly, and we just sat there watching the train.
After my shock wore off, I began apologizing to Jeremy. "I'm so sorry, honey! I didn't even see that train." Then I started thinking about what had happened, so I added, "I thought you were asleep. How did YOU see that train coming?"
I looked at the surroundings. There were bushes and trees grown up all around the sides of the track, and there was nothing marking the train track. If I would have been guessing, I would have thought that track wasn't even used any longer. But, obviously it was, since a train was zipping by in front of us!
Jeremy said, "I was asleep, Nikki. I don't know what happened. I just sat up and said, 'Stop! Train!' but I didn't know there was a train either. I was asleep."
We thanked God for protecting us, and after the train passed by we proceeded the 15 more minutes to his parents house. About five minutes later Jeremy said, "Well, I guess if God can talk through a donkey to Balaam, he can talk through me when I'm sleeping!"
Glory to God! He supernaturally protected us that day! He's such a good Father, and He takes such good care of His children. And, He will always take good care of our children, too! I believe it! :) And, I trust Him!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
How Jeremy and I Met
Jeremy and I grew up in the same small town of Parsons, KS. I lived there all my life; he moved there in third grade. We attended different elementary schools, but in middle school everyone attended the same school. We didn't know each other personally, but our school wasn't too big, so I did know of him. Something interesting did happen our sixth grade year. As a fundraiser, the student council had everyone in the school fill out a questionnaire answering various questions about themselves. They sent them into a company that matched people of the opposite sex up by their compatibility. When the results were in, we could purchase them for a dollar. Of course everyone wanted to see who they were matched up with! It listed your top ten matches. Guess who was number one on my list? A boy named (Drum-roll, please!) Jeremy Storment. That was my first introduction to Jeremy. He was number one on my list so I, of course, looked him up in our school yearbook to see who he was. I really didn't think too much else about it at the time, but isn't that something?
In high school we also didn't have any classes together, though we did have one class together our Sophomore year. But, he ran around with a different group of friends than I did, and we didn't sit by each other in that class, so we didn't really talk at all. However, we did work at the same place, Wilson Art & Frame Shop. I worked in the shop, helping the customers and doing various other things around the shop. And, Jeremy worked in the garage behind the shop making the frames. We still didn't talk though, because we didn't really see each other, even though we were there at the same time. I do remember one day Jane, the shop owner and my boss, telling me to go outside and ask Jeremy to carry some frames upstairs for me. I was organizing the frame room up there. So, I did that. I was very talkative with Jeremy, but he didn't seem too interested in talking with me (He answered every question I asked him with a one-word answer.) so nothing really came of that encounter either. He now tells me that he was too nervous to talk much to me that day, and was also too busy noticing my legs. :) Mini-skirts were popular back then, and I had one on that day.
So, about two years later, during our second semester of our Senior year, Jeremy and I actually met and started talking. We had Senior year Government class together, and I was already in the room that first day of class when he walked into class. We could sit anywhere we wanted, and I had chosen a seat over in the front corner of the room. Then I saw Jeremy walk in, and I remembered that computer dating match-up sheet from our sixth grade year. I thought to myself, "I got him as number one on my list, and here we are, seniors in high school, and I've never even gotten to know him at all. I think I'll move seats and sit in front of him."
So, I picked up my things and moved to the seat right in front of Jeremy, making an excuse about wanting to sit next to another friend of mine. However, if anyone would have been thinking about it, they would have known that wasn't really true, because that friend was sitting a row ahead of me, so the seat I chose was actually diagonal from her. Isn't high school fun? I cannot imagine putting so much thought into where I sit now, but back then it was of upmost importance! Well, I don't think anyone was thinking too much about why I was sitting where I was sitting, so it all worked out fine, better than fine actually. And, Jeremy and I became best friends from that day on. We seriously did. And, we've been best friends ever since.
I am so thankful to God for the way everything started out for us, because neither of us were really living for the Lord back then, and yet God orchestrated everything and brought us together. Another neat thing was that we just became best friends for a year. We didn't actually begin a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship until a year later. I highly recommend that, because we really got to know each other before we became romantically involved. Our relationship was founded on a very solid friendship, and I know that has made a big difference our entire marriage. He truly is my best friend and the love of my life! Happy 19th Anniversary, Jeremy! I love you! The computer match-up list from sixth grade was right! You are my number one! :)
In high school we also didn't have any classes together, though we did have one class together our Sophomore year. But, he ran around with a different group of friends than I did, and we didn't sit by each other in that class, so we didn't really talk at all. However, we did work at the same place, Wilson Art & Frame Shop. I worked in the shop, helping the customers and doing various other things around the shop. And, Jeremy worked in the garage behind the shop making the frames. We still didn't talk though, because we didn't really see each other, even though we were there at the same time. I do remember one day Jane, the shop owner and my boss, telling me to go outside and ask Jeremy to carry some frames upstairs for me. I was organizing the frame room up there. So, I did that. I was very talkative with Jeremy, but he didn't seem too interested in talking with me (He answered every question I asked him with a one-word answer.) so nothing really came of that encounter either. He now tells me that he was too nervous to talk much to me that day, and was also too busy noticing my legs. :) Mini-skirts were popular back then, and I had one on that day.
So, about two years later, during our second semester of our Senior year, Jeremy and I actually met and started talking. We had Senior year Government class together, and I was already in the room that first day of class when he walked into class. We could sit anywhere we wanted, and I had chosen a seat over in the front corner of the room. Then I saw Jeremy walk in, and I remembered that computer dating match-up sheet from our sixth grade year. I thought to myself, "I got him as number one on my list, and here we are, seniors in high school, and I've never even gotten to know him at all. I think I'll move seats and sit in front of him."
So, I picked up my things and moved to the seat right in front of Jeremy, making an excuse about wanting to sit next to another friend of mine. However, if anyone would have been thinking about it, they would have known that wasn't really true, because that friend was sitting a row ahead of me, so the seat I chose was actually diagonal from her. Isn't high school fun? I cannot imagine putting so much thought into where I sit now, but back then it was of upmost importance! Well, I don't think anyone was thinking too much about why I was sitting where I was sitting, so it all worked out fine, better than fine actually. And, Jeremy and I became best friends from that day on. We seriously did. And, we've been best friends ever since.
I am so thankful to God for the way everything started out for us, because neither of us were really living for the Lord back then, and yet God orchestrated everything and brought us together. Another neat thing was that we just became best friends for a year. We didn't actually begin a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship until a year later. I highly recommend that, because we really got to know each other before we became romantically involved. Our relationship was founded on a very solid friendship, and I know that has made a big difference our entire marriage. He truly is my best friend and the love of my life! Happy 19th Anniversary, Jeremy! I love you! The computer match-up list from sixth grade was right! You are my number one! :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
AFTER Denise's Birth, Part 2
Now, my doctor had been out of town on vacation when all that happened. Soon after I had given birth, he had gone on vacation. Even that had been a blessing from God, because I hadn't been able to go see him since he was gone. Soon after this though, his office called and said they had gotten the test results back from that 24 hour urine sample that I had done, and that there were some abnormalities with some of the numbers. They said I needed to go see a kidney specialist, and they gave me the number of one that my doctor recommended.
I did not mention all that I had been through the past three weeks, and I don't remember if I even thought it was related. I don't think I did. I had never had any kidney problems, except for passing a kidney stone. I just called the doctor and made an appointment. It takes a while to get into a kidney specialist like that, or so I found out, so my appointment was a while away. I think about a couple of months. I can't quite remember. I really wasn't thinking that much about it. I felt completely and totally fine, so I was just busy taking care of my family and doing my usual things.
So a couple of months later I went to see the kidney specialist. I walked into the exam room and sat down in the chair. He came in and looked at me. I soon learned that he was a very blunt doctor. He looked me up and down, and then he looked at the 24 hour urine test results that my doctor had sent over to him. And, then he said, much to my surprise, "What the h*** is going on with these test results?"
I was so shocked by that. I didn't know how to respond, so I said, "I don't know." I thought he was going to tell me. I thought that last part, I didn't say it out loud.
Then he said, "These test results are bogus!"
He looked at me again and said, almost angrily, "Have you been on dialysis?" I told him I had never been on dialysis.
Then he asked me, "Did you walk in here today?"
I told him that I had.
"Do you have any pain?"
I told him that I did not.
Then he leaned forward in his chair, looked straight at me and said, "These test results cannot be correct, because if they were and you weren't on dialysis, you would be dead." He further explained, "According to these test results your kidneys are functioning at 11%, and if that is the case and you aren't on dialysis, you would be dead."
I just sat there, stunned.
He then said that he was going to have me do another 24 hour urine sample test and we were going to get to the bottom of this. I left his office with instructions on how to do this and where to go to drop off my sample. He was very particular about everything, very detailed, and he said he was positive they had messed up on my test results from that July 27th test.
I walked out of his office, went down to my car, got into it and just sat there, dumb founded. I was very shaken up by what the doctor had just told me. I did not think the test results were wrong. Those three weeks that I had been sick, I thought that I had bladder, bowel and kidney infections, but in reality those had just been the symptoms of what had really been happening. My kidneys hadn't been functioning. And, according to those test results, I should have died. I remembered back to how I had told Jeremy that very first day that I felt like I was dying, the pain was so bad.
Well, I drove home and told Jeremy what the doctor said. He was so excited, and kept saying, "Praise the Lord!" I mean, he was excited! Interestingly enough, I was the opposite of him. I mean, I was thankful, but I was also very somber about what I had just heard. I could hardly believe it. I tried to explain it to Jeremy. I told him it may seem strange, but now that I knew I hadn't been sick with just infections, but actual kidney failure, or so it seemed, I felt kind of scared.
Isn't God just so good? I mean, if my doctor had been in town for those first two weeks when those test results originally came back, I probably would have found out what was really going on in my body. If it hadn't happened on a Saturday, I would have gone to my regular doctor's office and seen a different doctor, but nonetheless they still would have had those results in their hands. At the emergency room, they did not, so they just chalked it up to several infections and put me on antibiotics.
God is God! He can heal kidneys, or give you brand new ones (like the eagle from Psalm 103) just as easily as He can heal infections. That is so true! But, in my mind, it would have seemed bigger and harder. In my mind, I would have been scared! How do I know this? I know this because even though I had been feeling completely fine for a couple of months before I had that doctor appointment with the kidney specialist, it still scared me when he just told me what those test results meant! You see what I mean? Glory to God! He protected me from even knowing what was really going on!
Several months later I talked to a friend of mine. She went to our church, and her husband had been on a waiting list for a kidney transplant for a long time. She called me one day for something else, but since my ordeal, I felt so much compassion for all that they were dealing with. So, I asked how he was doing, and I began sharing some of my story, and she began sharing theirs. She told me, "I've never been nervous about him dying though." She went on to explain, "With kidney failure, right before the end, right before you die, everything begins to taste like metal. And, that has never happened to him."
Once again I was stunned. I didn't say anything to her, but of course I immediately remembered how I hadn't even been able to drink water, my usual drink, because everything tasted like metal those couple of weeks when I was so sick! Wow!
For several years after that ordeal, if I ever shared this account with anyone, I would jokingly say, "If Jeremy had gone back to work one week earlier, I would have been healed one week earlier!" I truly believed that, because when he went back to work, I had to take care of Denise. However, one day the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "That's not true, Nikki."
"What?" I questioned Him.
"That's not true. You weren't just laying in bed sick all that time. You were listening and meditating on my Word and on healing scriptures. You heard my Words on healing over and over again."
I thought about that, and I thought about how the Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing and hearing (etc) the Word of God! I had never thought about that before, but if Jeremy had gone back to work one week earlier, I might not have stood up that day and boldly proclaimed that I was healed, regardless of how I felt. No, according to what the Lord was speaking to me, I probably would have called him and told him he needed to come back home because I was in so much pain!
God is so good! And, I am so thankful. When I remember this story, it almost doesn't seem real. I have been in church services where the person ministering has said, "If you wouldn't be alive today without God's supernatural healing touch, raise your hand." I raise my hand, but it still amazes me to this day that I really was that sick.
Oh, and you may be wondering how that second urine test came back. Well, it came back that my kidneys were operating at 65%. Not perfect, but a whole lot better! Jeremy and I weren't satisfied with those results though. Jeremy said, "No, we won't be happy until your kidneys are functioning at 100%! God will do better than that!"
Three months later that kidney specialist had me do another 24 hour urine test. This time it came back that my kidneys were operating at 97%! That sounds good, but when he told me that my heart sank a bit, because I knew it wasn't what Jeremy and I had asked God for. But, then the doctor looked at me and said, "For someone your height and weight, that is 100%!" I haven't been back to a kidney specialist since that day! Glory to God! He's so good, and I give Him all the glory and all the praise!
There is a song that I really like called "Our God is Greater." I am not sure who wrote it, but I like the version that Chris Tomlin sings. Anyway, the words seem really fitting to me in this situation: "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God, You are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God!" Yep, that's our God! Greater. Stronger. Higher. Healer. No matter what you may be going through today, just remember this, HE'S GREATER!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)