"Find out what God wants you to do and do that."
It is easy to say. But, it takes trust to actually do. Trust in God, really. So, God had made it pretty clear to us that He wanted us to send Diane to a private Christian school, even though there seemed to be a perfectly fine public school a few blocks from our house. And, from the outside, the public school looked so much nicer, and offered a huge benefit that the private school did not. It was completely free.
But, when you're following God, money can not be your deciding factor on things. No, the only thing that can be your deciding factor is what God wants you to do, whether it seems like a financially wise idea or not. God always knows best, and He always has your best interest at heart. It's true. I feel a side note coming...
Soon after I got filled with the Holy Spirit and started living for God, I spent a lot of time visiting Christian bookstores. I mean, I wanted to go into every Christian bookstore that I could find to see all the gems they had. I was so hungry to know God even more. I "happened" to go into the Christian bookstore in my hometown of Parsons, KS, and I "happened" to buy this little 2x3 inch card that had Jeremiah 29:11 written on it. Now, I know that is a very popular verse, and people quote it often. It is such a wonderful, wonderful promise from God!
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Wow! Well, I bought that little card. I think it was a dollar, and it may have been the best dollar I have ever spent. I put that card in my little light blue Chevy Spectrum, right in front of the steering wheel. You know, that plastic "window" where you can see your speed and how much gas you have left. I set that card right there. And, every time I got in my car, I read that card out loud. And, as I was driving here and there around town, I would say that scripture. I would say, "For God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me, and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11" I have no idea how many times I spoke those words out loud, but it was at least hundreds.
And, that verse got inside of me. I mean, it truly changed me from the inside out. No can ever convince me that God doesn't have a good plan for me and for my life. No one can ever convince me that God doesn't love me, and want wonderful things for me. Why? Because that verse has gotten so rooted into my heart nothing can take it out. And, I didn't realize it at the time, but it helped me so much when a few short months later He started talking with Jeremy and me about attending Bible School. Because when you believe Jeremiah 29:11, you have absolutely no problem obeying the Lord. It can still be hard to do what God wants you to do, but you are so convinced that what He wants you to do is best, you wouldn't dream of not doing it!
Yes, God had a lot of wisdom having me meditate and read that verse over and over again. It's still in me today. I only want to do what He wants me to do. I only want to be where He wants me to be. I haven't followed Him perfectly over these last 20 years, but God knows my heart, and I have truly endeavored to follow Him always.
OK, end of side note! :) So yes, the private Christian school was not free. Interestingly enough, it was the same cost as Jeremy and my tuition had been at Rhema Bible Training Center. This would cause my mind to go tilt. I would think, "She could be going to Bible School for the same cost as we're going to be paying for her to go to kindergarten!" Little did we know in a few short years we would be paying for three kids' tuition at that very school. And, something funny about that was that Olathe Christian School actually had a deal that if you pay for three kids' tuition your fourth one is free. Only we didn't have a fourth one to enroll! That can definitely be a hard blow for a bargain-hunter like me. It didn't bother Jeremy one bit, and he would laugh when I would say, "But, if we just had one more child enrolled there, they could go free!" Ha!
So, Diane's first year of school we decided that I would get a job at Walmart as a cashier to pay for her schooling. I worked 16 hours a week, and soon after starting they moved me over to the service desk. I really enjoyed working the service desk. And, I got wonderful opportunities to share about the Lord while I was working there. But, it was pretty hard for Jeremy and me to do in the beginning...
At the time we went to a church where most of the husbands worked and the wives stayed home with the kids. Have you ever noticed that different churches have different ideas about things? I don't mean that badly, I just mean that some churches may have a lot of stay-at-home moms, whereas at another church a lot of the moms have careers. We were at the stay-at-home mom church. And, to be quite honest, I kind of had the idea that it was best for the husband to work and the wife to stay home with the kids also. I wondered if this idea could really be from the Lord. Should I really get a job to pay for Diane to go to kindergarten?
Around this same time, I was reading the Bible, not really thinking about the whole work thing. And, praise the Lord, He spoke to my heart. He said, "Have you ever noticed that the Proverbs 31 woman worked outside of the home?" The Proverbs 31 woman. Aw, yes. That wonderful passage of scripture that
Christian women read, sometimes with much trepidation, wondering how
they could ever live up to this woman that the Bible calls "The Virtuous
Woman."
I certainly had not noticed that, and I didn't even think it was true. "Could that possibly be true?" I questioned the Lord. He responded, "Look for yourself."
So, I flipped through my Bible to Proverbs 31 and began reading. I started in verse 10, where it begins talking about this Godly woman. And, sure enough, I got down to verse 16 and noticed that it said, "...out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard." At this point the Lord questioned me, saying, "Out of whose earnings?" And I responded, "Hers!" I was so amazed!
I continued reading and got down to verse 24 and saw that it said, "She makes linen garments and sells them..." Wow! She had her own clothing business! At this point, she became even more impressive to me than she already had been! She seemed to be able to do so much, and she was graced to do it all. And, I got such a peace in my heart. And, I knew if it was what God wanted me to do, God would grace me too! Yes, the Lord did want me to get a job to pay for Diane's kindergarten year.
Why did I share all this? I think it is because sometimes the Lord wants you to do something, and it might not really be the "popular" thing to do, even among your closest friends. I think that could be when it's hardest to do what He wants you to do, because you think that your closest friends would surely agree with you. But, it's always a good idea to follow Him, no matter what. Oh, He's so good and so wonderful, and you can never go wrong following His leading! Because, just like Jeremiah 29:11 was written to ME, it was also written to YOU! So, I worked at Walmart for almost exactly a year, and we used my earnings to pay for Diane's tuition.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Olathe Christian School
Diane was four when we moved to Olathe, KS that summer of 1999, and she started preschool that fall. Towards the end of preschool, we began thinking about her starting Kindergarten. There was an elementary school not far from our house, and we assumed that Diane would be going there to school. However, as it got closer to school starting, we began sensing that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to a private Christian school, not a public school. We kept thinking about it, so we decided to see if there were even any Christian schools in Olathe.
Meanwhile, the elementary school near our home had a Kindergarten Round-up. All the new kindergartners got to come to the school, meet different teachers and see one of the kindergarten classrooms. I decided I would take Diane since we weren't sure if she would be attending that school, or a Christian school. "It won't hurt to go look at the public school," I reasonably thought.
So, she and I went to the open house, and the school was beautiful. The classroom we got to see was perfect. It looked like it would be so much fun for five year olds! It even had a reading loft in the corner of the room. Of course, Diane was very excited seeing that classroom. And, all the kids got to plant seeds that afternoon, which was also lots of fun! Diane left that open house with a bag full of all kinds of goodies, and her newly planted seed that we were going to watch grow! She could hardly wait for school to start!
Well, I also had found a Christian school in the area, Olathe Christian School, and it wasn't too far from our house. So, we set up an appointment to go visit that school, and we went there soon after our visit to the open house at the public school. Jeremy, Diane and I met the director of the school, and he walked us around the building. The school was actually in a church, and the classrooms were small and not very exciting. But, he told us about the curriculum the school used, how the school had been founded, how they prayed before they ate lunch. It was very impressive from that standpoint, but not too impressive to look at. I could sense the love of God at that school though, which I really liked. As we were leaving, the director turned to Diane, almost as an afterthought, and told her they had just done a fund-raiser for the school selling sports bottles that said Olathe Christian School on them. They had some left, and he handed her one of them to keep. She politely said, "Thank you." As I was looking at that plastic bottle though, I was thinking about all the fun and exciting things the public school had given her, and how she probably really wasn't too excited about that cup.
I was feeling pretty convinced that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to Olathe Christian School, and I was really wishing that I hadn't even taken her to the public school's open house. It was just so nice and fun-looking at that school, and Olathe Christian School didn't even compare with it externally. I prayed that I hadn't made a mistake, and that the Lord would help Diane if we did decide to send her to Olathe Christian School. I was pretty sure that was the school she would be attending!
Now remember, Diane was only five years old. What five year old would choose a boring classroom over a fun and exciting one where she got to plant seeds? So, when she came into my room about a week later and told me that she knew what school God wanted her to go to, I was pretty skeptical about what she was going to say. I will never forget this moment. My adorable little five year old stood before me and said, "I've been talking to God about what school I'm supposed to go to, and He told me where He wants me to go."
"What did He say?" I asked.
"Do you know that story in the Bible about the lady that put a penny in the offering at her church?" Diane asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"Well," she said, in her cute, little five year old voice, "she put that penny in the offering and Jesus said that she gave more than anyone else even though it was only a penny. She gave all that she had."
"True," I responded.
"I think God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School. When we visited the other school, they gave me a lot of fun things, and I got to plant a seed. And, when we went to Olathe Christian School, they gave me that cup," she said, "But really, Olathe Christian School gave me more because I think the other school has a lot more than they do. Yeah, God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School."
Wow! If it wasn't settled in Jeremy and my hearts before that, it sure was then. So, we enrolled Diane at Olathe Christian School, and thus her school years began! And, we never regretted it one bit. Because although Olathe Christian School didn't have much from a financial standpoint, they had lots from a spiritual and educational standpoint. They didn't have top of the line computers, but they did have top of the line curriculum. They didn't have lots of nice, new toys for the kids to play with, but they did have teachers that loved and prayed for and with their students each and every day. And, that is what really matters, what is on the inside, not just what things look like on the outside.
Meanwhile, the elementary school near our home had a Kindergarten Round-up. All the new kindergartners got to come to the school, meet different teachers and see one of the kindergarten classrooms. I decided I would take Diane since we weren't sure if she would be attending that school, or a Christian school. "It won't hurt to go look at the public school," I reasonably thought.
So, she and I went to the open house, and the school was beautiful. The classroom we got to see was perfect. It looked like it would be so much fun for five year olds! It even had a reading loft in the corner of the room. Of course, Diane was very excited seeing that classroom. And, all the kids got to plant seeds that afternoon, which was also lots of fun! Diane left that open house with a bag full of all kinds of goodies, and her newly planted seed that we were going to watch grow! She could hardly wait for school to start!
Well, I also had found a Christian school in the area, Olathe Christian School, and it wasn't too far from our house. So, we set up an appointment to go visit that school, and we went there soon after our visit to the open house at the public school. Jeremy, Diane and I met the director of the school, and he walked us around the building. The school was actually in a church, and the classrooms were small and not very exciting. But, he told us about the curriculum the school used, how the school had been founded, how they prayed before they ate lunch. It was very impressive from that standpoint, but not too impressive to look at. I could sense the love of God at that school though, which I really liked. As we were leaving, the director turned to Diane, almost as an afterthought, and told her they had just done a fund-raiser for the school selling sports bottles that said Olathe Christian School on them. They had some left, and he handed her one of them to keep. She politely said, "Thank you." As I was looking at that plastic bottle though, I was thinking about all the fun and exciting things the public school had given her, and how she probably really wasn't too excited about that cup.
I was feeling pretty convinced that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to Olathe Christian School, and I was really wishing that I hadn't even taken her to the public school's open house. It was just so nice and fun-looking at that school, and Olathe Christian School didn't even compare with it externally. I prayed that I hadn't made a mistake, and that the Lord would help Diane if we did decide to send her to Olathe Christian School. I was pretty sure that was the school she would be attending!
Now remember, Diane was only five years old. What five year old would choose a boring classroom over a fun and exciting one where she got to plant seeds? So, when she came into my room about a week later and told me that she knew what school God wanted her to go to, I was pretty skeptical about what she was going to say. I will never forget this moment. My adorable little five year old stood before me and said, "I've been talking to God about what school I'm supposed to go to, and He told me where He wants me to go."
"What did He say?" I asked.
"Do you know that story in the Bible about the lady that put a penny in the offering at her church?" Diane asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"Well," she said, in her cute, little five year old voice, "she put that penny in the offering and Jesus said that she gave more than anyone else even though it was only a penny. She gave all that she had."
"True," I responded.
"I think God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School. When we visited the other school, they gave me a lot of fun things, and I got to plant a seed. And, when we went to Olathe Christian School, they gave me that cup," she said, "But really, Olathe Christian School gave me more because I think the other school has a lot more than they do. Yeah, God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School."
Wow! If it wasn't settled in Jeremy and my hearts before that, it sure was then. So, we enrolled Diane at Olathe Christian School, and thus her school years began! And, we never regretted it one bit. Because although Olathe Christian School didn't have much from a financial standpoint, they had lots from a spiritual and educational standpoint. They didn't have top of the line computers, but they did have top of the line curriculum. They didn't have lots of nice, new toys for the kids to play with, but they did have teachers that loved and prayed for and with their students each and every day. And, that is what really matters, what is on the inside, not just what things look like on the outside.
Monday, June 18, 2012
The Words of my Daddy
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" I don't know if you remember this little chant, but when I was growing up, kids used to say this to each other often. I remember saying it, and having it said to me. And, it was always in the midst of some fight or disagreement. Yes, in my childhood we said it a lot growing up, but is true?
As I think back, I see there were key moments in my life when people spoke things to me that changed me and changed my life. I imagine those people didn't even realize it at the time, but what they said impacted me so much that it changed the direction and course of my life forever. I am sure if you think back, you could say the same thing. Because yesterday was Father's Day, I was thinking about my dad. I am sure he doesn't even remember this, though maybe he does. And, I've never told him this, though I've shared it with numerous other people.
I was probably four years old, or maybe three, at the time. I don't remember much from when I was that age, but I do remember this. My daddy was tucking me into bed one night. Now, I always slept with a lot of stuffed animals. My daddy always teased me and said that he couldn't find me in the bed with all those stuffed animals. He'd give one of the animals a kiss, pretending that he thought it was me. He'd do that over and over again, and I would just laugh and laugh, because he couldn't find me anywhere in my little twin bed with all those animals.
Well, this night after going through that little routine, he said it was time to say my prayers. My prayers went something like, "God bless this person" and "God bless that person," which was also our routine. But, this night my dad told me something different. I think I said something about not knowing what to pray when I prayed to God, and he said, "Nikki, you can tell God anything you want. He loves it when you talk to Him about anything. You can just talk to Him just like you are talking to me, and tell Him just what you would tell me."
Now, that seems like a small thing, but actually it was huge. Everyone has a perception of God. Everyone has a way that they view Him, rather they are right about that or not. And, the way that you view God matters so much. Do you think He is a good and loving God who cares deeply and intimately about you, or do you think that He is a cold and hard God, who is ready to punish you if you make one wrong move? I think the first thing about the God I serve and love, and one really big reason was from my daddy telling me that when I was such a small little girl. You know, little girls believe everything their daddies tell them, and I was no exception to that rule.
It changed me. It changed how I interacted with God then and throughout my whole life, because all of sudden that night I had a view of God the Father. A Father who cared about every little detail of my life, and wanted me to share all my thoughts, hopes and dreams with Him. Abba Father (Daddy-God). The Bible calls Him that, but lots of people have never viewed God as a loving Daddy who wants them to run and sit on His lap and tell them about their day. But, from that moment on, that is exactly how I viewed God, as a Heavenly Father full of love, compassion and care for me.
I am so thankful that my dad spoke those words to me that night. From that point on, I talked to God just like I would talk to my best friend. I didn't really know Him, and I hadn't accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior (didn't even know that I could do that). I never heard Him speak back to me throughout my years growing up, but I would sense His presence. And, what I did know from what my daddy had told me was that God cared about me and wanted me to talk with Him.
Words. They matter. What you say to someone matters. What you say about yourself matters. There are numerous places in the Bible where it talks about the power that is in our words. Power in our words? What? In Proverbs it even says that the power of life and death is in the tongue, meaning in what we say. I think most people don't really think their words amount to much, that it really doesn't matter what they say or don't say. Yet, according to the Bible, the opposite is true. What you say matters so much that it affects life and death. That's pretty amazing!
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! There is no other dad I would rather have than you! I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your daughter, and I'm so thankful you spoke those words into my life so many years ago (Hmmm, what would it be? Thirty-six or 37 years ago now, and yet I still remember that moment and those words.). You set a correct view of God for me that night (and I have shared that story numerous times when sharing about the love of God to other people), and for that I am forever grateful! Love you bunches!
As I think back, I see there were key moments in my life when people spoke things to me that changed me and changed my life. I imagine those people didn't even realize it at the time, but what they said impacted me so much that it changed the direction and course of my life forever. I am sure if you think back, you could say the same thing. Because yesterday was Father's Day, I was thinking about my dad. I am sure he doesn't even remember this, though maybe he does. And, I've never told him this, though I've shared it with numerous other people.
I was probably four years old, or maybe three, at the time. I don't remember much from when I was that age, but I do remember this. My daddy was tucking me into bed one night. Now, I always slept with a lot of stuffed animals. My daddy always teased me and said that he couldn't find me in the bed with all those stuffed animals. He'd give one of the animals a kiss, pretending that he thought it was me. He'd do that over and over again, and I would just laugh and laugh, because he couldn't find me anywhere in my little twin bed with all those animals.
Well, this night after going through that little routine, he said it was time to say my prayers. My prayers went something like, "God bless this person" and "God bless that person," which was also our routine. But, this night my dad told me something different. I think I said something about not knowing what to pray when I prayed to God, and he said, "Nikki, you can tell God anything you want. He loves it when you talk to Him about anything. You can just talk to Him just like you are talking to me, and tell Him just what you would tell me."
Now, that seems like a small thing, but actually it was huge. Everyone has a perception of God. Everyone has a way that they view Him, rather they are right about that or not. And, the way that you view God matters so much. Do you think He is a good and loving God who cares deeply and intimately about you, or do you think that He is a cold and hard God, who is ready to punish you if you make one wrong move? I think the first thing about the God I serve and love, and one really big reason was from my daddy telling me that when I was such a small little girl. You know, little girls believe everything their daddies tell them, and I was no exception to that rule.
It changed me. It changed how I interacted with God then and throughout my whole life, because all of sudden that night I had a view of God the Father. A Father who cared about every little detail of my life, and wanted me to share all my thoughts, hopes and dreams with Him. Abba Father (Daddy-God). The Bible calls Him that, but lots of people have never viewed God as a loving Daddy who wants them to run and sit on His lap and tell them about their day. But, from that moment on, that is exactly how I viewed God, as a Heavenly Father full of love, compassion and care for me.
I am so thankful that my dad spoke those words to me that night. From that point on, I talked to God just like I would talk to my best friend. I didn't really know Him, and I hadn't accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior (didn't even know that I could do that). I never heard Him speak back to me throughout my years growing up, but I would sense His presence. And, what I did know from what my daddy had told me was that God cared about me and wanted me to talk with Him.
Words. They matter. What you say to someone matters. What you say about yourself matters. There are numerous places in the Bible where it talks about the power that is in our words. Power in our words? What? In Proverbs it even says that the power of life and death is in the tongue, meaning in what we say. I think most people don't really think their words amount to much, that it really doesn't matter what they say or don't say. Yet, according to the Bible, the opposite is true. What you say matters so much that it affects life and death. That's pretty amazing!
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! There is no other dad I would rather have than you! I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your daughter, and I'm so thankful you spoke those words into my life so many years ago (Hmmm, what would it be? Thirty-six or 37 years ago now, and yet I still remember that moment and those words.). You set a correct view of God for me that night (and I have shared that story numerous times when sharing about the love of God to other people), and for that I am forever grateful! Love you bunches!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Wrong House
On that note, from my previous "Job Offer" post, it is always good to find out what God wants you to do and do that. Oh yes, that is the best way to live! And, God had amazingly led us to the first house we bought. He truly had. I mean, we only looked at ONE house in Broken Arrow, and that was the one. Then the Lord supernaturally brought in the money to buy that house, and we did. It was all very smooth and easy. Well, I guess besides move-in day, when the other owners hadn't started moving out yet! Ha, ha! But, really, it had been smooth and easy.
So, we were pretty naive to the actual process of buying a home. We were also pretty naive about the Kansas City area. And, Jeremy was living in a hotel in Lenexa, KS throughout the week. I was at home with a new baby and a four-year old. And, I was pregnant (Another story for another time!)! So, we were ready to be settled in the Kansas City area. The one thing we were very sure about was Olathe, KS. We knew we were supposed to move to Olathe, so we did have that direction from the Lord.
Now, when we had bought the home in Broken Arrow, it was move-in ready. Do you know what I mean? We didn't have to do one thing to that house. It was just ready to move on in. And, we liked that quite a bit. So, WE decided (and I do mean we, and not the Lord) we should find a house just like that in Olathe, KS, a house that was move-in ready. I cannot even remember how many houses we looked at, and we really didn't like any of them that much.
We looked at one house that was definitely not move-in ready, but we liked the floor plan of that house so much. I still remember that floor plan, and it was perfect! But, it needed a new air conditioning and heating unit. It needed siding. And, it needed carpet. Other than that, it was in pretty good shape, but the thought of a house needing all that work intimidated Jeremy and me. So, every time we would think about that house, which was often, we would go through our list of negatives about that house, and decide we definitely wouldn't buy that one. Even though we liked it. Even though the neighborhood was perfect. Even though, if we had been listening to the Lord, we would have.
No, instead we bought a different house that was about a mile away from the other one. The house we bought was move-in ready, just like we wanted. But, I didn't like the floor plan at all. And, it only had three bedrooms, which I also didn't like. And, it had a huge backyard, which we didn't like either (Jeremy doesn't really like mowing, and we didn't want to spend the time that lawn would require.).
There were a lot of positive things about it. It was pretty, large kitchen, nice neighborhood, finished half-basement. So, I guess if you're going to miss the house God has for you, at least it's good to end up with a nice house. Ha! I'm just kidding about that, because really I think it's best to wait until you know what God has for you to do and do that. But, thank God that His Word says that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. God is so merciful, so kind, so full of compassion. And, you know what, He blessed us in that house in spite of everything! That's how good He is! But, I have often wondered what would have happened if we had lived in the other house, the one we should have bought.
This reminds me of another story, and these two definitely relate, so I think I'll share it. Now, Jeremy and I are firmly established in the belief that our God is a God of increase! He is a Blesser, a Rewarder, and He likes to give His children good and wonderful things! So, at the time of this second story, we lived in the above-mentioned house, aka "the wrong house," and we had lived there for several years. I always knew we wouldn't be staying in that house forever, and really I was always ready to move out of it, because I didn't really like it. Now, I was very, very thankful for it, and I never complained about it. I just knew if wasn't "our house." It never had been, and it never would be. But, nonetheless, we lived there for several years, and lots of good and wonderful things happened there, so I'm thankful. God taught us a lot from that mistake, because we learned how to listen to Him better the next time. And, the time after that. And, the time after that. And, well, you get the picture.
Anyway, back to the story. I was driving in a pretty rough area in Olathe. I wouldn't normally have been in this area, but I had an errand there, so I was. And, the houses weren't too nice and it just looked rough. I was alone in our van (a rare thing at this point in my life), and I was just driving through this neighborhood back to a main road. And, there was a house for sale on the corner of this street in this neighborhood. And, the Lord spoke to my heart, not out loud, but it was very clear.
"If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"
Now, you might think my immediate answer would be "yes," because of course Jeremy and my main motto in life is to find out what God wants us to do and do that, but I was very hesitant when He said this. First of all, my mind went a little bit tilt when He spoke that to my heart because in my mind, God is a God of increase, and how in the world would that house be increase from our current house? I mean, this was a rough, run-down neighborhood. True, the house that was for sale looked like the nicest one on the block, but that wasn't saying much. So, my mind went tilt, meaning it was hard for me to accept that the Lord would ever want us to live in such a house and neighborhood, when I know what a good and wonderful God I serve.
Second of all, the Lord has spoken to me like this before, so I knew full well that if I said "yes" His response might be "OK then. Sell your home and buy this one" or something like that. And, I was seriously thinking about what I would do if He said that. Would I buy and live in that house, in this neighborhood? Would I like having my kids live in this neighborhood? Oh my!
As I was thinking all of this, the question came again. "If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"
And, I said something like, "But Lord, You're a God of increase, and I don't see any way that this house could possibly be increase for us. It doesn't seem like you would want us to buy this house. The house we live in now is so much nicer than that house, and in such a better neighborhood." You see, it didn't fit my mold or view of how I thought God was at this point, and it was hard for me to comprehend the fact that God would ever want us to buy that house and move there.
"I know," He responded, "But, if you were sure that I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?
I thought for a minute, and said, "Yes, Lord, if I was sure that you wanted us to buy that house and move there, I would do it. I would do it in a heartbeat." And, I truly meant that.
I had a feeling that at this point, He may say, "That is exactly what I want you to do" so I braced myself. I also wondered what Jeremy would think about all of this! My, this was turning out to be quite an interesting day. But, His response changed my thinking forever.
He said, "What if I knew that there was a person in this neighborhood that would only come to know Me if you and your family moved there?"
That, my friend, is definitely increase! Tears filled my eyes. Glory to God!
Well, God didn't want us to move there. He was just using that to teach me a few things, and there are so many lessons in that story, it's hard for me to put them into words. It really is! Things are not always the way they appear on the outside. You see, if God would have had us buy that home and live in that neighborhood, to the natural eye and to a lot of people that would have looked like decrease. But, in actuality, it would have been the best increase ever. Things are nice to have, and good to use while we live here on this Earth, but when we leave here, no thing is going with us! But, people are, and people are what matter to the heart of God. And, people are what matter to my heart as well. Not things, people. Loving people. Ministering to people. People are valuable. Precious. The fruit of the Earth.
Anyway, you may wonder why buying that first house in Olathe reminded me of that second story, but you probably already figured that out. Because, it matters where you live and who your neighbors are. It matters where you work. It matters where you go to church. It matters where you buy groceries. It matters, because if you know Jesus, you are the light of the World, and you bring light wherever you go! You bring Jesus. You bring His love. Places are different just because you show up there. It might not seem that way to you, but they are, and you don't even realize it because you're there. You don't know what it was like before you got there, but I'll tell you. It was darker. Because, you carry the light and love of Jesus inside of you. Oh Lord, help us to share that light and love today with everyone we come in contact with. Use us!
So, yeah, we bought the wrong first house in Olathe, but I'm so thankful that God's plan for my life isn't dependent on me doing everything right. It's not ruined because of a mistake, glory to God! I'm so thankful for the blood of Jesus, and for God's grace and unmerited favor on my life. Not because of anything that I've done or haven't done, but because of everything that Jesus did for me on the cross. When I make a mistake, or do or say the wrong thing, I just remember that I don't have to do everything perfect. God is so much bigger than that! So, I don't live in condemnation when I make a mistake, even if it's a big one, like buying the wrong house. I just pray for God to help me right where I'm at now, and I just move on down the road. His road. His path. There's no where else I'd rather be!
So, we were pretty naive to the actual process of buying a home. We were also pretty naive about the Kansas City area. And, Jeremy was living in a hotel in Lenexa, KS throughout the week. I was at home with a new baby and a four-year old. And, I was pregnant (Another story for another time!)! So, we were ready to be settled in the Kansas City area. The one thing we were very sure about was Olathe, KS. We knew we were supposed to move to Olathe, so we did have that direction from the Lord.
Now, when we had bought the home in Broken Arrow, it was move-in ready. Do you know what I mean? We didn't have to do one thing to that house. It was just ready to move on in. And, we liked that quite a bit. So, WE decided (and I do mean we, and not the Lord) we should find a house just like that in Olathe, KS, a house that was move-in ready. I cannot even remember how many houses we looked at, and we really didn't like any of them that much.
We looked at one house that was definitely not move-in ready, but we liked the floor plan of that house so much. I still remember that floor plan, and it was perfect! But, it needed a new air conditioning and heating unit. It needed siding. And, it needed carpet. Other than that, it was in pretty good shape, but the thought of a house needing all that work intimidated Jeremy and me. So, every time we would think about that house, which was often, we would go through our list of negatives about that house, and decide we definitely wouldn't buy that one. Even though we liked it. Even though the neighborhood was perfect. Even though, if we had been listening to the Lord, we would have.
No, instead we bought a different house that was about a mile away from the other one. The house we bought was move-in ready, just like we wanted. But, I didn't like the floor plan at all. And, it only had three bedrooms, which I also didn't like. And, it had a huge backyard, which we didn't like either (Jeremy doesn't really like mowing, and we didn't want to spend the time that lawn would require.).
There were a lot of positive things about it. It was pretty, large kitchen, nice neighborhood, finished half-basement. So, I guess if you're going to miss the house God has for you, at least it's good to end up with a nice house. Ha! I'm just kidding about that, because really I think it's best to wait until you know what God has for you to do and do that. But, thank God that His Word says that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. God is so merciful, so kind, so full of compassion. And, you know what, He blessed us in that house in spite of everything! That's how good He is! But, I have often wondered what would have happened if we had lived in the other house, the one we should have bought.
This reminds me of another story, and these two definitely relate, so I think I'll share it. Now, Jeremy and I are firmly established in the belief that our God is a God of increase! He is a Blesser, a Rewarder, and He likes to give His children good and wonderful things! So, at the time of this second story, we lived in the above-mentioned house, aka "the wrong house," and we had lived there for several years. I always knew we wouldn't be staying in that house forever, and really I was always ready to move out of it, because I didn't really like it. Now, I was very, very thankful for it, and I never complained about it. I just knew if wasn't "our house." It never had been, and it never would be. But, nonetheless, we lived there for several years, and lots of good and wonderful things happened there, so I'm thankful. God taught us a lot from that mistake, because we learned how to listen to Him better the next time. And, the time after that. And, the time after that. And, well, you get the picture.
Anyway, back to the story. I was driving in a pretty rough area in Olathe. I wouldn't normally have been in this area, but I had an errand there, so I was. And, the houses weren't too nice and it just looked rough. I was alone in our van (a rare thing at this point in my life), and I was just driving through this neighborhood back to a main road. And, there was a house for sale on the corner of this street in this neighborhood. And, the Lord spoke to my heart, not out loud, but it was very clear.
"If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"
Now, you might think my immediate answer would be "yes," because of course Jeremy and my main motto in life is to find out what God wants us to do and do that, but I was very hesitant when He said this. First of all, my mind went a little bit tilt when He spoke that to my heart because in my mind, God is a God of increase, and how in the world would that house be increase from our current house? I mean, this was a rough, run-down neighborhood. True, the house that was for sale looked like the nicest one on the block, but that wasn't saying much. So, my mind went tilt, meaning it was hard for me to accept that the Lord would ever want us to live in such a house and neighborhood, when I know what a good and wonderful God I serve.
Second of all, the Lord has spoken to me like this before, so I knew full well that if I said "yes" His response might be "OK then. Sell your home and buy this one" or something like that. And, I was seriously thinking about what I would do if He said that. Would I buy and live in that house, in this neighborhood? Would I like having my kids live in this neighborhood? Oh my!
As I was thinking all of this, the question came again. "If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"
And, I said something like, "But Lord, You're a God of increase, and I don't see any way that this house could possibly be increase for us. It doesn't seem like you would want us to buy this house. The house we live in now is so much nicer than that house, and in such a better neighborhood." You see, it didn't fit my mold or view of how I thought God was at this point, and it was hard for me to comprehend the fact that God would ever want us to buy that house and move there.
"I know," He responded, "But, if you were sure that I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?
I thought for a minute, and said, "Yes, Lord, if I was sure that you wanted us to buy that house and move there, I would do it. I would do it in a heartbeat." And, I truly meant that.
I had a feeling that at this point, He may say, "That is exactly what I want you to do" so I braced myself. I also wondered what Jeremy would think about all of this! My, this was turning out to be quite an interesting day. But, His response changed my thinking forever.
He said, "What if I knew that there was a person in this neighborhood that would only come to know Me if you and your family moved there?"
That, my friend, is definitely increase! Tears filled my eyes. Glory to God!
Well, God didn't want us to move there. He was just using that to teach me a few things, and there are so many lessons in that story, it's hard for me to put them into words. It really is! Things are not always the way they appear on the outside. You see, if God would have had us buy that home and live in that neighborhood, to the natural eye and to a lot of people that would have looked like decrease. But, in actuality, it would have been the best increase ever. Things are nice to have, and good to use while we live here on this Earth, but when we leave here, no thing is going with us! But, people are, and people are what matter to the heart of God. And, people are what matter to my heart as well. Not things, people. Loving people. Ministering to people. People are valuable. Precious. The fruit of the Earth.
Anyway, you may wonder why buying that first house in Olathe reminded me of that second story, but you probably already figured that out. Because, it matters where you live and who your neighbors are. It matters where you work. It matters where you go to church. It matters where you buy groceries. It matters, because if you know Jesus, you are the light of the World, and you bring light wherever you go! You bring Jesus. You bring His love. Places are different just because you show up there. It might not seem that way to you, but they are, and you don't even realize it because you're there. You don't know what it was like before you got there, but I'll tell you. It was darker. Because, you carry the light and love of Jesus inside of you. Oh Lord, help us to share that light and love today with everyone we come in contact with. Use us!
So, yeah, we bought the wrong first house in Olathe, but I'm so thankful that God's plan for my life isn't dependent on me doing everything right. It's not ruined because of a mistake, glory to God! I'm so thankful for the blood of Jesus, and for God's grace and unmerited favor on my life. Not because of anything that I've done or haven't done, but because of everything that Jesus did for me on the cross. When I make a mistake, or do or say the wrong thing, I just remember that I don't have to do everything perfect. God is so much bigger than that! So, I don't live in condemnation when I make a mistake, even if it's a big one, like buying the wrong house. I just pray for God to help me right where I'm at now, and I just move on down the road. His road. His path. There's no where else I'd rather be!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Bill, my step-dad
1. One of the first things I remember about him was that he hid one of those chocolate bear cookies with the big sugar sprinkles on it from the bakery at Safeway for me to find somewhere in our house. Those cookies were so good!
2. He would sit and watch me dance around the living room for the longest time. He never seemed to get tired of watching me be a girl.
3. He told me I was the daughter he always wanted but never had.
4. He would listen to me and my friend Jayne sing Pointer Sister songs, and tell us we should start up a singing group. The neat thing was that he really meant it.
5. He awkwardly gave me a Barbie doll dress that he picked out on his own. He told me he had no idea if it was a good one or not because he had never played with Barbie dolls. It was perfect.
6. He would listen to me talk about nothing and everything for hours, and he was interested the whole entire time.
7. He teased me all the time, but I always knew he thought the world of me.
8. He helped me make a mock school lunch for a school project once. "We", meaning "he", somehow glued together soybeans perfectly into the shape of a hamburger. I had the best school project of anyone in my class thanks to his help.
9. He took me out fishing, even though I thought it was boring. And, I definitely didn't want to touch a slimy, gross fish, but I think he kinda liked that about me as well.
10. He and my mom would drive down Main Street with the windows down playing Elvis songs really loud. I would duck down in the backseat, completely embarrassed. However, at the same time, I loved that they were so silly together.
11. He taught me to drive on his standard truck. He took me out driving almost every evening for several months. He was calm the whole time, even when I almost ran us off a cliff.
12. Whenever my mom was at a meeting around dinnertime, he always took me to Long John Silvers to eat, since my mom didn't like it. He told me Long John Silvers was the only place that knew how to make healthy food unhealthy!
13. He made me feel like a princess.
14. He told me he didn't really understand girls, so to be patient with him. Little did he know, he understood girls really well.
15. He sincerely told me he knew I would be a good mom one day. Those words really stuck with me, and meant a lot.
16. He put those firecracker pull-its on my bike, and my bedroom door, and the bathroom door, and the front door, and...well, just about anywhere that he thought I would open and it would "pop" and scare me.
17. He made me feel special, and I didn't even have to do anything special for him to think I was.
18. He chose to love me, and for that I am so thankful.
I learned a lot from Bill and I miss him tonight, but I know that one of these days, I'll see him again. But, as for right now, I just wanted to share about him for a few minutes. Tomorrow, May 24, would have been his and my mom's anniversary. I'm so thankful they got married! They complimented each other well, that's for sure! And, thinking about this list makes me realize that the small things you do can make a big difference in someone's life. He made a big difference in mine just by being there. So, thank you, Bill! I'll see you on the other side! :)
2. He would sit and watch me dance around the living room for the longest time. He never seemed to get tired of watching me be a girl.
3. He told me I was the daughter he always wanted but never had.
4. He would listen to me and my friend Jayne sing Pointer Sister songs, and tell us we should start up a singing group. The neat thing was that he really meant it.
5. He awkwardly gave me a Barbie doll dress that he picked out on his own. He told me he had no idea if it was a good one or not because he had never played with Barbie dolls. It was perfect.
6. He would listen to me talk about nothing and everything for hours, and he was interested the whole entire time.
7. He teased me all the time, but I always knew he thought the world of me.
8. He helped me make a mock school lunch for a school project once. "We", meaning "he", somehow glued together soybeans perfectly into the shape of a hamburger. I had the best school project of anyone in my class thanks to his help.
9. He took me out fishing, even though I thought it was boring. And, I definitely didn't want to touch a slimy, gross fish, but I think he kinda liked that about me as well.
10. He and my mom would drive down Main Street with the windows down playing Elvis songs really loud. I would duck down in the backseat, completely embarrassed. However, at the same time, I loved that they were so silly together.
11. He taught me to drive on his standard truck. He took me out driving almost every evening for several months. He was calm the whole time, even when I almost ran us off a cliff.
12. Whenever my mom was at a meeting around dinnertime, he always took me to Long John Silvers to eat, since my mom didn't like it. He told me Long John Silvers was the only place that knew how to make healthy food unhealthy!
13. He made me feel like a princess.
14. He told me he didn't really understand girls, so to be patient with him. Little did he know, he understood girls really well.
15. He sincerely told me he knew I would be a good mom one day. Those words really stuck with me, and meant a lot.
16. He put those firecracker pull-its on my bike, and my bedroom door, and the bathroom door, and the front door, and...well, just about anywhere that he thought I would open and it would "pop" and scare me.
17. He made me feel special, and I didn't even have to do anything special for him to think I was.
18. He chose to love me, and for that I am so thankful.
I learned a lot from Bill and I miss him tonight, but I know that one of these days, I'll see him again. But, as for right now, I just wanted to share about him for a few minutes. Tomorrow, May 24, would have been his and my mom's anniversary. I'm so thankful they got married! They complimented each other well, that's for sure! And, thinking about this list makes me realize that the small things you do can make a big difference in someone's life. He made a big difference in mine just by being there. So, thank you, Bill! I'll see you on the other side! :)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The Job Offer
We had lived in our new home a few months when Name Brand Clothing offered Jeremy a job in the Kansas City area. Now, they had offered him jobs in other cities before, but we had always known we weren't supposed to take them. So, we had turned down other jobs they had offered him, all with pay increases. And, at this point, Jeremy liked the job he was doing for Name Brand Clothing quite a bit. He was the regional director over all the Name Brand Clothing Stores in the Tulsa region, and it was a perfect job, really. He was off every evening at 5:00 and didn't work weekends. It was wonderful, and really a life we hadn't known when Jeremy was a store manager.
But, Name Brand Clothing had a store in Lenexa, KS (which is near Kansas City) that had never been successful. They had tried several managers, and the store had never been profitable. Rusty, the owner of Name Brand Clothing, asked Jeremy if he would be willing to move to the Kansas City area and manage that store. One last try before they closed it for good.
As soon as Jeremy told me about that offer, I knew we would be moving. I just knew in my heart we were supposed to go. I think Jeremy knew it too. But, it was such a huge decision, and we really wanted to be sure it was what God wanted us to do. I mean, God had always led us pretty clearly in times past when we had big decisions to make, and we thought He would do the same thing again. So, we kept thinking and praying about it for about a month.
Nothing. Just that peace that we were supposed to take that job. No audible voice. There wasn't even a still, small voice. We would have been happy to have that, at least. No, there was just this inner peace, this inner witness, that we were supposed to sell our house and move to the Kansas City area. A little note here: This was so different from how God had led us in previous times, and yet, I think it is how God leads His children a lot of the time. Just by His peace, just by a "knowing" inside you. It's not based on what things look like in the natural. It's not a pros and con list of the good and bad things about the decision at hand. No, it's just what I would call an inner witness.
So, finally we sat down and said, "We know we're supposed to do this. We want a more dramatic sign from the Lord, but this is what He is giving us. His peace." You really can't go wrong if you follow His peace. So, we decided that Jeremy would take the job managing that store in Lenexa, and we would move there.
Here is what is so funny. During that month while we were deciding if we were going to take that job or not, Rusty would talk to Jeremy about the Lenexa store. He really wanted Jeremy to move and manage it. One day they were talking and Rusty said, "I know you just bought that house in Broken Arrow, and I know wives. I'm sure your wife doesn't want to move to the Kansas City area and leave that pretty new house."
Jeremy assured him that I wasn't like that at all, and that I would never make my decision based on the fact that we had just bought a home. Rusty was unconvinced. "No," he said, "I know wives. They don't want to leave a house they just bought and move to another one. And, they especially don't want to go from owning a house to renting again. So, you make sure and tell your wife that we will write a new house into your moving package. If you decide to take that job, we will include a down payment and the closing costs for a new home comparable to what you are living in now. That will be part of the moving package. You make sure to tell her that."
Well, Jeremy did tell me, but it didn't have anything to do with our decision to move or not move! :) Praise the Lord, though! What a blessing that was to us! God is just so good!
Besides the fact that we had never really wanted to buy a house, I had definitely never wanted to sell one either! That didn't sound like fun at all. We hadn't lived in that house very long, and we decided it would be best if we sold it ourselves, without a realtor. Now, Jeremy was traveling back and forth to Lenexa by this time, and I was at home during the week by myself with the kids. We were concerned about how we were going to show our house to potential buyers, since Jeremy didn't want me to be alone with people we didn't even know. So, we decided either people would have to come see it on the weekend, or my dad, who lives in Broken Arrow, would have to come over when people came to see the house.
That was the plan, but we ended up not needing it! On the Saturday we were putting out the "For Sale By Owner" sign, an older couple drove by and wanted to see the house. I can't remember the details of how this all happened, but I do remember that they came and looked at the house. They walked through it, told Jeremy they wanted to buy it with cash, and then they did. So, that was that. We hired someone to help us close on the deal, and the house was sold. Wow! It was amazingly easy and fast! They didn't even have inspections done since we had just had them done so recently.
So, the move was set for the summer of 1999! We just had to find a house to buy in the Kansas City area, and that turned out to be a far more difficult process for us than selling our house! Isn't it something that I had told the Lord we would leave that house in Broken Arrow any time He wanted us to and it ended up to be not even a year later? I never would have thought that! But, looking back, we could see how perfectly it all worked out that we had bought that house, even though we only lived in it for less than a year. If we hadn't bought that home, we would have still been renting, and I don't think Rusty would have been as apt to include the down payment and closing cost for a new home into Jeremy's moving package. He may have, because God can work things out, but it seemed like he wouldn't have! Thank you, Lord, for always knowing the perfect thing that we should do, even when we don't! Yep, you can never go wrong when you find out what God wants you to do, and do that!
But, Name Brand Clothing had a store in Lenexa, KS (which is near Kansas City) that had never been successful. They had tried several managers, and the store had never been profitable. Rusty, the owner of Name Brand Clothing, asked Jeremy if he would be willing to move to the Kansas City area and manage that store. One last try before they closed it for good.
As soon as Jeremy told me about that offer, I knew we would be moving. I just knew in my heart we were supposed to go. I think Jeremy knew it too. But, it was such a huge decision, and we really wanted to be sure it was what God wanted us to do. I mean, God had always led us pretty clearly in times past when we had big decisions to make, and we thought He would do the same thing again. So, we kept thinking and praying about it for about a month.
Nothing. Just that peace that we were supposed to take that job. No audible voice. There wasn't even a still, small voice. We would have been happy to have that, at least. No, there was just this inner peace, this inner witness, that we were supposed to sell our house and move to the Kansas City area. A little note here: This was so different from how God had led us in previous times, and yet, I think it is how God leads His children a lot of the time. Just by His peace, just by a "knowing" inside you. It's not based on what things look like in the natural. It's not a pros and con list of the good and bad things about the decision at hand. No, it's just what I would call an inner witness.
So, finally we sat down and said, "We know we're supposed to do this. We want a more dramatic sign from the Lord, but this is what He is giving us. His peace." You really can't go wrong if you follow His peace. So, we decided that Jeremy would take the job managing that store in Lenexa, and we would move there.
Here is what is so funny. During that month while we were deciding if we were going to take that job or not, Rusty would talk to Jeremy about the Lenexa store. He really wanted Jeremy to move and manage it. One day they were talking and Rusty said, "I know you just bought that house in Broken Arrow, and I know wives. I'm sure your wife doesn't want to move to the Kansas City area and leave that pretty new house."
Jeremy assured him that I wasn't like that at all, and that I would never make my decision based on the fact that we had just bought a home. Rusty was unconvinced. "No," he said, "I know wives. They don't want to leave a house they just bought and move to another one. And, they especially don't want to go from owning a house to renting again. So, you make sure and tell your wife that we will write a new house into your moving package. If you decide to take that job, we will include a down payment and the closing costs for a new home comparable to what you are living in now. That will be part of the moving package. You make sure to tell her that."
Well, Jeremy did tell me, but it didn't have anything to do with our decision to move or not move! :) Praise the Lord, though! What a blessing that was to us! God is just so good!
Besides the fact that we had never really wanted to buy a house, I had definitely never wanted to sell one either! That didn't sound like fun at all. We hadn't lived in that house very long, and we decided it would be best if we sold it ourselves, without a realtor. Now, Jeremy was traveling back and forth to Lenexa by this time, and I was at home during the week by myself with the kids. We were concerned about how we were going to show our house to potential buyers, since Jeremy didn't want me to be alone with people we didn't even know. So, we decided either people would have to come see it on the weekend, or my dad, who lives in Broken Arrow, would have to come over when people came to see the house.
That was the plan, but we ended up not needing it! On the Saturday we were putting out the "For Sale By Owner" sign, an older couple drove by and wanted to see the house. I can't remember the details of how this all happened, but I do remember that they came and looked at the house. They walked through it, told Jeremy they wanted to buy it with cash, and then they did. So, that was that. We hired someone to help us close on the deal, and the house was sold. Wow! It was amazingly easy and fast! They didn't even have inspections done since we had just had them done so recently.
So, the move was set for the summer of 1999! We just had to find a house to buy in the Kansas City area, and that turned out to be a far more difficult process for us than selling our house! Isn't it something that I had told the Lord we would leave that house in Broken Arrow any time He wanted us to and it ended up to be not even a year later? I never would have thought that! But, looking back, we could see how perfectly it all worked out that we had bought that house, even though we only lived in it for less than a year. If we hadn't bought that home, we would have still been renting, and I don't think Rusty would have been as apt to include the down payment and closing cost for a new home into Jeremy's moving package. He may have, because God can work things out, but it seemed like he wouldn't have! Thank you, Lord, for always knowing the perfect thing that we should do, even when we don't! Yep, you can never go wrong when you find out what God wants you to do, and do that!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Daniel James
So, Diane was nine days late being born, and Daniel was eight days early! That was such a big surprise to us, but we were very thankful, since he was almost nine pounds when he was born! How much would he have weighed if he had been born on November 1, 1998? Oh my!
We decided to go a completely different route with a doctor and a hospital with Daniel's delivery, maybe because of our experience at The Doctor's Hospital. We ended up not really liking the doctor we had deliver Daniel, but St Francis Hospital in Tulsa, OK was wonderful! The difference was night and day from our experience at The Doctor's Hospital, praise the Lord! However, here is one humorous story that occurred soon after we got to the hospital.
My water had broken, and they checked us right into a delivery room. Shortly after arriving, a nurse came in and said she wanted to hook me up to an IV. Now, I hadn't had an IV with Diane, and I really didn't want one with Daniel since I was having a natural birth. But, she insisted it was a good idea since my water had broken. I can't remember all the details as to why (probably it was because they were hoping I would get an epidural), but I decided to just go ahead and let her put in the IV. I raised my left arm up towards her, and she started poking in the needle. At this same time, she was talking to someone else who worked at the hospital at the door of our room. I was watching her put in the IV, and was shocked to my blood squirting against the white hospital wall, right near the ceiling.
"Excuse me," I said to the nurse. She didn't hear me and she didn't respond. "Excuse me," I said, a bit louder. Again, no response. I just laid there, watching my blood squirt that wall, and feeling a bit sick. "Excuse me!" I said, quite loud and bold.
"What?" she said.
I pointed at the blood squirting all over the wall, and she quickly stopped what she was doing. Once she got in the IV, someone had to come wipe up that mess! Yuck! It was a surreal moment; it didn't seem like it had really happened, but it had.
But, other than that, our experience at St Francis Hospital was perfect! Everyone was so kind and helpful, and Daniel's birth, though hard, went really well and quick. He was so big when he was born, he looked like a Sumu wrestler! He had big eyes, but they looked like little squinty eyes after he was born, because his cheeks were so chubby and plump. As soon as he was born, they laid him, crying, on my chest and the second they laid him on me he stopped crying. Such a sweet moment! He was precious, just precious!
We had decided against me nursing. After all that had occurred with Diane, we had become big fans of bottle-feeding. I particularly liked that I could see exactly how much milk the baby drank, and I knew that the baby was getting enough milk. Yep, we both had become huge bottle-feeding fans! This was an unpopular decision with the hospital staff, and come to find out, with one of my friends who came to visit us at the hospital.
Jeremy had stepped out for a few minutes, and I was alone in the hospital room with our sweet baby Daniel. My friend walked in and we chatted for a few minutes, and then she popped the question. "Are you nursing?" to which I replied, "No, we're bottle feeding."
"What?!?" she questioned.
I briefly explained some of our reasoning as to why we were bottle feeding, but she responded and said, "Well, you have to at least nurse him the first few days so he'll get the colostrum. You have to at least do that."
Now, I know all about the benefits of colostrum, but we had decided against nursing at all. It's what we felt peace about, and it was what we were doing. And, I said this to her.
"But you HAVE to nurse him. You just have to!"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't. He's our baby, and we've decided to bottle feed him, and that is what we are doing." And, the conversation ended abruptly and awkardly.
For goodness sakes! You can be a wonderful, nurturing mother, and not nurse your baby! We had a lot of problems with nursing the first time around, and we made our decision. That story always reminds me not to judge other people and the decisions they make, because I really don't know how the Lord is leading them, and what has occurred in their life to get them to the point where they are. Lots of times, we really don't know at all what people have been through, and so I try to be really careful about not judging people, even if their decision seems wrong to me. Because, I really don't know what's best for them in their situation. And, even if they are wrong, it's not always my place to tell them! Actually, I think it's usually not!
I also have been able to minister to a lot of women who have had problems with nursing, and assure them that they can still be a good mom even if they don't nurse their baby. There is a lot of pressure to nurse, especially in Christian circles, and it almost comes across that you can't be a good mother and not nurse your baby. Nursing is wonderful in a lot of situations, but it is not for everyone. Some moms really just can't handle it, for a variety of different reasons, and the best thing for them is to bottle feed, and not have all that stress. And, some moms enjoy nursing so much, and it's the greatest thing for them and their babies. But, people just have to be careful not to minister condemnation to a mama who loves their baby so much, but has decided not to nurse. My answer in ALL situations...just minister the love of God. That's what new mommies need, love, not judgement! OK, so now you've heard my soapbox, which I rarely ever talk about, but hey, this is my blog, so I guess I can talk about it here, huh? :)
Also, we were thrilled to take Daniel home to our new house! His bedroom was already painted yellow from the previous owners, and it looked so cute with his blue bedding set! I could hardly wait to get home from the hospital myself, since I had only really spent one night in our new house, besides that night when my water broke, but that didn't really count!
One of those first nights home I remember waking up in the middle of the night to feed Daniel. I had just finished feeding him his bottle, and had laid him back down in his bassinet. I was sitting in our beautiful, big new living room, and just feeling so thankful for our home. I started thanking God for giving us such a nice home. I started thanking Him for allowing us to live there, and blessing us with our precious children. I was just filled with awe, and gratefulness to God. I was walking around that living room, just praying and talking with the Lord. As I was thanking Him, I told Him that I would be content to live in that house the rest of my life, that it would suit me just fine, that I liked it that well. Thankfulness overflowed from my heart, but then I changed my train of thought and told Him that as much as I liked that house, I would leave it in a heartbeat if He wanted us to ever move. I told Him, "In my mind, I live in a box, and I am always opened to do Your will, to move where You want us to move, to go where You want us to be. Yes, this house is beautiful and nice, but I'll leave it in a second if you want me to, Lord. In a second. It really means nothing to me. What matters to me is You and Your will."
When I said, "I live in a box" what I meant by that was that I would pack up and move anywhere, anytime, at the Lord's direction. I will never hold onto things, because they are just that, things. They are wonderful to have, and they are a blessing, but on the other hand, really not worth much in comparison with doing God's will and His plan. Actually, not worth anything in comparison to that. I guess I just needed to reaffirm with Him and myself that even though we had indeed bought a house, something you may remember we had never planned to do, we would leave it in an instant for Him. And, I still feel that way today. I like the house the Lord has blessed us with here in Branson, but I could and would leave it all if the Lord wanted us to do it! And, I'd be thrilled to do it, too!
Little did I know that night in late October when I prayed that to the Lord that we would only be living in that house a few short months (Yes, months!) before the Lord actually would have us move somewhere else! Oh my, living for the Lord is a grand adventure indeed! But, more about that in my next blog, God-willing! :) Have a blessed day, my friends!
We decided to go a completely different route with a doctor and a hospital with Daniel's delivery, maybe because of our experience at The Doctor's Hospital. We ended up not really liking the doctor we had deliver Daniel, but St Francis Hospital in Tulsa, OK was wonderful! The difference was night and day from our experience at The Doctor's Hospital, praise the Lord! However, here is one humorous story that occurred soon after we got to the hospital.
My water had broken, and they checked us right into a delivery room. Shortly after arriving, a nurse came in and said she wanted to hook me up to an IV. Now, I hadn't had an IV with Diane, and I really didn't want one with Daniel since I was having a natural birth. But, she insisted it was a good idea since my water had broken. I can't remember all the details as to why (probably it was because they were hoping I would get an epidural), but I decided to just go ahead and let her put in the IV. I raised my left arm up towards her, and she started poking in the needle. At this same time, she was talking to someone else who worked at the hospital at the door of our room. I was watching her put in the IV, and was shocked to my blood squirting against the white hospital wall, right near the ceiling.
"Excuse me," I said to the nurse. She didn't hear me and she didn't respond. "Excuse me," I said, a bit louder. Again, no response. I just laid there, watching my blood squirt that wall, and feeling a bit sick. "Excuse me!" I said, quite loud and bold.
"What?" she said.
I pointed at the blood squirting all over the wall, and she quickly stopped what she was doing. Once she got in the IV, someone had to come wipe up that mess! Yuck! It was a surreal moment; it didn't seem like it had really happened, but it had.
But, other than that, our experience at St Francis Hospital was perfect! Everyone was so kind and helpful, and Daniel's birth, though hard, went really well and quick. He was so big when he was born, he looked like a Sumu wrestler! He had big eyes, but they looked like little squinty eyes after he was born, because his cheeks were so chubby and plump. As soon as he was born, they laid him, crying, on my chest and the second they laid him on me he stopped crying. Such a sweet moment! He was precious, just precious!
We had decided against me nursing. After all that had occurred with Diane, we had become big fans of bottle-feeding. I particularly liked that I could see exactly how much milk the baby drank, and I knew that the baby was getting enough milk. Yep, we both had become huge bottle-feeding fans! This was an unpopular decision with the hospital staff, and come to find out, with one of my friends who came to visit us at the hospital.
Jeremy had stepped out for a few minutes, and I was alone in the hospital room with our sweet baby Daniel. My friend walked in and we chatted for a few minutes, and then she popped the question. "Are you nursing?" to which I replied, "No, we're bottle feeding."
"What?!?" she questioned.
I briefly explained some of our reasoning as to why we were bottle feeding, but she responded and said, "Well, you have to at least nurse him the first few days so he'll get the colostrum. You have to at least do that."
Now, I know all about the benefits of colostrum, but we had decided against nursing at all. It's what we felt peace about, and it was what we were doing. And, I said this to her.
"But you HAVE to nurse him. You just have to!"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't. He's our baby, and we've decided to bottle feed him, and that is what we are doing." And, the conversation ended abruptly and awkardly.
For goodness sakes! You can be a wonderful, nurturing mother, and not nurse your baby! We had a lot of problems with nursing the first time around, and we made our decision. That story always reminds me not to judge other people and the decisions they make, because I really don't know how the Lord is leading them, and what has occurred in their life to get them to the point where they are. Lots of times, we really don't know at all what people have been through, and so I try to be really careful about not judging people, even if their decision seems wrong to me. Because, I really don't know what's best for them in their situation. And, even if they are wrong, it's not always my place to tell them! Actually, I think it's usually not!
I also have been able to minister to a lot of women who have had problems with nursing, and assure them that they can still be a good mom even if they don't nurse their baby. There is a lot of pressure to nurse, especially in Christian circles, and it almost comes across that you can't be a good mother and not nurse your baby. Nursing is wonderful in a lot of situations, but it is not for everyone. Some moms really just can't handle it, for a variety of different reasons, and the best thing for them is to bottle feed, and not have all that stress. And, some moms enjoy nursing so much, and it's the greatest thing for them and their babies. But, people just have to be careful not to minister condemnation to a mama who loves their baby so much, but has decided not to nurse. My answer in ALL situations...just minister the love of God. That's what new mommies need, love, not judgement! OK, so now you've heard my soapbox, which I rarely ever talk about, but hey, this is my blog, so I guess I can talk about it here, huh? :)
Also, we were thrilled to take Daniel home to our new house! His bedroom was already painted yellow from the previous owners, and it looked so cute with his blue bedding set! I could hardly wait to get home from the hospital myself, since I had only really spent one night in our new house, besides that night when my water broke, but that didn't really count!
One of those first nights home I remember waking up in the middle of the night to feed Daniel. I had just finished feeding him his bottle, and had laid him back down in his bassinet. I was sitting in our beautiful, big new living room, and just feeling so thankful for our home. I started thanking God for giving us such a nice home. I started thanking Him for allowing us to live there, and blessing us with our precious children. I was just filled with awe, and gratefulness to God. I was walking around that living room, just praying and talking with the Lord. As I was thanking Him, I told Him that I would be content to live in that house the rest of my life, that it would suit me just fine, that I liked it that well. Thankfulness overflowed from my heart, but then I changed my train of thought and told Him that as much as I liked that house, I would leave it in a heartbeat if He wanted us to ever move. I told Him, "In my mind, I live in a box, and I am always opened to do Your will, to move where You want us to move, to go where You want us to be. Yes, this house is beautiful and nice, but I'll leave it in a second if you want me to, Lord. In a second. It really means nothing to me. What matters to me is You and Your will."
When I said, "I live in a box" what I meant by that was that I would pack up and move anywhere, anytime, at the Lord's direction. I will never hold onto things, because they are just that, things. They are wonderful to have, and they are a blessing, but on the other hand, really not worth much in comparison with doing God's will and His plan. Actually, not worth anything in comparison to that. I guess I just needed to reaffirm with Him and myself that even though we had indeed bought a house, something you may remember we had never planned to do, we would leave it in an instant for Him. And, I still feel that way today. I like the house the Lord has blessed us with here in Branson, but I could and would leave it all if the Lord wanted us to do it! And, I'd be thrilled to do it, too!
Little did I know that night in late October when I prayed that to the Lord that we would only be living in that house a few short months (Yes, months!) before the Lord actually would have us move somewhere else! Oh my, living for the Lord is a grand adventure indeed! But, more about that in my next blog, God-willing! :) Have a blessed day, my friends!
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