The Wrong House

On that note, from my previous "Job Offer" post, it is always good to find out what God wants you to do and do that.  Oh yes, that is the best way to live!  And, God had amazingly led us to the first house we bought.  He truly had.  I mean, we only looked at ONE house in Broken Arrow, and that was the one.  Then the Lord supernaturally brought in the money to buy that house, and we did.  It was all very smooth and easy.  Well, I guess besides move-in day, when the other owners hadn't started moving out yet!  Ha, ha!  But, really, it had been smooth and easy.

So, we were pretty naive to the actual process of buying a home.  We were also pretty naive about the Kansas City area.  And, Jeremy was living in a hotel in Lenexa, KS throughout the week.  I was at home with a new baby and a four-year old.  And, I was pregnant (Another story for another time!)!  So, we were ready to be settled in the Kansas City area.  The one thing we were very sure about was Olathe, KS.  We knew we were supposed to move to Olathe, so we did have that direction from the Lord.

Now, when we had bought the home in Broken Arrow, it was move-in ready.  Do you know what I mean?  We didn't have to do one thing to that house.  It was just ready to move on in.  And, we liked that quite a bit.  So, WE decided (and I do mean we, and not the Lord) we should find a house just like that in Olathe, KS, a house that was move-in ready.  I cannot even remember how many houses we looked at, and we really didn't like any of them that much.

We looked at one house that was definitely not move-in ready, but we liked the floor plan of that house so much.  I still remember that floor plan, and it was perfect!  But, it needed a new air conditioning and heating unit.  It needed siding.  And, it needed carpet.  Other than that, it was in pretty good shape, but the thought of a house needing all that work intimidated Jeremy and me.  So, every time we would think about that house, which was often, we would go through our list of negatives about that house, and decide we definitely wouldn't buy that one.  Even though we liked it.  Even though the neighborhood was perfect.  Even though, if we had been listening to the Lord, we would have.

No, instead we bought a different house that was about a mile away from the other one.  The house we bought was move-in ready, just like we wanted.  But, I didn't like the floor plan at all.  And, it only had three bedrooms, which I also didn't like.  And, it had a huge backyard, which we didn't like either (Jeremy doesn't really like mowing, and we didn't want to spend the time that lawn would require.).

There were a lot of positive things about it.  It was pretty, large kitchen, nice neighborhood, finished half-basement.  So, I guess if you're going to miss the house God has for you, at least it's good to end up with a nice house.  Ha!  I'm just kidding about that, because really I think it's best to wait until you know what God has for you to do and do that.  But, thank God that His Word says that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.  God is so merciful, so kind, so full of compassion.  And, you know what, He blessed us in that house in spite of everything!  That's how good He is!  But, I have often wondered what would have happened if we had lived in the other house, the one we should have bought.

This reminds me of another story, and these two definitely relate, so I think I'll share it.  Now, Jeremy and I are firmly established in the belief that our God is a God of increase!  He is a Blesser, a Rewarder, and He likes to give His children good and wonderful things!  So, at the time of this second story, we lived in the above-mentioned house, aka "the wrong house,"  and we had lived there for several years.  I always knew we wouldn't be staying in that house forever, and really I was always ready to move out of it, because I didn't really like it.  Now, I was very, very thankful for it, and I never complained about it.  I just knew if wasn't "our house."  It never had been, and it never would be.  But, nonetheless, we lived there for several years, and lots of good and wonderful things happened there, so I'm thankful.  God taught us a lot from that mistake, because we learned how to listen to Him better the next time.  And, the time after that.  And, the time after that.  And, well, you get the picture.

Anyway, back to the story.  I was driving in a pretty rough area in Olathe.  I wouldn't normally have been in this area, but I had an errand there, so I was.  And, the houses weren't too nice and it just looked rough.  I was alone in our van (a rare thing at this point in my life), and I was just driving through this neighborhood back to a main road.  And, there was a house for sale on the corner of this street in this neighborhood.  And, the Lord spoke to my heart, not out loud, but it was very clear.

"If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"

Now, you might think my immediate answer would be "yes," because of course Jeremy and my main motto in life is to find out what God wants us to do and do that, but I was very hesitant when He said this.  First of all, my mind went a little bit tilt when He spoke that to my heart because in my mind, God is a God of increase, and how in the world would that house be increase from our current house?  I mean, this was a rough, run-down neighborhood.  True, the house that was for sale looked like the nicest one on the block, but that wasn't saying much.  So, my mind went tilt, meaning it was hard for me to accept that the Lord would ever want us to live in such a house and neighborhood, when I know what a good and wonderful God I serve.

Second of all, the Lord has spoken to me like this before, so I knew full well that if I said "yes" His response might be "OK then.  Sell your home and buy this one" or something like that.  And, I was seriously thinking about what I would do if He said that.  Would I buy and live in that house, in this neighborhood?  Would I like having my kids live in this neighborhood?  Oh my!

As I was thinking all of this, the question came again.  "If I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?"

And, I said something like, "But Lord, You're a God of increase, and I don't see any way that this house could possibly be increase for us.  It doesn't seem like you would want us to buy this house.  The house we live in now is so much nicer than that house, and in such a better neighborhood."  You see, it didn't fit my mold or view of how I thought God was at this point, and it was hard for me to comprehend the fact that God would ever want us to buy that house and move there. 

"I know," He responded, "But, if you were sure that I wanted you to buy that house and move there, would you do it?

I thought for a minute, and said, "Yes, Lord, if I was sure that you wanted us to buy that house and move there, I would do it.  I would do it in a heartbeat."  And, I truly meant that.

I had a feeling that at this point, He may say, "That is exactly what I want you to do" so I braced myself.  I also wondered what Jeremy would think about all of this!  My, this was turning out to be quite an interesting day.  But, His response changed my thinking forever.

He said, "What if I knew that there was a person in this neighborhood that would only come to know Me if you and your family moved there?"


That, my friend, is definitely increase!  Tears filled my eyes.  Glory to God!   

Well, God didn't want us to move there.  He was just using that to teach me a few things, and there are so many lessons in that story, it's hard for me to put them into words.  It really is!  Things are not always the way they appear on the outside.  You see, if God would have had us buy that home and live in that neighborhood, to the natural eye and to a lot of people that would have looked like decrease.  But, in actuality, it would have been the best increase ever.  Things are nice to have, and good to use while we live here on this Earth, but when we leave here, no thing is going with us!  But, people are, and people are what matter to the heart of God.  And, people are what matter to my heart as well.  Not things, people.  Loving people.  Ministering to people.  People are valuable.  Precious.  The fruit of the Earth.

Anyway, you may wonder why buying that first house in Olathe reminded me of that second story, but you probably already figured that out.  Because, it matters where you live and who your neighbors are.  It matters where you work.  It matters where you go to church.  It matters where you buy groceries.  It matters, because if you know Jesus, you are the light of the World, and you bring light wherever you go!  You bring Jesus.  You bring His love.  Places are different just because you show up there.  It might not seem that way to you, but they are, and you don't even realize it because you're there.  You don't know what it was like before you got there, but I'll tell you.  It was darker.  Because, you carry the light and love of Jesus inside of you.  Oh Lord, help us to share that light and love today with everyone we come in contact with.  Use us!

So, yeah, we bought the wrong first house in Olathe, but I'm so thankful that God's plan for my life isn't dependent on me doing everything right.  It's not ruined because of a mistake, glory to God!  I'm so thankful for the blood of Jesus, and for God's grace and unmerited favor on my life.  Not because of anything that I've done or haven't done, but because of everything that Jesus did for me on the cross.  When I make a mistake, or do or say the wrong thing, I just remember that I don't have to do everything perfect.  God is so much bigger than that!  So, I don't live in condemnation when I make a mistake, even if it's a big one, like buying the wrong house.  I just pray for God to help me right where I'm at now, and I just move on down the road.  His road.  His path.  There's no where else I'd rather be!

Bill, my step-dad

1.  One of the first things I remember about him was that he hid one of those chocolate bear cookies with the big sugar sprinkles on it from the bakery at Safeway for me to find somewhere in our house.  Those cookies were so good!

2.  He would sit and watch me dance around the living room for the longest time.  He never seemed to get tired of watching me be a girl.

3.  He told me I was the daughter he always wanted but never had.

4.  He would listen to me and my friend Jayne sing Pointer Sister songs, and tell us we should start up a singing group.  The neat thing was that he really meant it.

5.  He awkwardly gave me a Barbie doll dress that he picked out on his own.  He told me he had no idea if it was a good one or not because he had never played with Barbie dolls.  It was perfect.

6.  He would listen to me talk about nothing and everything for hours, and he was interested the whole entire time.

7.  He teased me all the time, but I always knew he thought the world of me.

8.  He helped me make a mock school lunch for a school project once.  "We", meaning "he", somehow glued together soybeans perfectly into the shape of a hamburger.  I had the best school project of anyone in my class thanks to his help.

9.  He took me out fishing, even though I thought it was boring.  And, I definitely didn't want to touch a slimy, gross fish, but I think he kinda liked that about me as well.

10.  He and my mom would drive down Main Street with the windows down playing Elvis songs really loud.  I would duck down in the backseat, completely embarrassed. However, at the same time, I loved that they were so silly together.

11.  He taught me to drive on his standard truck.  He took me out driving almost every evening for several months.  He was calm the whole time, even when I almost ran us off a cliff.

12.  Whenever my mom was at a meeting around dinnertime, he always took me to Long John Silvers to eat, since my mom didn't like it.  He told me Long John Silvers was the only place that knew how to make healthy food unhealthy!

13.  He made me feel like a princess.

14.  He told me he didn't really understand girls, so to be patient with him.  Little did he know, he understood girls really well.

15.  He sincerely told me he knew I would be a good mom one day.  Those words really stuck with me, and meant a lot.

16.  He put those firecracker pull-its on my bike, and my bedroom door, and the bathroom door, and the front door, and...well, just about anywhere that he thought I would open and it would "pop" and scare me.

17.  He made me feel special, and I didn't even have to do anything special for him to think I was.

18.  He chose to love me, and for that I am so thankful.

I learned a lot from Bill and I miss him tonight, but I know that one of these days, I'll see him again.  But, as for right now, I just wanted to share about him for a few minutes.  Tomorrow, May 24, would have been his and my mom's anniversary.  I'm so thankful they got married!  They complimented each other well, that's for sure!  And, thinking about this list makes me realize that the small things you do can make a big difference in someone's life.  He made a big difference in mine just by being there.  So, thank you, Bill!  I'll see you on the other side! :)

The Job Offer

We had lived in our new home a few months when Name Brand Clothing offered Jeremy a job in the Kansas City area.  Now, they had offered him jobs in other cities before, but we had always known we weren't supposed to take them.  So, we had turned down other jobs they had offered him, all with pay increases.  And, at this point, Jeremy liked the job he was doing for Name Brand Clothing quite a bit.  He was the regional director over all the Name Brand Clothing Stores in the Tulsa region, and it was a perfect job, really.  He was off every evening at 5:00 and didn't work weekends.  It was wonderful, and really a life we hadn't known when Jeremy was a store manager.

But, Name Brand Clothing had a store in Lenexa, KS (which is near Kansas City) that had never been successful.  They had tried several managers, and the store had never been profitable.  Rusty, the owner of Name Brand Clothing, asked Jeremy if he would be willing to move to the Kansas City area and manage that store.  One last try before they closed it for good.

As soon as Jeremy told me about that offer, I knew we would be moving.  I just knew in my heart we were supposed to go.  I think Jeremy knew it too.  But, it was such a huge decision, and we really wanted to be sure it was what God wanted us to do.  I mean, God had always led us pretty clearly in times past when we had big decisions to make, and we thought He would do the same thing again.  So, we kept thinking and praying about it for about a month.

Nothing.  Just that peace that we were supposed to take that job.  No audible voice.  There wasn't even a still, small voice.  We would have been happy to have that, at least.  No, there was just this inner peace, this inner witness, that we were supposed to sell our house and move to the Kansas City area.  A little note here:  This was so different from how God had led us in previous times, and yet, I think it is how God leads His children a lot of the time.  Just by His peace, just by a "knowing" inside you.  It's not based on what things look like in the natural.  It's not a pros and con list of the good and bad things about the decision at hand.  No, it's just what I would call an inner witness.

So, finally we sat down and said, "We know we're supposed to do this.  We want a more dramatic sign from the Lord, but this is what He is giving us.  His peace."  You really can't go wrong if you follow His peace.  So, we decided that Jeremy would take the job managing that store in Lenexa, and we would move there.

Here is what is so funny.  During that month while we were deciding if we were going to take that job or not, Rusty would talk to Jeremy about the Lenexa store.  He really wanted Jeremy to move and manage it.  One day they were talking and Rusty said, "I know you just bought that house in Broken Arrow, and I know wives.  I'm sure your wife doesn't want to move to the Kansas City area and leave that pretty new house."

Jeremy assured him that I wasn't like that at all, and that I would never make my decision based on the fact that we had just bought a home.  Rusty was unconvinced.  "No," he said, "I know wives.  They don't want to leave a house they just bought and move to another one.  And, they especially don't want to go from owning a house to renting again.  So, you make sure and tell your wife that we will write a new house into your moving package.  If you decide to take that job, we will include a down payment and the closing costs for a new home comparable to what you are living in now.  That will be part of the moving package.  You make sure to tell her that."

Well, Jeremy did tell me, but it didn't have anything to do with our decision to move or not move! :) Praise the Lord, though!  What a blessing that was to us!  God is just so good!

Besides the fact that we had never really wanted to buy a house, I had definitely never wanted to sell one either!  That didn't sound like fun at all.  We hadn't lived in that house very long, and we decided it would be best if we sold it ourselves, without a realtor.  Now, Jeremy was traveling back and forth to Lenexa by this time, and I was at home during the week by myself with the kids.  We were concerned about how we were going to show our house to potential buyers, since Jeremy didn't want me to be alone with people we didn't even know.  So, we decided either people would have to come see it on the weekend, or my dad, who lives in Broken Arrow, would have to come over when people came to see the house.

That was the plan, but we ended up not needing it!  On the Saturday we were putting out the "For Sale By Owner" sign, an older couple drove by and wanted to see the house.  I can't remember the details of how this all happened, but I do remember that they came and looked at the house.  They walked through it, told Jeremy they wanted to buy it with cash, and then they did.  So, that was that.  We hired someone to help us close on the deal, and the house was sold.  Wow!  It was amazingly easy and fast!  They didn't even have inspections done since we had just had them done so recently. 

So, the move was set for the summer of 1999!  We just had to find a house to buy in the Kansas City area, and that turned out to be a far more difficult process for us than selling our house!  Isn't it something that I had told the Lord we would leave that house in Broken Arrow any time He wanted us to and it ended up to be not even a year later?  I never would have thought that!  But, looking back, we could see how perfectly it all worked out that we had bought that house, even though we only lived in it for less than a year.  If we hadn't bought that home, we would have still been renting, and I don't think Rusty would have been as apt to include the down payment and closing cost for a new home into Jeremy's moving package.  He may have, because God can work things out, but it seemed like he wouldn't have!  Thank you, Lord, for always knowing the perfect thing that we should do, even when we don't!  Yep, you can never go wrong when you find out what God wants you to do, and do that!

Daniel James

So, Diane was nine days late being born, and Daniel was eight days early!  That was such a big surprise to us, but we were very thankful, since he was almost nine pounds when he was born!  How much would he have weighed if he had been born on November 1, 1998?  Oh my!

We decided to go a completely different route with a doctor and a hospital with Daniel's delivery, maybe because of our experience at The Doctor's Hospital.  We ended up not really liking the doctor we had deliver Daniel, but St Francis Hospital in Tulsa, OK was wonderful!  The difference was night and day from our experience at The Doctor's Hospital, praise the Lord!  However, here is one humorous story that occurred soon after we got to the hospital.

My water had broken, and they checked us right into a delivery room.  Shortly after arriving, a nurse came in and said she wanted to hook me up to an IV.  Now, I hadn't had an IV with Diane, and I really didn't want one with Daniel since I was having a natural birth.  But, she insisted it was a good idea since my water had broken.  I can't remember all the details as to why (probably it was because they were hoping I would get an epidural), but I decided to just go ahead and let her put in the IV.  I raised my left arm up towards her, and she started poking in the needle.  At this same time, she was talking to someone else who worked at the hospital at the door of our room.  I was watching her put in the IV, and was shocked to my blood squirting against the white hospital wall, right near the ceiling.

"Excuse me," I said to the nurse.  She didn't hear me and she didn't respond.  "Excuse me," I said, a bit louder.  Again, no response.  I just laid there, watching my blood squirt that wall, and feeling a bit sick.  "Excuse me!" I said, quite loud and bold.

"What?" she said.

I pointed at the blood squirting all over the wall, and she quickly stopped what she was doing.  Once she got in the IV, someone had to come wipe up that mess!  Yuck!  It was a surreal moment; it didn't seem like it had really happened, but it had. 

But, other than that, our experience at St Francis Hospital was perfect!  Everyone was so kind and helpful, and Daniel's birth, though hard, went really well and quick.  He was so big when he was born, he looked like a Sumu wrestler!  He had big eyes, but they looked like little squinty eyes after he was born, because his cheeks were so chubby and plump.  As soon as he was born, they laid him, crying, on my chest and the second they laid him on me he stopped crying.  Such a sweet moment!  He was precious, just precious!

We had decided against me nursing.  After all that had occurred with Diane, we had become big fans of bottle-feeding.  I particularly liked that I could see exactly how much milk the baby drank, and I knew that the baby was getting enough milk.  Yep, we both had become huge bottle-feeding fans!  This was an unpopular decision with the hospital staff, and come to find out, with one of my friends who came to visit us at the hospital.

Jeremy had stepped out for a few minutes, and I was alone in the hospital room with our sweet baby Daniel.  My friend walked in and we chatted for a few minutes, and then she popped the question.  "Are you nursing?" to which I replied, "No, we're bottle feeding."

"What?!?" she questioned.

I briefly explained some of our reasoning as to why we were bottle feeding, but she responded and said, "Well, you have to at least nurse him the first few days so he'll get the colostrum.  You have to at least do that."

Now, I know all about the benefits of colostrum, but we had decided against nursing at all.  It's what we felt peace about, and it was what we were doing.  And, I said this to her.

"But you HAVE to nurse him.  You just have to!"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't.  He's our baby, and we've decided to bottle feed him, and that is what we are doing."  And, the conversation ended abruptly and awkardly.

For goodness sakes!  You can be a wonderful, nurturing mother, and not nurse your baby!  We had a lot of problems with nursing the first time around, and we made our decision.  That story always reminds me not to judge other people and the decisions they make, because I really don't know how the Lord is leading them, and what has occurred in their life to get them to the point where they are.  Lots of times, we really don't know at all what people have been through, and so I try to be really careful about not judging people, even if their decision seems wrong to me.  Because, I really don't know what's best for them in their situation.  And, even if they are wrong, it's not always my place to tell them!  Actually, I think it's usually not!

I also have been able to minister to a lot of women who have had problems with nursing, and assure them that they can still be a good mom even if they don't nurse their baby.  There is a lot of pressure to nurse, especially in Christian circles, and it almost comes across that you can't be a good mother and not nurse your baby.  Nursing is wonderful in a lot of situations, but it is not for everyone.  Some moms really just can't handle it, for a variety of different reasons, and the best thing for them is to bottle feed, and not have all that stress.  And, some moms enjoy nursing so much, and it's the greatest thing for them and their babies.  But, people just have to be careful not to minister condemnation to a mama who loves their baby so much, but has decided not to nurse.  My answer in ALL situations...just minister the love of God.  That's what new mommies need, love, not judgement!  OK, so now you've heard my soapbox, which I rarely ever talk about, but hey, this is my blog, so I guess I can talk about it here, huh? :)

Also, we were thrilled to take Daniel home to our new house!  His bedroom was already painted yellow from the previous owners, and it looked so cute with his blue bedding set! I could hardly wait to get home from the hospital myself, since I had only really spent one night in our new house, besides that night when my water broke, but that didn't really count! 

One of those first nights home I remember waking up in the middle of the night to feed Daniel.  I had just finished feeding him his bottle, and had laid him back down in his bassinet.  I was sitting in our beautiful, big new living room, and just feeling so thankful for our home.  I started thanking God for giving us such a nice home.  I started thanking Him for allowing us to live there, and blessing us with our precious children.  I was just filled with awe, and gratefulness to God.  I was walking around that living room, just praying and talking with the Lord.  As I was thanking Him, I told Him that I would be content to live in that house the rest of my life, that it would suit me just fine, that I liked it that well.  Thankfulness overflowed from my heart, but then I changed my train of thought and told Him that as much as I liked that house, I would leave it in a heartbeat if He wanted us to ever move.  I told Him, "In my mind, I live in a box, and I am always opened to do Your will, to move where You want us to move, to go where You want us to be.  Yes, this house is beautiful and nice, but I'll leave it in a second if you want me to, Lord.  In a second.  It really means nothing to me.  What matters to me is You and Your will."

When I said, "I live in a box" what I meant by that was that I would pack up and move anywhere, anytime, at the Lord's direction.  I will never hold onto things, because they are just that, things.  They are wonderful to have, and they are a blessing, but on the other hand, really not worth much in comparison with doing God's will and His plan.  Actually, not worth anything in comparison to that.  I guess I just needed to reaffirm with Him and myself that even though we had indeed bought a house, something you may remember we had never planned to do, we would leave it in an instant for Him.  And, I still feel that way today.  I like the house the Lord has blessed us with here in Branson, but I could and would leave it all if the Lord wanted us to do it!  And, I'd be thrilled to do it, too!

Little did I know that night in late October when I prayed that to the Lord that we would only be living in that house a few short months (Yes, months!) before the Lord actually would have us move somewhere else!  Oh my, living for the Lord is a grand adventure indeed!  But, more about that in my next blog, God-willing! :) Have a blessed day, my friends!

Moving Day

Moving Day was set for October 22, 1998, which was ten days before my due date with Daniel.  Lots of my friends said I was crazy to move so close to my due date ("I would never do that!"), but that was just the way things worked out, and I thought they actually would do it if they got to move into such a beautiful new house!  I was so thankful we were going to be in our new home before Daniel was born, and not after.  Besides, Diane had been nine days late, so I wasn't too concerned about Daniel being born early.  I was absolutely huge (Daniel ended up being my biggest baby!  He was one ounce shy of nine pounds!), and so my sweet husband did all the packing.  I know, he's pretty great!  

However, what did concern me was when I talked to the owners of our soon-to-be house a few days before moving day, and they said they hadn't even started packing yet!  What?!?  I didn't think that sounded too good, but when I mentioned it to Jeremy he said not to worry about it, that it was their job to pack their house and they could do it their way, which, of course, was true.  "And," he pointed out, "what can we do about it anyway?"  Men!  They're just always so logical!

We, on the other hand, were packed and ready to move several days in advance.  That's just how excited we were!  So, on the morning of October 22 we were up bright and early, and we loaded our moving truck.  It was a short move, because our new house was just about two blocks away from our rental house!  Jeremy's dad had come to help us move everything, and we were set to take possession of our new house at 10:00 AM!  I was so excited, I could hardly wait until 10:00!

We pulled up at the house right at 10, and imagine our horror when we walked into our new house and saw that all their furniture and household items were still there!  Pictures were even still hanging on the wall!  Oh my, that was not the best sight for an almost nine-month pregnant Mama on moving day! All I wanted to do was move all our things into our new house, but how could we do that when all their things were still there?  I almost started crying, and I really didn't handle it too well (I completely blame the pregnancy for this, of course!).  I held it together in front of the family, but when Jeremy and I went into a room to talk privately, I told him all the things I wanted to do, which was basically to move into our new house now, not later!  


Jeremy very patiently explained that we would just have to help them pack and load up their entire house (and garage, by the way!), and then once that was done we could unload our moving truck.  "We have the truck all day," he said, as if that was something positive.  To me there was nothing positive about this situation, and once again I was thinking how men are just so logical!  But, the thing was, he was right (Drat!) and that was really all we could do.  So, we started helping them pack.  They didn't even have boxes.  We happened to have a big roll of sturdy black trash bags, so we packed their entire house in those trash bags.  Can you believe that?  Dishes and everything!  It had to be terrible for them when they were unpacking.  Jeremy and I later decided that it probably took them at least four months to unpack.  So, we got them moved out, and then we got to move in, which was what I had been waiting for all day.  

Now, the entire time we had been planning and talking about this move, I said one thing, "I just want to have the kitchen completely set up before Daniel is born."  A woman needs a functioning kitchen, especially with a new baby, and I didn't want my little sweetie coming until my kitchen was all unpacked and ready to use!  I didn't care about the rest of the house, but I wanted that kitchen to be done!


Of course I didn't get to work on that on moving day (another thing I was distraught about), with all that had occurred.  But, I began working on that kitchen on and off all day our second day in our new home, which was October 23rd.  Of course, I kept getting interrupted with other things that needed to be put away, et cetera, but towards that evening I really got to focus on it.  Around 10:30 PM that night I put the last dish in the cabinet, the last can of food in the pantry, the last pan in the drawer.  Satisfaction!  The kitchen was done, and I was completely exhausted!


Here's a little information you may not have known about Jeremy and me.  I am a stage-person, which means I like to do things in stages, and rest in between those stages.  Jeremy, on the other hand, is not a stage person.  He likes to start something and work on it until it is completely finished, no matter how long it takes.  No breaks, nothing...just work until you are done.  So, usually we are a pretty good balance for each other, but not this night.  I think we were both just tired.


I walked into the living room, where Jeremy was working on unpacking boxes, and told him I had finished the kitchen (Yea!) and was ready to go to bed.  His quick reply was, "Why don't we finish unpacking the living room first?"


Well, you can probably somewhat imagine how that went over with me, an almost nine-month pregnant woman.  I was completely exhausted, and all I wanted to do was go to bed, together, in our new room.  And, all he wanted to do was finish unpacking the living room.  So, I sweetly went off to bed.  Oh wait, that wasn't how it went.  I stomped off to bed, and he continued working on the living room.  I wasn't too happy with him about not coming to bed with me, but I was so, so tired, I laid down and fell right to sleep.  It was after 11:00, and the last two days had been a lot of work.


Can you guess what happened from here?  Well, I woke up not even two hours later, really needing to go to the bathroom.  I went into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and my water broke!  Yep, my water broke!  I walked out to the living room, where Jeremy was still working, and flatly said to him, "My water just broke.  We have to go to the hospital."


Now, women aren't as logical as men, so in my mind, it was Jeremy's fault that my water broke.  If only he would have come to bed with me like I wanted him to do, my water wouldn't have broken!  Ha!  I'm sure no other women has ever thought this illogically, but that's what I thought!  And, my next thought was, "Hey, at least I got the kitchen done!"


So, we called some friends of ours to come watch Diane, got a bunch of towels to sit on the seat of our car (because of the trickling water that wouldn't stop), and headed to the hospital.  Praise the Lord, He is just so good and so merciful!  We got set up in our hospital room, looked at each other, and decided we better not be mad about the unpacking-thing since I was about to have our baby, so we made up pretty quickly!  And, Jeremy was a wonderful coach and helped me so much with that labor.  My precious step-mom, Maggie, also helped me so much with that labor.  I don't know what I would have done without them both, because Daniel was so big, and I had a lot of back labor with him.  And, I wanted to have him naturally, without medicine, like I had done with Diane, so I did.  And, God blessed us, and Daniel was born a little after 8:00 AM on the morning of October 24, 1998, just two days after we moved into our new home.

That's Your House!

One day about ten years ago I was sitting at a stoplight.  I remember exactly which stoplight it was in Olathe, KS on 151st Street right near Interstate 35.  I was sitting there, not really thinking about anything when the Lord spoke distinctly to my heart.  I didn't hear an audible voice, but just inside, in my spirit, I heard this, "My very name is the opposite of lack."

I knew if He said it, it must be true.  So, I just said, "That's right, Lord!  Thank you!  That is so good!" I really didn't know what He meant, but I am smart enough to know if God tells me something, it's the truth, whether I understand it or not.  Of course, I am also wise enough to check in out in His Word later, but I was very certain this was the Lord speaking to my heart. 

Anyway, He spoke to me again and explained, "My name, El Shaddai, is the exact opposite of lack."  

 I knew that El Shaddai is a name of God, and that it means "The God who is MORE THAN ENOUGH."  When I got home, I looked up lack in the dictionary and saw that one of the definitions of lack is NOT ENOUGH.

God's name truly is the opposite of LACK or POVERTY.  He is the God who is more than enough.  His very name means that!  If you have lack in your life, know that it is not what God wants for you.  He is the God who is MORE THAN ENOUGH.  He has good things for you, and if you will seek Him, He will help you out of any situation, because He cares about you so very much.  Just ask Him for His help, and He will be the God who is more than enough in your life, just like He is in mine!

Which reminds me of another story, of course.  The year was 1998 and I was pregnant with our second child, Daniel.  Jeremy, Diane and I lived in a rental house in Broken Arrow, OK, and Jeremy had just graduated from Rhema Bible Training Center that May.  We were so thankful for our rental house:  the price, the space, the garage, the backyard, the washer and dryer.  There were so many things we liked about that house, but there were also some major problems:  termites and the heating and air conditioning being the main ones.  Oh my, the summer of 1998 was a long, hot summer for me, because our air conditioning didn't work very well, and I was pregnant with Daniel, who was due November 1, 1998.

So, Jeremy and I began thinking about moving from that rental house into another rental house.  We didn't want to spend another winter in that house, since the heat didn't work very well.  A little side note about Jeremy and me:  Unlike a lot of people, we never wanted to own a house.  We didn't want to buy a home, we only wanted to rent.  We never wanted the hassle of having to sell a house, and we wanted to be free to move or go wherever the Lord wanted us to move or go on very short notice.  So, we were pretty settled about not buying a home, but just renting our whole entire life.  That was our plan, but not God's, as we soon found out.

We began looking for a rental house, but we kept coming up with nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  We didn't even look at one rental house, because we didn't find anything to even go see.  Now, the house we were currently renting was on Ithica Street in Broken Arrow, and to get out to a main road, we would drive down Ithica Street, turn right, and then turn left back onto Ithica Street.  At the end of that street on the corner was a beautiful, red-roofed home that was for sale, not for rent.  One day I drove by that house on my way out to the main street, and the Lord spoke the most surprising thing to my heart.

"That's your house."

That caught me so off guard, and I really didn't know what to think.  First of all, I kind of felt bad about it, because that wasn't our house, and I certainly didn't want to be coveting another person's house, even if they did have it for sale.  Second of all, that house was for sale and not for rent, and Jeremy and I had been pretty settled on renting our entire life.  So, I just pushed it aside, and didn't say anything about it to Jeremy.

But, it kept happening.  When I would drive by that house, I would hear this come up in my spirit:

"That's your house."

After several times of that happening, I finally mentioned it to Jeremy.  He said that the exact same house had also been standing out to him, but it was for sale and not for rent, so he had just dismissed the thought.  Hmmm, interesting.  I told him maybe we should just go look at it.  That wouldn't hurt anything.  Just because you look at a house doesn't mean you have to buy it.

After much discussion, we decided we would look at it, and Jeremy called and set up an appointment for us to go see it.  I am not even kidding you when I say that the second we walked into that house, we knew the Lord wanted us to buy it!  We both were 100% convinced that the red-roofed house was indeed the house the Lord wanted us to, amazingly enough, not rent, but buy!

We were very committed to finding out what God wanted us to do and doing that, but I must say, this did take us by surprise.  He wanted us to buy a house?  What?  And, there was one small problem with that idea, and that was the fact that we had absolutely no money to buy a home.  We seriously had just given our last $200 to a guest speaker that had spoken at our church, Rhema Bible Church, just the week before.  We had all that we needed, all our bills paid, plenty of groceries, and maybe $5 in our checking account.  We had no savings account at this time in our lives.

So, if God wanted us to buy a house, He was going to have to give us the money to do it.  We got home from seeing that house, joined our hands together, and told God that we were always opened to do His will.  We told Him that we never thought we would buy a house, but if that was His plan, we would do it. (By the way, I said this with much trepidation, because I was very nervous about the idea of owning a home!)  We asked Him to provide the money if that was what He wanted us to do.  And that was that.  The whole prayer probably took less than three minutes.

Within a weeks' time we had over $5000 in our checking account to buy that home!  I am not kidding you one bit!  Yes, when God wants you to do something, He more than provides for you to do it!  What happened, you ask?  Because, of course, you're like me and you want to know the details, right?  Well, Jeremy remembered that his boss at Name Brand Clothing had told him if we ever wanted to buy a house in the Tulsa area to let him know before we bought it.  Jeremy had assured Rusty, his boss, that we didn't want to buy a house in the area, and that we were content to just rent.

So, since his boss had said that, Jeremy went to Rusty and told him we had found a house in the area that we would like to buy.  Rusty was not just the boss at Name Brand Clothing, by the way, he owned the entire company.  Rusty asked Jeremy how much it would cost for us to get into that house, and Jeremy replied $5000.  Rusty said he would have accounting cut Jeremy a check for $5000, after taxes, as a extra bonus for us.  And, that, my friend, was that!

After tithe and closing on our beautiful new 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home, we still had a huge chunk of money left!  We were able to buy ceiling fans, a new hot water heater, et cetera, and we still had extra!  It was glorious, just glorious!  Yes, my friend, God is El Shaddai, the God who is MORE THAN ENOUGH!

Honors Choir

Last year when Denise was in 3rd grade she came home from school with a letter about Honors Choir and said she would like to try out.  Denise's school is fairly large, and they have an honors choir for the 3rd and 4th graders and 60 kids make it, and about 200 kids audition.  Now, Denise likes to sing, and in the van when we're driving she'll sing out loud and strong, but last year when she sang, lots of times it wasn't really on key or even to the tune of the song.  So, when she said she wanted to try out, I was hesitant.  Like all moms I didn't want her to try out and not make it.  I didn't express this out loud, just asked her if she was sure she wanted to try out.  She was.  So she did.  And, the letter came home that Friday that she hadn't made the choir.  She was very disappointed, and she cried, and Jeremy and I were very sad for her.

So, what comes home in her Friday folder the first week of school this year?  A letter about the 3rd and 4th grade Honors Choir.  I read through it, and tossed it in the trash.  I didn't think Denise would want to try out again, after the rejection from last year.  "No need to even mention it, and bring up bad memories of what had happened last year", I thought.  So that was that.  Until a couple of days later, when Denise asked me if I had seen that letter about Honors Choir, asked me where I had put it, and could she please try out?

"She wants to try out again," I thought.  Wow!  I told her how I had thrown it away, and maybe she could ask her teacher for another note about it.  She did, and she signed up to try out at 4:00 on a Wednesday.

From a singing standpoint, I do think her singing has improved a lot from last year.  She has a pretty voice, and most of the time she seems to sing on key and to the tune of the song.  But, I was still leery about her trying out again.  She was determined to do it, and the day of the tryouts, I felt very nervous for her.  I said a prayer and asked God to let her true voice shine at the audition, and if it was His will for her to be in that choir, that she would make it.  That was all I could think to pray for her, so that's what I prayed and left it at that.

On that Friday she came home from school beaming!  I couldn't figure out what she was so excited about and she was very secretive about it.  Finally, she came out with a letter in her hand and shouted, "I made Honors Choir!"  At dinner that evening we all celebrated her victory!!!

Well, it is true that kids learn a lot from their parents.  But, I have to say, I learn a lot from my kids.  If I had been Denise, especially at that age, I know that I wouldn't have tried out again.  Actually, I would have let the failure keep me from trying again.  I know that's not the right thing to do, but that's what I would have done.  Yet, she stepped out there, and tried again, and made it!  Watching her taught me something...never give up on the dreams that you have, because just because someone else says you're not good enough, there's Someone in Heaven Who knows that you are!!! And, He will never give up on you, and He will make a way, and give you the desires of your heart, just like He did for Denise. :) Thank you, Lord!  To God be all the Glory!

I wrote this story soon after school started in 2011, and since Denise just had her Spring Honors Choir program I was reminded of it once again.  As an added note, I just want to share that at their Christmas concert four students got chosen to sing a quartet together, out of the sixty students that are in Honors Choir.  Denise was one of the students that got chosen for that quartet!  Wow!  She went from not even making the choir, to getting chosen to sing in the quartet!  God is just so good, and she has truly enjoyed her year in Honors Choir.  Yep, I'm one thankful Mama!

The Meeting

After I found out I was accepted to Missouri State University, there were a couple of things I had to do online, such as watch a video about being a new student, sign up for an email account through MSU's site...just a few things like that.  Once that was finished, the next step was to set up an appointment with an adviser in the education department.  I called and got my appointment all set, and the next thing I knew it was time to go visit my adviser.

I felt so silly, but I was very excited about meeting with my adviser!  I had already found out that 72 of my credit hours transferred to MSU, so I was pretty happy about that.  My appointment was set for 10:30 AM, and I dropped Derek off at preschool at 9:00 AM and headed straight to Springfield.  As I was driving I came to the realization that I should have made the appointment for a later time.  I had to get to the school, figure out where to park and where the building was on the campus.  I pulled in a parking lot at MSU at 10:15.  Not good, not good at all!  I had brought a lot of change for the parking meters, and I quickly parked and put a quarter in the meter.  Nothing happened.  I looked closely at the meter and realized it was out of order.

"Great," I thought, "This is not good.  If I leave the car here, they'll probably think I parked here on purpose so I wouldn't have to pay for a parking meter, which isn't true, but how will they know that?"

I decided I better move one parking space over, so I very quickly hopped back into the car, and moved over one space.  Then I put a quarter into that meter.  It worked, and gave me only 11 minutes of time, or something crazy like that!  I had no idea how long the meeting was going to take, so I put every drop of change I had into that silly parking meter and ended up with a little over two hours.  I quickly looked at the map in front of the parking lot and saw that the building I needed to get to was very far away.  I glanced at my watch.  I had nine minutes.  I didn't think that seemed very good.

I started walking as fast as I could in the direction that I thought the building should be.  Oh, I forgot to mention that it was also raining and very windy that morning, so my umbrella kept blowing up and pulling me this direction and that direction.  The whole time I was walking, I prayed and asked God to help me make it where I needed to be on time.  I didn't think I would make a very good impression being late, but there wasn't much I could do at this point.

After much brisk walking I saw the building.  I ran up the steps, walked through the door and headed to the left.  Praise the Lord, there was the office number where I was supposed to be right in front of me.  I glanced at my cell phone and saw that it said exactly 10:30.  Amazing!  I walked in, and almost laughed when the secretary said, "You must be Nikki Storment and I see you're right on time."  If she had only known, but she didn't, so I just smiled and said hello.

The secretary introduced me to my adviser, and I stepped into her office.  Missouri State University has a lot of students, I think around 11,000, so I understand that advisers see a lot of people each day, and that some are more serious about their education than others.  However, as I began talking to my adviser, I came to the realization that she didn't really think I was very committed to going back to school.  Or maybe it wasn't that she thought that, but she just wasn't sure if I was really serious about going back to school, that maybe I was just there on some sort of a whim.  I had an impulse to say, "Listen, I have a husband and five kids at home.  I have a lot of things I could be doing other than sitting here in this chair right now, and I can guarantee you if I wasn't serious about going back to school and finishing my degree, there is no way that I would be here!"

But, I didn't say that.  Now, I used to be a pretty good student, and as she began telling me about this advanced program they offer some students, I told her I might be interested in doing that.  She looked at me and said, "You have to get approval to go that direction, and you have to maintain at least a 2.75 GPA."

When I didn't bat an eye, she suggested we look at my transcript from Emporia State University, where I have 71 college hours.  When she saw that my GPA at Emporia was 3.74, the whole climate of the meeting changed, and she said, "OK, I think that might be a possibility for you."  From that point on the meeting seemed to go better.  I guess seeing that proved to her that I was a serious student, and that I just wasn't going through some kind of mid-life crisis or something like that.

The next thing she told me was that I had to take a College Base Test on June 16 (Yes, of this year!), which is a test the State of Missouri requires for teachers.  It's a four hour test over Writing, English, Math, Social Studies and Science.  In the words of another elementary education major that I talked to, "It's like the ACT test on steroids."

After that she proceeded to explain to me that all my credit hours had transferred, but not all towards an elementary education degree at Missouri State University.  Then she showed me a list of all the hours I still needed to take, and when I asked her how long she thought it would take for me to finish, she replied, "Three years, at the earliest."

All in all, the meeting left me feeling like I just might cry.  I really didn't like the ACT test, and I haven't taken any sort of test like that, well, since high school.  And, the three year thing didn't strike me as that great of news either.  On a positive note, she said that I could get some of the classes reevaluated to see if I might be able to use some of them for classes towards my degree (Praise the Lord! I have done that, and four more of my classes from Emporia State did get approved towards my degree, so that is wonderful.).  The meeting ended on a very positive note, and she has been a great help to me since that meeting, but when I left I wasn't really feeling that great!  I actually was feeling pretty discouraged and a bit overwhelmed.

When I got back out to my car, I sat there, just digesting all that I had learned.  The Lord is just so funny.  He truly has the best sense of humor of anyone.  He does.  Lots of thoughts were spinning in my head, one of them being, "Well!  Three years at the earliest!  This just makes it seem like all my time at Emporia was just a waste of time!"

And, the Lord replied (not out loud, but that still, small voice inside), "Yeah, because before you were planning to go back to school, it wasn't a waste that you spent two years at Emporia!"

Ha!  God can really put things into perspective, you know what I mean?  That made me laugh because it was just so true!  I mean, I already went to school at Emporia.  I already had those hours and I already had taken those courses.  And, whether I ever went back to school or not, that was already done!  Isn't it funny how we sometimes get upset about things that really don't make any sense at all?  Because, either way, I already spent those two years at Emporia, so even if none of my hours counted towards my degree, that is already done.  Funny!

The next thing I began thinking about was that three years were going to go by whether I went back to school or not.  Time just keeps going.  When you start something, it can seem like it will take so long, but in reality, the next thing you know, it's done.  For example, almost two years ago the Lord began dealing with me about going back to school when Derek started kindergarten.  That seemed like such a long time away, but now it's here.

I have a friend and she and her husband decided in August 2011 they should finish their basement before selling their home.  It was a huge undertaking, as they also have four small children to take care of, in addition to their day-to-day life.  But, they began working on it, and it's been a ton of work, and something they really hope to never do again.  Yet, I talked to her yesterday and they are almost done!  Their basement is almost finished!

What if they had never started?  What if they had decided it would just take too long to finish their basement?  Or it would just be too much work?  What if they had said they just really didn't have time to do a project like that?  They definitely could have legitimately used all those excuses, but if they had, she certainly wouldn't have been telling me yesterday that their basement was almost finished!  No, she may have been telling me, "We sure need to finish our basement before we try to sell our house, but it's just going to take too long" when in reality, she could be almost done!  Do you see what I am saying?  The reason they are almost done is because they took the first step and STARTED!  And, then they took the next step after that, and the next step after that, and...

Praise the Lord!  And, it's the same for me with going back to school.  I would prefer, in my own mind, to be done sooner, but three years is going to go by either way.  And, you know what?  That evening after I got home from that meeting with my adviser the Lord just ministered to my heart to just enjoy this time in my life.  To just enjoy going to school, and being a student.  To just get all that I can out of it, and don't be in such a rush to get to the next thing.  Just enjoy what I'm doing today.  I figure I might as well, and you know what?  I will!

Dry Bones

Well, I thought I was done writing about Diane being born, but apparently I'm not!  When I finished the last one, Jeremy was already asleep in bed.  When I climbed into bed he drowsily said, "What did you write about this time?"  I told him, "Diane" and we both started laughing.  This blog is not just about Diane, but nonetheless here is a story definitely worth sharing.  I had almost forgotten all about it until just a few minutes ago.

Now, as soon as Diane was born, I became a stay-at-home mom.  She was born on a Wednesday, and I worked the Sunday before she was born (the one when I decided I wasn't going to wear maternity clothes to church...Yeah, that one!).  My usual days off were Monday and Tuesday, and then she was born on Wednesday.  So, I truly worked right up until the day she was born.

I thought I would be going back to work, until I was about six months pregnant and the Lord began speaking something different to Jeremy and my hearts.  Not that I really wanted to work, but we used every penny we had as it was, and our expenses would increase with a new baby.  So, I thought I would be going back to work, but the Lord began dealing with us that I was supposed to stay home with Diane and Jeremy would work.  Jeremy was also attending his first year at Rhema Bible Training Center, so he had a lot on his plate.

But, we knew that we knew that we knew that I was supposed to stay home, so even though we didn't know how that was going to work financially, I let them know at work that I wouldn't be returning after Diane was born.  And, that was pretty much that.

I think I mentioned that fact that Diane was eight days late being born.  Well, something amazing happened during those eight days.  Jeremy got called into the office at work and his boss gave him a raise!  Can you believe that the raise he got per month was EXACTLY what I made per month minus $40?  Now, that had to be the Lord!!!  We were so excited that we actually went out to Pizza Hut to celebrate, and we rarely went out to eat at this point in our lives, because we didn't have one extra dollar to spare!  But, nonetheless, we splurged and laughed and celebrated the wonderful thing that the Lord had done while we ate hot, delicious Pizza Hut pan pizza!

Something else extraordinary happened.  At my job I had gotten paid daily, and Jeremy got paid every other week.  So, we used the money from my job to buy gas and groceries and the money from his job to pay our bills and rent.  That had pretty much been our system since getting married, and so once I had Diane, the daily income ceased and it was still a little while until Jeremy got paid.  And, our groceries were at an all-time low.  We hardly had anything in our cupboards or our refrigerator.  We didn't really talk about it, and I don't think I was even really thinking about it.  I was busy just taking care of Diane!

But, Jeremy was thinking about it!  And, he had just heard a message about the story in Ezekiel 37 where Ezekiel spoke to some actual dry bones and told them to live again.  And, amazingly enough, in that true story in the Bible those dry bones came back to life, and they did live again!  If you have never read that story, you ought to look it up and read it some time.  It is really something!  Anyway, the message he heard was all about speaking to the dry bones in your own life, and telling them to live again, and watching God make that happen.

It was about 11:00 at night, and I was asleep and he was awake.  It seems abnormal for us now, because I am such a night owl and he is not, but at that time in our lives, I pretty much fell asleep as soon as Diane was down for the night.  And, he had just gotten home from work.  So, he was up alone at 11:00 at night, and I think he had just fed Diane a bottle.  So anyway, he said he walked right out to our kitchen, laid his hands on one of our kitchen cabinets (that didn't have much food in it) and said, "Dry bones, live again!"  He said it fairly loud and very firm.  Then he said he put his hand on the next cabinet and boldly said, "Dry bones, live again!"  Then he said he walked over to our refrigerator and freezer, put his hand on it, and spoke out these words, "Dry bones, live again!"  Then he went to bed.

Now, he didn't mention a word about this to me or anyone else.  But, the next day was Wednesday.  He had that day off work and we got to go to church together on Wednesday evenings.  So, we went to church that evening like usual, and when we got home, guess what we found?  Lots of bags of groceries setting on our kitchen counters!  And, when we opened our freezer, guess what was in there?  All kinds of frozen food and a couple cans of juice.  And, when we opened our refrigerator, guess what was in there?  Yep, more food.

It was lots and lots of food, and not the food we usually bought (which consisted of nothing fun or extra, because we were on such a tight budget).  No, there was all kinds of fun foods like chicken nuggets, frozen ravioli, noodle packets, cookies, etc.  I can't even remember all the different food, but it was at least a week's worth of meals and food, probably more!  We had locked the front door when we left for church, and we had no idea where all this food had come from!  It was as if an angel from Heaven had put all that food in our kitchen while we were gone at church!

And, that's when Jeremy told me what he had done just the night before!  He told me the whole story about Ezekiel (because I had never heard it).  Then he explained how he had laid hands on our kitchen cabinets and refrigerator and boldly commanded those dry bones to live again.  And, look what God had done!  We were stunned and amazed once again at the goodness of our God!

The phone rang soon after that, or we had a message on our answering machine.  I can't quite remember.  But, come to find out, my dad, step-mom, Maggie, and little sister, Meagan, had been our angels that evening!  They had a key to our apartment, and they had gone out grocery shopping and "bought whatever looked good to them" and brought it by our apartment to surprise us.  Maggie said they just left the food that didn't need to be kept cold on our counter, and had put the refrigerator and freezer food away so that it wouldn't spoil.  They had never done anything like that before, and they never did it again after that.  It was a one time thing!  God had moved on their hearts, and He used them to cause our dry bones live again!  It truly was amazing!

Our First Week Home

So, we left The Doctor's Hospital without seeing our pediatrician, Dr. Pfanstiel.  I was supposed to call him to make an appointment for Diane to see him sometime, but I wasn't sure when.  It was all very unorganized, but we were just so thrilled to have our sweet baby girl, we didn't really think too much about it!

Jeremy had a week off of work, and of course family had offered to stay with us to help us with our little bundle of joy, but being new parents, we thought it would be wonderful to just be home, the three of us.  So, that was the plan.  I had visions of how special it would be, all three of us bonding together, but it really didn't turn out like that at all.

I was nursing Diane, and she just seemed to cry all the time.  I had heard that new parents shouldn't expect to get much sleep, and that newborns were up all the time, so I figured that what we were experiencing was normal.  Diane hardly slept at all, and she just cried.  We had taken a breast-feeding class, and they had assured us that babies only need breast-milk and that breast-milk was best.  Diane didn't seem happy at all, but I didn't connect it with the breast feeding.  On day six her little lips were so chapped, and Jeremy suggested that maybe she needed some water.  She seemed so parched.  I told him that at the class they said that babies just needed breast milk or formula, and not water, so I was sure she didn't need any water.  I later found out that Jeremy had snuck into our bathroom with Diane and dropped little droplets of water into her mouth.  He truly may have saved her life by doing that.

We were continually asking God for wisdom at this point.  Taking care of a baby was harder than I had expected, and I wasn't sure what to do.  Even in my exhausted state, I knew that God would help us.  We needed His wisdom, and I asked Him for it constantly in those first few days at home. 

On the morning of day six we took Diane back out to The Doctor's Hospital.  She was crying so much, barely sleeping, and was jaundice, so we decided we better have her checked out.  At the hospital they looked at her and said she was perfectly normal and that we just needed to make sure and sit her in the sun often because of the jaundice.  They didn't even ask me if I was nursing her, which I now know should have been a top priority question with a jaundice baby, but we didn't know that at the time.

Well, on the night of day six she was crying so much.  I had been constantly trying to feed her all day, but she was so fussy.  Late that night I noticed that she felt pretty warm, so Jeremy got a thermometer and we checked her temperature.  It was 102 degrees!  It was pretty late, at least 11:00 PM, and we weren't quite sure what to do.  Here we were, six day old parents, and not really sure what to do at all.  I was completely exhausted, because I had barely slept at all since we had brought Diane home.  I suggested we call the doctor.  Jeremy suggested we wait and take her into the doctor in the morning.  I didn't think 102 fever was good for a newborn, so I insisted that we call Dr. Pfanstiel.

Well, we were new to all this parenting stuff, and we just looked his number up in the Tulsa phone book and there his name was:  Carl Pfanstiel.  We didn't think to look up the office number, and it wasn't until years later that we actually pieced together what we had done that night.  We actually called our doctor, whom we had never met, right at his house after 11:00 PM!  And, that was when we found out what a wonderful doctor we had!

He answered the phone in a very groggy voice, "Hello." He was definitely sleeping when I called.

I can't remember what I said, but I somehow explained what was going on.  He asked me one thing, very alert at this point, "Why haven't I seen her yet?"

I quickly told him what they had said at The Doctor's Hospital about the doctor on call seeing her.  I told him how we had taken her there that morning and they said she was fine, just a bit jaundice.  But, now she was running this fever and crying constantly.  He didn't answer that, he just said, "What hospital is closest to you?"

I told him we lived in Broken Arrow and he said he would meet us at St Francis Hospital as soon as we could get there.

I hung up the phone with him, and at this point I was almost hysterical.  Dr. Pfanstiel had been very calm on the phone, but I hadn't expected him to be so serious about the situation.  In my sleep-deprived state, I was truly a basket case.  We bundled Diane up and loaded her into the car, and headed to the hospital.  I sat by her in the back seat and prayed in tongues the whole way to the hospital.  Jeremy was very calm, but I was not.

I will never forget walking into that hospital.  Dr. Pfanstiel was already there, and he walked right up to us.  I expected him to take Diane, but instead a nurse led Jeremy somewhere with Diane.  Dr. Pfanstiel quickly walked over to me and firmly laid both his hands right on top of my head and said, "I command peace into this mom in the name of Jesus!"  Then he turned and walked towards the room where they had Diane. Jeremy came and sat out in a chair next to me.  And, I was a lot more calm.  But, then we heard Diane screaming in the room, and it was almost more than I could bear.  My head was spinning from all that had occurred.

It was a long night, but we eventually learned that my milk hadn't come in at all.  I cried when I saw the few drops of milk I got after pumping for thirty minutes.  Our little baby girl had been starving, and she was quite the fighter, which was why she was crying all the time and hardly sleeping.  She was also very jaundiced, and they took her to the infant neo-natal ward and put her under the Bili-Rubin lights right away.  They also hooked a lot of tubes up to her, and put a baby mask over her eyes to block the lights.  It was so sad to see our little tiny baby like that, all hooked up to machines and laying in that baby intensive care room.

Dr. Pfanstiel was concerned about brain damage, but he didn't tell us that until much later.  He truly was a doctor sent from God, so led of the Lord. He didn't tell us that there was a strong chance that Diane had suffered brain damage, due to her being seven days old and basically starving.  No, he just ministered life to us and her the whole time we were at the hospital.

The staff at the hospital put her on a three hour bottle feeding schedule immediately.  We questioned them about this right away, because we thought it seemed odd not to feed her more often if she was so hungry.  They explained that babies thrive on a regular three-hour eating schedule.  "This way, " they explained, "the baby becomes a good eater, and not a snacker.  Babies actually grow and develop better and faster if you feed them every three hours.  After what she has been through, you need to stick with the three-hour schedule when you get home as well."  I remember wondering why no one had told us this earlier.  This seemed like valuable information.  Also, Dr. Pfanstiel gave us the book Babywise by Gary Ezzo and told us to read it and follow the schedule suggested in that book, which, by the way, was also a three-hour feeding schedule.

Diane was only in the hospital a couple of days, and she started to gain weight and the jaundice started going away.  And, I slept.  We had so much favor at that hospital.  God just blessed us so much, almost to the point where I felt guilty.  We lived only about twenty minutes from the hospital, yet they gave us our own room for me to sleep in at night.  I couldn't believe that!  There were parents at that hospital from hundreds of miles away, I'm sure, and yet they gave me a room right down the hall from Diane.  That first night I laid down in that bed and slept harder than I had since Diane was born.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted, and once I knew Diane was being so well taken care of, I slept.  All night long, I slept.

When we got to take Diane home a couple of days later, I put my nose in that Babywise book and I read it constantly over the next couple of weeks.  God answered my cry for wisdom through the words written in that book.  Oh, they helped us so much and Diane just thrived on the Babywise schedule.  It was an answer to our prayers.  God used Dr. Pfanstiel and Babywise in a mighty way in our life at that time, and I am so thankful for both of them!

Also, my mother-in-law, Barbara, came to stay with us for several days after we brought Diane home the second time.  I remember the first morning she was there, waking up to the wonderful smell of blueberry muffins baking downstairs.  It brought such a comfort to me, and to this day the smell of blueberry muffins comforts me and reminds me that God is taking care of us!  Barbara was there, helping take care of Diane and baking blueberry muffins!  A new mom can't ask for anything better than that!

God was so faithful to us!  He brought us through those first two weeks, and now Diane is almost a senior in high school!  To God be all the glory, because as you can tell, we certainly had no idea what we were doing! :) And, if you are going through something hard right now in your own life, and you don't know what to do, just ask God for His wisdom!  He will help you if you ask Him.  Oh yes, He takes GREAT pleasure in helping His kids!  For us, He used a doctor, a book and a mother-in-law.  You never know how He'll do it, but He will give you wisdom when you ask!  You can certainly count on that!

Oh, and as a quick side note, about a year later Dr. Pfanstiel told Jeremy that he wrote The Doctor's Hospital a letter about the way we were treated at their hospital.  He said he should have been called to see Diane after she was born, and that it made no sense that we had taken Diane there the very morning she was admitted to St Francis Hospital, and they did not see the signs of how severely dehydrated and jaundice she was.  I am not sure when The Doctor's Hospital closed, but it wasn't long after that, within a couple of years.  We actually would have had a legal case against them if anything had happened to Diane.  I am so very, very thankful that we had no case against them, and that because of the Lord's goodness, grace and love she is completely healthy and normal.  Yes, God is so, so good! I have so many things to thank Him for, but I could spend the rest of my life thanking Him just for that alone!  Thank you, Lord!

Diane Marie

"Girl, you pregnant!"

I still smile when I think of the skinny black girl saying that to me!  And, I'm so thankful I was pregnant!  It took us a while to adjust to the idea, but the closer it got to my due date, January 23, 1995, the more and more excited we got!  We could hardly wait to meet our daughter.  When we were dating Jeremy told me once, "When we get married, let's name our daughter after you.  Let's name her Diane Marie."  (My middle name is Diane.)  So, it was settled.

Now, we were just POSITIVE that Diane was a boy, and we were going to name him Stephen Paul.  So, when we found out at the ultrasound that Diane was a girl, we were shocked once again!  First the pregnancy, and then we find out she's a girl, not a boy!  But, from that moment on she was Diane Marie, and what a blessing she is in our lives!

Well, in November we traveled from Broken Arrow, OK to Hutchinson, KS to visit Jeremy's grandmother and relatives for Thanksgiving.  I was about seven months pregnant, and it seemed like I could feel every bump in the road on that trip!  That night after we got there, we were laying in bed, and I began having intense pressure in my stomach.  It continued for a couple of hours, and we wondered if I was in labor.  We sure hoped not, as my due date was over two months away, and we began praying.  We hadn't even taken our Lamaze classes yet, and we definitely did not want to have Diane in Hutchinson, away from our mid-wife.

Yes, we had decided on a mid-wife that delivered at The Doctor's Hospital in Tulsa, OK.  Her name was Laura, and she worked under a wonderful, Christian doctor named Dr. Aikman.  Dr. Aikman would be on call during the delivery, and if she needed any assistance he would come in to help.  And, she would stay with us throughout the entire labor and help, since we had decided on a natural delivery, with no drugs or pain medicine at all.

Well, I didn't go into labor that Thanksgiving, but when we got home and had a check-up we learned that Diane had dropped into the birthing position while we were in Hutchinson, and she was ready to come at any time, or so we were told!  Now, my mom had me exactly one month early, so because of that fact and this new fact, everyone was certain that Diane would be born early.

Well, she wasn't!  That little girl was nine days late, and those were a long nine days, as any overdue pregnant woman knows!  My birthday is January 29, and when that came and went with no sign of Diane being born, I was beside myself with anticipation.  The Sunday after my due date had passed I decided I was done wearing maternity clothes.  We were getting ready for church, and I informed Jeremy that I was going to wear my normal clothes that day to church.  I shouldn't be pregnant anymore, and I shouldn't be wearing maternity clothes anymore.  This was my reasoning!  Jeremy didn't say much about that, just that he would meet me downstairs when I was ready.  I tried on just about every non-maternity outfit I thought might possibly fit, and when none of them did, I put on a maternity outfit and stomped downstairs.

"Don't say a word!"  I said to him.

"I wasn't going to," he replied.  Yes, my husband is a very wise man.  And, we left for church.

So, finally on the morning of February 1st, I had the first symptoms of labor.  She was born that night at 9:58 PM, or so.  We quickly learned that The Doctor's Hospital was a very casual, laid-back hospital, and right after Diane was born the nurse asked Jeremy, "What time is it?"  He looked at his watch, which is usually set five minutes fast, and replied, "9:58."  And, then she wrote it on the document for the birth certificate.  We were so surprised by that, and Jeremy tried to tell her that probably wasn't the right time, since his watch was usually set fast, but she just said, "Aw, that's OK.  No big deal."  So we always tell Diane that she was born around 9:58 PM, though we're not sure of the exact time.

Several other strange things happened while we stayed at that hospital, but Diane was our first baby, so we didn't really know exactly how odd it was.  The next peculiar thing was that when we mentioned our pediatrician was Dr. Pfanstiel, they informed us that the doctor on call would see her.  That didn't seem correct, but we trusted them.  And, Dr. Pfanstiel never came to see Diane the whole time we were there, but we just assumed that was normal.

Also, I was very shaky for quite a long while after the birth, probably about 24 hours!  I was so shaky that I couldn't even walk without someone helping me.  Jeremy had fallen into a hard sleep, and I needed to go to the restroom.  It was the middle of the night and I wanted to let him rest, so I called down to the nurse's station to ask if someone could come help me walk to the bathroom.  The nurse said to just go on my own.

"I'm very shaky, and I think I might fall if I do that."  I nervously informed her.

"Well, if you fall, just pull the cord in the bathroom and one of us will come help you."

She seriously said that.  After I hung up with her, I woke Jeremy up and had him help me.  I didn't think falling would be a very good idea.

So, the hospital wasn't that great, but the important thing was that we had our precious, beautiful baby girl, and she was healthy and happy!  To God be the glory!