About a year and five months ago I was at a Wednesday night prayer service. D'Nae, our then 16 year old daughter, was heavy on my heart. She was really struggling, and I didn't seem to know how to help her. We adopted D'Nae when she was almost 10, and throughout the last six years, we had had our ups and downs. But, now she seemed so distant and hard. She was making bad choices, but it wasn't just that. Things weren't good...
So, that night towards the end of the prayer service, I went up front to kneel at the alter and pray for our daughter, to ask God to help her and us. I began by asking God for His wisdom, for His grace, for His help. Towards the end of my prayer, I asked something I wasn't expecting to ask. My request was, "Lord, send someone to help D'Nae." I was surprised after I said it, but then I thought, "Yeah, that's a good prayer." So, I prayed it again, and asked God to help D'Nae through whoever He wanted to use, to send help for her, even if it wasn't directly from Jeremy or me.
Little did I know what would occur about a month later. I won't go through all the heart-wrenching details, but one night things escalated, and D'Nae said she was leaving and never coming back. We begged her to stay at least one more night, thinking things would look better in the morning. She refused, but Jeremy finally convinced her to stay one more night with us, with the promise that he would take her to a teen crisis shelter in the morning. It was hard to sleep that night, but we were exhausted, and I thought that maybe tomorrow they would hook us up with a good counselor that could help us all.
Well, that didn't happen. Jeremy took D'Nae out there that morning, and she adamantly told the social workers there she wanted to be back in foster care. Jeremy pleaded with her for hours, but finally called me saying, "I think we have to let her go." My heart said, "Absolutely not!" but my head knew we couldn't force a 16 year old girl to stay with us if she really wanted to leave. And, at least she would be safe.
They had an opening (an amazing gift from God) at a Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, MO. My heart broke again at the thought of her being in a children's home, but they said she would receive Christian counseling and help. She would be safe. They would watch her 24 hours per day. I was thankful it was a Christian place, since she could have been placed anywhere in the state of Missouri.
The next few days are somewhat of a blur for me, but it was either the first or second night, when I was unable to sleep, that the Lord spoke to my heart. Softly, gently, these words bubbled up inside me, "I'm answering your prayer." Isn't it something when the Lord speaks something to your heart like that how you know exactly what He is referring to? "My prayer?!? My prayer?" I knew just what prayer He was referring to (the one I prayed at that Wednesday night church service) and I was actually a bit outraged at the very thought that He was answering my prayer like this. "You are answering my prayer LIKE THIS? You are sending someone to help D'Nae by having her LEAVE US AND LIVE IN A CHILDREN'S HOME?" But, as I got quiet, the peace of God surrounded and filled me, and I knew He was. I knew He was answering our prayer through this, no matter how hard and awful it seemed to me. I held onto what He told me that night. God was answering my prayer. God WAS helping D'Nae.
When our first therapy session didn't go well (which, by the way, is an understatement), I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When we didn't have any contact with D'Nae for 2 1/2 months, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked like we may never have a relationship with our daughter ever again, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae. When it looked impossible, when it seemed like it could never work, when it appeared all hope was gone, I held onto that promise. He was answering my prayer. He was helping D'Nae.
And, guess what? He was! He did!
I can never express how thankful I am to Him and to our family and friends who supported us through all of this, prayed for us, counseled and listened, loved, hugged, and cared. And, to our social worker, to the staff at the Missouri Baptist Children's Home in Mt. Vernon, to D'Nae's (and our) counselor there. I can never thank them enough. They helped her so much. They helped us so much. Everyone did. The support and love has been overwhelming!
And, now what seemed impossible is happening. After a year and four months, my precious daughter is moving back home, and most importantly, she wants to move back home. I'm so proud of her for working through some really difficult things! She's a strong and amazing young woman, and I know God has wonderful things in store for her, not just in the future, but today!
If you ever wonder if God is in the restoration business, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE IS! If you ever wonder if God can cause impossible things to become possible, I'm here to testify to the fact that HE CAN and HE WILL! If you ever wonder if you can turn to God with your most difficult and overwhelming problem...if you ever wonder if He is able to actually help you with it...well, I'm here to tell you that HE IS and HE WILL.
Thankful does not even begin to describe what is in my heart today, but it is the only word I know to say. Thank you, Lord, for giving me my daughter back, and for helping her when we didn't know how to help her. Thank you for continuing to help us in the days, months, and years ahead. If there's one thing I know about you, Lord, it is that YOU ARE FAITHFUL!
To God be the Glory!
Nikki
