When I was in the fourth grade my mom and I were driving somewhere in my small hometown of Parsons, KS, and we drove by a home where children lived that were in foster care. My mom mentioned something about the house, and I asked her who lived there. She explained to me that kids that didn't have anywhere to live stayed there. I couldn't comprehend that, so I asked her some more questions, and she explained that sometimes children couldn't live with their parents for various reasons, and so they sometimes moved into a group home, and that was what that house was.
This was completely new and disturbing information to me! I couldn't believe that some kids didn't have anywhere to live. Why wouldn't they be with their parents? The only reason I could come up with was that their parents must have died. That was how naive I was at that time in my life. I was so sad to think of those kids living there without a mom and dad to take care of them. I wanted to help them, but I really didn't know what I could do, since I was just a kid myself.
Now, I've always been a night owl. My mom would put me to bed at a certain time each night, but most of the time I didn't go right to sleep. I would just lay in bed trying to sleep, but I would be awake. So, I would lay there and talk to God. I would tell Him about my day, my thoughts, my dreams. After this new realization about some kids not having parents, I began telling God that someday I wanted to adopt one of those kids, and give them a home. I wanted to be a mom to someone that didn't have one. That's what I wanted to do, and that was what I was going to do. I pretty much decided that in the fourth grade.
When Jeremy and I got married, he knew about this. He knew that I wanted to adopt a child some day, and that I really wanted to adopt an older child who wasn't as likely to get adopted. And, I think he was fine with that idea, though I don't think we really talked about it much. And, pretty much as soon as we got married, I would have adopted a child that needed a home. He wasn't as interested, and he was exactly right not to be too, because the time for us to adopt was definitely not right! :) In my heart I knew that it wasn't the right time, but I still wanted to do it, sometimes so much I could hardly bear it, so I began praying and asking God to just lay it on Jeremy's heart when it was the right time for us to adopt someone. I asked God to give him a strong desire to adopt when and if the time was ever right. Because, I was ready to do it right then and that just wasn't what we were supposed to do. Sometimes feelings can really get in the way of being led by God if you let them.
So, throughout the first five or six years of our marriage, I would mention adopting to Jeremy every so often, but he never really seemed too interested in the idea. I would show him a picture of a child waiting to be adopted that I had seen in a newspaper, and he really wouldn't say much. That desire was still very strong inside me, but it wasn't in Jeremy, so I knew the time just wasn't right. How did I know that? I knew it because I had asked the Lord to lay adoption on Jeremy's heart when the time was right, and since he wasn't interested in adopting, I knew the time wasn't right. When the time was right, Jeremy would want to adopt as well. And, that was that, until one day...
It was Jeremy and my anniversary, and we had gone out for the evening, and had decided to stop at the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS. We lived in Olathe, KS at the time. As we were walking into the mall, I picked up a local newspaper-type magazine and as we were driving home, I was flipping through that local magazine and I saw a feature about a child waiting to be adopted. Her name was Jennifer and she was 13 years old. She was so pretty, and my heart just went out to her. I wanted her right there on the spot! I showed her picture to Jeremy, and he didn't say much, something like, "That sure is sad." And, that was all that was said. We got home and I didn't think anything else about it.
About three days later Jeremy called me from work and caught me completely off guard by saying, quite boldly, "Nikki, we have got to adopt one of those children from that magazine! I've been going to their website every day here at work, and looking at all these children that need homes. I look at those kids and it actually makes me cry. (My husband, by the way, does not cry very easily!) We can't help them all, but we could adopt one of them!"
I definitely surprised him by responding, "OK."
Now he was the one caught off guard! He asked, "Don't you at least want to pray about it? It is a pretty big decision to adopt a child!"
And, I said, "Nope, I already want to adopt. You know that. I have since I was a little girl. And, now that you want to also, the timing must be right. Let's do it!"
Jeremy told me later, as we went further down the adoption road, that he never had realized just how much I wanted to adopt a child. It truly was my heart's desire, and now that he wanted to as well, I was happy to tell anyone that would listen how excited I was to adopt a child that needed a home! I didn't mention it a lot to him in the early years of our marriage because I never wanted to put pressure on him. I really wanted it to be the Lord's timing when we did it, and I know that a wife can have a big influence on her husband, so I didn't want to influence him to adopt at the wrong time (even though I really wanted to do it right then!). No, it is always better to wait on the Lord's timing for things, so I guess that is why he never really knew how much I wanted to adopt until that day when he called me from work telling me that he wanted one of those precious children!
So, it was either later that week or the next week that we started the adoption process! Praise the Lord! He is so good, and I am so thankful! Of course, there's a lot more to this story that I will have to continue in another post! :) Love and blessings to you all!
