We pretty much just moved on with our life, and I really didn't think about the baby we miscarried that often. Every now and then I would, and sometimes I would feel sad that we didn't have her, but for the most part, I just went on living my life and serving my God. About two years later I was taking a bath one night when the Lord spoke something very surprising to my heart! Now, it wasn't out loud, but it was definitely Him. I was just taking my bath when He said, "There's one area of your life where you won't do my will."
Now, if you know me, or if you've been reading my other posts in this blog, you know that got my attention. I mean, it really got my attention! I only want to do what God wants, no matter what, and so for Him to say that there was an area in my life where I wouldn't do His will... Well, I just didn't like hearing that at all! I instantly said, "What is it, Lord?"
And He replied, "You decided that you weren't going to have any more children." He really emphasized the "you's" when He spoke that to my heart.
I thought about that for a minute and realized that was exactly what I had done. I hadn't consulted Him one little bit. I had just decided, all on my own, that I wouldn't get pregnant again, and that I would never go through a miscarriage again because I wouldn't ever even be pregnant again. Wow! It was all as clear as a bell now that the Lord mentioned it to me, but I can honestly say that I had not realized what I had done. As I sat there, thinking about that, I also saw how prideful I had been. I had decided that I would take care of myself by not getting pregnant. But, I had a Heavenly Father who wanted to take care of me, and I hadn't even let Him.
"I'm so sorry, Lord. You know I only want to do your will." And, then I said the thing that was really hard for me to say. I said, "Lord, if you want Jeremy and me to have another baby, we will." And I meant it.
God is just so good, and He is so very, very patient. I mean, He IS Patience. That is just who He is. Isn't it amazing that He gave me two years to heal before He even mentioned that to me? Two years! What a wonderful, loving God we serve. He's so kind, and so very, very patient with His children. If people really knew how good and loving He is, everyone would serve Him in an instant. He is, well, He is, in all senses of the word, LOVE.
Anyway, I was still quite nervous about the thought of becoming pregnant, but I knew that if the Lord wanted us to have another baby, we would. Thankfully, He hadn't said anything about us having another baby after I said that back to him in the bathtub, so I just went on with life and didn't think too much about it. Well, I did think a little about it, because at that time I was on some medicine that a person couldn't be on if they were pregnant. So, I started thinking maybe I should get off that medicine. I knew my doctor wouldn't be happy with the idea, especially if I told him I was thinking about becoming pregnant, so I just kept pushing the thought about getting off that medicine aside. I knew it would be a big issue with my doctor, and I didn't want to deal with that!
Meanwhile, I saw in The Word of Faith magazine, distributed by Kenneth Hagin Ministries, that Mrs. Lynette Hagin was going to be having her first ever Women's Conference in September of that year, which was 2001. I sensed in my spirit that I should go. I kept thinking about it, so I finally mentioned the idea to Jeremy. He still had that very demanding work schedule, and in order for me to go, he would have to take off work and watch the kids while I was gone. I didn't think he would want to do that, but as soon as I mentioned the idea to him, he said, "I think you should go. I'll take off work and watch the kids." It was settled.
So, I registered for the Thursday through Saturday conference, he took off work and I went! I didn't know what to expect that Thursday evening at the first service, but I was so excited! Mrs. Hagin ministered that evening on the army of the Lord and how we're all a part of that army. And, she started talking about how when you're in battle in a natural army, you can't have any fear. Fear cripples you, she explained. You have to boldly fight your enemy, and fear is a hindrance. She did an alter call at the end, and said it was time for all the women who had fear in their lives in any area to come down to the front to get set free from that fear.
Oh, it was a wonderful service, and I was so excited to see that all these ladies were going to be set free from fear. I was sitting toward the back of the church, and I was praying in agreement with what she was saying, asking the Lord to set these ladies that were going down free from all the fear in their lives. That's when the Lord spoke to my heart, "You need to go down there."
"Me?" I questioned. I couldn't think of one area in my life where I had fear. Fear was something that I really didn't mess around with, and if I started to feel fear in any area of my life, I pretty much dealt with it. So, I was pretty surprised that He would want me to go down to the front.
"Yes," He said, "You have fear in your life about having another baby."
"Oh," I thought, "That's exactly right." The Lord truly knows us better than we know ourselves. So, I ran down to the front.
It sounds long when I write it all out, but it happened very quickly. And, can you believe that when I got down to the front, Mrs. Hagin was just getting ready to lay hands on her very first person, and she walked straight over to ME? She laid her hands on me, and commanded any fear to leave my life. That was pretty much it, but oh my, it was powerful. I left that service different than when I came into it! I left that entire weekend different than when I came. Completely and totally changed, from the inside out. And, the most amazing thing happened the following Monday morning when I was back at home again. And, I will share that story in my next blog! :) So, you'll just have to keep reading if you want to hear the rest...
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
The Heart Break
So, when we moved from Broken Arrow, OK to Olathe, KS in 1999, Diane was four and Daniel was about 7 or 8 months old. I was also pregnant. After moving I found a doctor, and we made a lot of plans involving our new baby! We even chose Diane's preschool based on how close it was to our house. I remember thinking, "I can just put Daniel and the baby in a stroller, and walk to the preschool to pick up Diane." I thought the baby was a girl, and we were very excited when I was four and a half months pregnant. It was the day of the ultrasound to find out for sure if she was a girl or a boy. The pregnancy had been going well. I had spotted a tiny, tiny bit a couple of weeks earlier, but it wasn't anything major. I mean, it could hardly have even been called spotting, and it only happened that one day.
Jeremy had a pretty intense work schedule at this point, but he took off work. We decided he would stay home with the kids and I would go to the ultrasound alone. I drove to the office, and they got me all hooked up to the ultrasound machine. I didn't know the doctor very well, since we had just moved there, and I can't even remember his name. But, after the ultrasound began, he turned to me and said, "There isn't a heartbeat."
My mind couldn't comprehend what he meant, so I replied, "You mean you can't find the heartbeat?" Sometimes that can happen when they are just listening for a heartbeat with a stethoscope, so I thought maybe it could happen with an ultrasound machine too.
"No," he gently replied. "There isn't a heartbeat. The baby has died."
My head started spinning, and I really didn't know what to say or think.
"I'm sorry," he said. Then he started telling me that I was going to need some sort of an operation to take the baby out, called a DNC or something like that. I had never heard of that, and I don't even remember what I was thinking. I think I was in a daze, at this point. So, to make a long story short, I called Jeremy, shared the sad news, and a few hours later I was having a surgery to take my precious baby out. It was all so sad, and didn't even seem like it was happening.
After the surgery, I remember coming home and rocking my sweet little baby Daniel, and just thanking the Lord that I had Diane and Daniel. I was very blessed that I had two children, a girl and a boy. I reminded myself that some people can't even have one baby, let alone two, and that I had so much to be thankful for. Of course, I was still so sad about the baby. We hadn't planned her, but I had grown pretty attached to her over the last four months! By the way, they couldn't tell if the baby was a girl or a boy, so I just say "she" because that is what I think she is in Heaven right now. I know I will meet her when I get there!
After rocking Daniel, I walked into our bathroom, looked into the bathroom mirror, and said to my image in the mirror, "I will never get pregnant again, because I never want to go through this loss again." And, in my mind, it was settled. I later shared my thoughts with Jeremy, and he was fine with us not having any more children as well.
Not the best story, I know, but that's what happened. And, I was pretty OK with not having any more kids. A few months after that happened, I started having some health problems, and the doctor I was seeing at that time said she thought that they had probably caused the miscarriage. I remember her looking at me so intently and telling me that I shouldn't try to have any more children, that a baby just wouldn't grow in my uterus because of these health problems. She warned me not to become pregnant again.
It seems funny to say now, but I was just fine with this information. We had already decided not to have anymore kids after that miscarriage, so it lots of ways, it didn't really matter to me that the doctor had said she didn't think I could ever carry a baby again. I guess in a way it was just a validation of what I was already planning, which was to never become pregnant again.
Thankfully, that is not the end of the story. That's the great thing about serving God. It will ALWAYS end in victory, and not defeat! ALWAYS! Even death ends in victory for the Christian, because then we just go on to what the Bible says is FAR BETTER than anything we've ever known or experienced here on this Earth! Praise the Lord! So, if you want to hear the rest of this story (and there is quite a bit more to it!), you'll have to keep reading! Have a blessed day!
Jeremy had a pretty intense work schedule at this point, but he took off work. We decided he would stay home with the kids and I would go to the ultrasound alone. I drove to the office, and they got me all hooked up to the ultrasound machine. I didn't know the doctor very well, since we had just moved there, and I can't even remember his name. But, after the ultrasound began, he turned to me and said, "There isn't a heartbeat."
My mind couldn't comprehend what he meant, so I replied, "You mean you can't find the heartbeat?" Sometimes that can happen when they are just listening for a heartbeat with a stethoscope, so I thought maybe it could happen with an ultrasound machine too.
"No," he gently replied. "There isn't a heartbeat. The baby has died."
My head started spinning, and I really didn't know what to say or think.
"I'm sorry," he said. Then he started telling me that I was going to need some sort of an operation to take the baby out, called a DNC or something like that. I had never heard of that, and I don't even remember what I was thinking. I think I was in a daze, at this point. So, to make a long story short, I called Jeremy, shared the sad news, and a few hours later I was having a surgery to take my precious baby out. It was all so sad, and didn't even seem like it was happening.
After the surgery, I remember coming home and rocking my sweet little baby Daniel, and just thanking the Lord that I had Diane and Daniel. I was very blessed that I had two children, a girl and a boy. I reminded myself that some people can't even have one baby, let alone two, and that I had so much to be thankful for. Of course, I was still so sad about the baby. We hadn't planned her, but I had grown pretty attached to her over the last four months! By the way, they couldn't tell if the baby was a girl or a boy, so I just say "she" because that is what I think she is in Heaven right now. I know I will meet her when I get there!
After rocking Daniel, I walked into our bathroom, looked into the bathroom mirror, and said to my image in the mirror, "I will never get pregnant again, because I never want to go through this loss again." And, in my mind, it was settled. I later shared my thoughts with Jeremy, and he was fine with us not having any more children as well.
Not the best story, I know, but that's what happened. And, I was pretty OK with not having any more kids. A few months after that happened, I started having some health problems, and the doctor I was seeing at that time said she thought that they had probably caused the miscarriage. I remember her looking at me so intently and telling me that I shouldn't try to have any more children, that a baby just wouldn't grow in my uterus because of these health problems. She warned me not to become pregnant again.
It seems funny to say now, but I was just fine with this information. We had already decided not to have anymore kids after that miscarriage, so it lots of ways, it didn't really matter to me that the doctor had said she didn't think I could ever carry a baby again. I guess in a way it was just a validation of what I was already planning, which was to never become pregnant again.
Thankfully, that is not the end of the story. That's the great thing about serving God. It will ALWAYS end in victory, and not defeat! ALWAYS! Even death ends in victory for the Christian, because then we just go on to what the Bible says is FAR BETTER than anything we've ever known or experienced here on this Earth! Praise the Lord! So, if you want to hear the rest of this story (and there is quite a bit more to it!), you'll have to keep reading! Have a blessed day!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Forty Days Until School Starts, um, FOR ME!
Well, school starts for me in forty days! Interesting. I'm forty years old, and in forty days I will be starting school again. :) Ha! Things like that always seem to happen when I'm writing this blog! Did I ever tell you my class schedule? I don't think so. I'm taking Computers for Learning, American Democracy and Citizenship, The Language of Music,
Introduction to Multicultural Education and Diversity, Introduction to Elementary Education and Clinical/Field Experience (where I will actually go into the classroom twice a week, and I will be in Branson, by the way!) and
Development of the Early Childhood and Elementary School Student. Seventeen hours! My adviser recommended that I start out with a light load. Yeah, sometimes I'm not that great at following advice. :) But, on the other hand, if I take 17 hours this semester, and 16 hours each semester after that, I can student teach in just 2 1/2 years, so I think it's worth it.
Going back to school. It's interesting the comments I get about it. Let me share a few.
"Whew! I'm glad it's you and not me!"
"I sure wouldn't want to have to study again!"
"How long did you say it's going to take again?"
"That sounds like quite a load you're going to be taking."
"You sure are going to get tired of that drive from Branson to Springfield each day!"
And, here's the thing. I agree with all that! I'll think, "Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to go back to school and study and take tests again? Do I really want to do that?" Truthfully, it doesn't sound like much fun doing all the WORK of it. And I'll think, "I could just get a job and actually earn money now that all my kids are in school." But, the problem is, the job that I want to get requires a teaching degree. Because, what I really, really want to do is teach. So....
I'm going to go back to school and study and take tests and write papers. I'm going to drive an hour or so one way each day Monday through Friday so that I can take 17 hours of classes. While my five kids are doing their homework, I will be doing mine also. And, most importantly, I believe it is what the Lord wants me to do, so I know His grace is going to be there each and every step of the way. I know that I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, because I do have the greater One living on the inside of me, and He's helping me. Every step of the way, He is helping me! I'm so thankful for that! I'm so thankful to HIM!
And, one thing that excites me is that I get to learn all of these things now. I will be an up-to-date teacher, learning all the things that college students right out of high school are learning. But, I will also have twenty years of life experience on top of that. I think that actually puts me a step ahead, even if I don't know how to make a power point presentation on the computer, at least not yet.
And, I'm learning that I don't have to be perfect. My older son and I have a lot of similarities. When he was three years old, he could make basket after basket in a full-size basketball goal. I am not exaggerating. He seriously would make more baskets than he would miss. Three years old! And, we didn't even work with him. It just came natural. So, what did Jeremy and I do? We signed him up to play basketball! Well, he hated it! We would get to the game, and he would actually stand in the middle of the court and not move. It was crazy! Week after week, the same thing. He would not play!
When we asked him why he wouldn't play and shoot the basket, he told us it was because he was nervous he would miss, and he didn't want to let his team down. Three years old, and that is what he is thinking! The thing that he couldn't see was that if he didn't try to make a basket, he missed every time. The whole "You can never make a shot if you never take a shot" thing. His second grade teacher really nailed it when she told me, "The thing I notice about Daniel is that he never wants to answer a question until he is 100% sure that he is right."
I can be a lot like that. When I take a test, for example, I want to get every question on the test correct. I don't even want to miss one! Well, let me tell you, I just had to take this huge College Base Test in order to enter the elementary education program at MSU, and I did not get every question correct. Not even close. I may not have even passed part of it. But that's OK, because even if I didn't pass this time, I will pass it. I'll just have to take it again, and do better. :)
Jeremy likes to watch NBA Basketball, and I may have this wrong, but I think a team called The Heat won the playoffs this year. I watched with him, but now I can't quite remember all the details (Imagine that!). Anyway, their coach says something neat sometimes when they lose a game, "Losing is just practicing for winning the next time," or something like that. I like that, because every time you lose, you know a little better what to do the next time to help you win. You know how to play just a little better, because you saw what you did wrong the last time. But, you've got to get out there and play the game. You can never win a game that you don't play. And, you can never pass a test that you don't take.
So, these are some of my thoughts forty days before I start college again. When it all comes down, here's the thing. I've looked at the cost of going back to college (and when I say cost, I am not talking about financially, though of course, there is that aspect of going back to college as well), and this is what I've decided. It's worth it.
Going back to school. It's interesting the comments I get about it. Let me share a few.
"Whew! I'm glad it's you and not me!"
"I sure wouldn't want to have to study again!"
"How long did you say it's going to take again?"
"That sounds like quite a load you're going to be taking."
"You sure are going to get tired of that drive from Branson to Springfield each day!"
And, here's the thing. I agree with all that! I'll think, "Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to go back to school and study and take tests again? Do I really want to do that?" Truthfully, it doesn't sound like much fun doing all the WORK of it. And I'll think, "I could just get a job and actually earn money now that all my kids are in school." But, the problem is, the job that I want to get requires a teaching degree. Because, what I really, really want to do is teach. So....
I'm going to go back to school and study and take tests and write papers. I'm going to drive an hour or so one way each day Monday through Friday so that I can take 17 hours of classes. While my five kids are doing their homework, I will be doing mine also. And, most importantly, I believe it is what the Lord wants me to do, so I know His grace is going to be there each and every step of the way. I know that I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, because I do have the greater One living on the inside of me, and He's helping me. Every step of the way, He is helping me! I'm so thankful for that! I'm so thankful to HIM!
And, one thing that excites me is that I get to learn all of these things now. I will be an up-to-date teacher, learning all the things that college students right out of high school are learning. But, I will also have twenty years of life experience on top of that. I think that actually puts me a step ahead, even if I don't know how to make a power point presentation on the computer, at least not yet.
And, I'm learning that I don't have to be perfect. My older son and I have a lot of similarities. When he was three years old, he could make basket after basket in a full-size basketball goal. I am not exaggerating. He seriously would make more baskets than he would miss. Three years old! And, we didn't even work with him. It just came natural. So, what did Jeremy and I do? We signed him up to play basketball! Well, he hated it! We would get to the game, and he would actually stand in the middle of the court and not move. It was crazy! Week after week, the same thing. He would not play!
When we asked him why he wouldn't play and shoot the basket, he told us it was because he was nervous he would miss, and he didn't want to let his team down. Three years old, and that is what he is thinking! The thing that he couldn't see was that if he didn't try to make a basket, he missed every time. The whole "You can never make a shot if you never take a shot" thing. His second grade teacher really nailed it when she told me, "The thing I notice about Daniel is that he never wants to answer a question until he is 100% sure that he is right."
I can be a lot like that. When I take a test, for example, I want to get every question on the test correct. I don't even want to miss one! Well, let me tell you, I just had to take this huge College Base Test in order to enter the elementary education program at MSU, and I did not get every question correct. Not even close. I may not have even passed part of it. But that's OK, because even if I didn't pass this time, I will pass it. I'll just have to take it again, and do better. :)
Jeremy likes to watch NBA Basketball, and I may have this wrong, but I think a team called The Heat won the playoffs this year. I watched with him, but now I can't quite remember all the details (Imagine that!). Anyway, their coach says something neat sometimes when they lose a game, "Losing is just practicing for winning the next time," or something like that. I like that, because every time you lose, you know a little better what to do the next time to help you win. You know how to play just a little better, because you saw what you did wrong the last time. But, you've got to get out there and play the game. You can never win a game that you don't play. And, you can never pass a test that you don't take.
So, these are some of my thoughts forty days before I start college again. When it all comes down, here's the thing. I've looked at the cost of going back to college (and when I say cost, I am not talking about financially, though of course, there is that aspect of going back to college as well), and this is what I've decided. It's worth it.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A Christmas Eve Miracle
It was Christmas Eve 1999, and I remember it well. I had to work at Walmart that day. It was a very easy day at the service desk, unlike the day AFTER Christmas, and everyone was definitely in the Christmas spirit. I was sad to be away from Jeremy and the kids, but at least I got off at 7:00 PM, unlike everyone else that worked that day. The store did close at 7:00 PM, but everyone else had to stay to clean up in preparation for the day after Christmas. I got to leave because my availability on that day of the week was only until 7:00 PM. So, I was the only one leaving at 7:00 PM, and trust me, my co-workers kept giving me a hard time about it, too! I didn't mind though! I just wanted to get home to my family! It was almost Christmas!
Whew! Anyway, now that we have that straight, on with the story. So , I got off work, and started out the Walmart door. I was still in my customer-service mode, and feeling quite festive and happy! I couldn't wait to get home to see Jeremy, Diane and Daniel. I got about 20 feet away from the Walmart door and I saw a man, about my age, walking towards the door. I quickly told him, "Oh, I'm so sorry, but we're closed for the evening. We won't be opening again until the day after Christmas." It was pretty dark outside, and although some customers were loading up their vehicles with the treasures they had just purchased, it was mostly just him and me standing there.
He replied, "Oh no, that's not good. A friend just dropped me off here and now I don't have a ride home."
Hmmm, that's not good. If Jeremy had been there, I could have offered him a ride home, but I certainly wasn't going to do that since I was alone. I did respond to the man and say something like, "Sorry to hear that. I think there is a pay phone right by our door." Guess he would just have to call someone to come get him.
Now, the employees at Walmart parked way out at the end of the parking lot, in the far corner, so it was quite a walk from where I was. What I should have done at this moment was turn around and walk back inside the store. But, I didn't think of that. I just wanted to get home, and so I turned to start walking to my car, and the man followed me. I thought that was odd, but I guessed he was just going to walk on home instead of call someone. Maybe he lived close.
Right then, much to my surprise, Jeremy and the kids pulled up in our mini van. Jeremy opened the passenger side door, which was just a few feet away from me, and said, "Get in!"
I was so surprised to see him. He never picked me up at work, and there was no reason for him to be there. I had the car to drive myself home. But, I quickly thought how wonderful this was, because now we could offer that man a ride home. I started to explain the man's situation to Jeremy, but he simply said again, "Nikki, get in the van!"
"OK," I thought. He sure is anxious for me to get inside the van. I'll just explain the situation once I get inside. So, I got in and he said, "Close the door." So I did, and he drove straight across the parking lot, towards our car that was parked in the employee parking.
"Wait a minute, Honey. I want to tell you something," I said.
"No," he said, "Who was that man you were talking to? I didn't like the way he was looking at you."
"What do you mean?" I replied, confused, "He just came here to shop, and I told him we were closed and he said that he didn't have a ride home. A friend dropped him off. I think he is going to walk home, and it's so cold I was thinking maybe we could give him a ride, now that you're here."
Jeremy drove over to where our car was and parked. "No, I didn't like the look he had on his face when he was looking at you. Let's just watch him a minute and see what he does," he said, locking our van doors.
We were pretty far away from where the man was by this point, and we sat and watched him. He walked right over to a beat-up car, opened the door, got inside and drove away, all by himself. I couldn't believe it. I was completely dumb-founded.
Jeremy and I were both pretty shaken up at this point, as the realization of what had just happened sunk in. Diane and Daniel were oblivious in the back seat. Oh my! We sat in the parking lot, and I asked Jeremy why he had come to pick me up, since it had not been planned and I had the car right here. He explained that he had taken the kids to McDonald's that day to play in their play area while I was at work. As he was sitting there, this idea popped into his head. He said he thought it was the Lord saying, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today." He said he quickly dismissed the idea, since there was really no reason to do that. But, later at home, he heard it again, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today." He said it wasn't a very strong thought, and didn't seem pressing at all. He dismissed it again. But, the third time the thought came, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today" he decided he would do it.
So, he loaded the kids back up again, drove to Walmart, and pulled up exactly as I was starting to walk to my car, with that strange man following me. Wow! I mean, we couldn't have planned it out any better if we had tried. He got there at exactly the right time to "pick me up from work," even though I already had the car there. Who does that? No one, except for a Godly husband who is definitely listening to the voice of God and protecting his silly, naive wife, who should have thought to go back inside with that man there, but didn't. No, I was just going to walk on out to my car, all by myself, with that man following me all the way.
God knew exactly what I was going to do, and He protected me! That Christmas Eve, and all day Christmas, we just couldn't stop thanking God for His protection! What would have happened if Jeremy hadn't "picked me up" from work that day? I am so very, very thankful that I do not know. God is so good, and He protects His children even when they're being foolish! Thank you, Lord! To God be all the glory!!!
Whew! Anyway, now that we have that straight, on with the story. So , I got off work, and started out the Walmart door. I was still in my customer-service mode, and feeling quite festive and happy! I couldn't wait to get home to see Jeremy, Diane and Daniel. I got about 20 feet away from the Walmart door and I saw a man, about my age, walking towards the door. I quickly told him, "Oh, I'm so sorry, but we're closed for the evening. We won't be opening again until the day after Christmas." It was pretty dark outside, and although some customers were loading up their vehicles with the treasures they had just purchased, it was mostly just him and me standing there.
He replied, "Oh no, that's not good. A friend just dropped me off here and now I don't have a ride home."
Hmmm, that's not good. If Jeremy had been there, I could have offered him a ride home, but I certainly wasn't going to do that since I was alone. I did respond to the man and say something like, "Sorry to hear that. I think there is a pay phone right by our door." Guess he would just have to call someone to come get him.
Now, the employees at Walmart parked way out at the end of the parking lot, in the far corner, so it was quite a walk from where I was. What I should have done at this moment was turn around and walk back inside the store. But, I didn't think of that. I just wanted to get home, and so I turned to start walking to my car, and the man followed me. I thought that was odd, but I guessed he was just going to walk on home instead of call someone. Maybe he lived close.
Right then, much to my surprise, Jeremy and the kids pulled up in our mini van. Jeremy opened the passenger side door, which was just a few feet away from me, and said, "Get in!"
I was so surprised to see him. He never picked me up at work, and there was no reason for him to be there. I had the car to drive myself home. But, I quickly thought how wonderful this was, because now we could offer that man a ride home. I started to explain the man's situation to Jeremy, but he simply said again, "Nikki, get in the van!"
"OK," I thought. He sure is anxious for me to get inside the van. I'll just explain the situation once I get inside. So, I got in and he said, "Close the door." So I did, and he drove straight across the parking lot, towards our car that was parked in the employee parking.
"Wait a minute, Honey. I want to tell you something," I said.
"No," he said, "Who was that man you were talking to? I didn't like the way he was looking at you."
"What do you mean?" I replied, confused, "He just came here to shop, and I told him we were closed and he said that he didn't have a ride home. A friend dropped him off. I think he is going to walk home, and it's so cold I was thinking maybe we could give him a ride, now that you're here."
Jeremy drove over to where our car was and parked. "No, I didn't like the look he had on his face when he was looking at you. Let's just watch him a minute and see what he does," he said, locking our van doors.
We were pretty far away from where the man was by this point, and we sat and watched him. He walked right over to a beat-up car, opened the door, got inside and drove away, all by himself. I couldn't believe it. I was completely dumb-founded.
Jeremy and I were both pretty shaken up at this point, as the realization of what had just happened sunk in. Diane and Daniel were oblivious in the back seat. Oh my! We sat in the parking lot, and I asked Jeremy why he had come to pick me up, since it had not been planned and I had the car right here. He explained that he had taken the kids to McDonald's that day to play in their play area while I was at work. As he was sitting there, this idea popped into his head. He said he thought it was the Lord saying, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today." He said he quickly dismissed the idea, since there was really no reason to do that. But, later at home, he heard it again, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today." He said it wasn't a very strong thought, and didn't seem pressing at all. He dismissed it again. But, the third time the thought came, "You should go pick Nikki up at work today" he decided he would do it.
So, he loaded the kids back up again, drove to Walmart, and pulled up exactly as I was starting to walk to my car, with that strange man following me. Wow! I mean, we couldn't have planned it out any better if we had tried. He got there at exactly the right time to "pick me up from work," even though I already had the car there. Who does that? No one, except for a Godly husband who is definitely listening to the voice of God and protecting his silly, naive wife, who should have thought to go back inside with that man there, but didn't. No, I was just going to walk on out to my car, all by myself, with that man following me all the way.
God knew exactly what I was going to do, and He protected me! That Christmas Eve, and all day Christmas, we just couldn't stop thanking God for His protection! What would have happened if Jeremy hadn't "picked me up" from work that day? I am so very, very thankful that I do not know. God is so good, and He protects His children even when they're being foolish! Thank you, Lord! To God be all the glory!!!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Walmart
"Find out what God wants you to do and do that."
It is easy to say. But, it takes trust to actually do. Trust in God, really. So, God had made it pretty clear to us that He wanted us to send Diane to a private Christian school, even though there seemed to be a perfectly fine public school a few blocks from our house. And, from the outside, the public school looked so much nicer, and offered a huge benefit that the private school did not. It was completely free.
But, when you're following God, money can not be your deciding factor on things. No, the only thing that can be your deciding factor is what God wants you to do, whether it seems like a financially wise idea or not. God always knows best, and He always has your best interest at heart. It's true. I feel a side note coming...
Soon after I got filled with the Holy Spirit and started living for God, I spent a lot of time visiting Christian bookstores. I mean, I wanted to go into every Christian bookstore that I could find to see all the gems they had. I was so hungry to know God even more. I "happened" to go into the Christian bookstore in my hometown of Parsons, KS, and I "happened" to buy this little 2x3 inch card that had Jeremiah 29:11 written on it. Now, I know that is a very popular verse, and people quote it often. It is such a wonderful, wonderful promise from God!
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Wow! Well, I bought that little card. I think it was a dollar, and it may have been the best dollar I have ever spent. I put that card in my little light blue Chevy Spectrum, right in front of the steering wheel. You know, that plastic "window" where you can see your speed and how much gas you have left. I set that card right there. And, every time I got in my car, I read that card out loud. And, as I was driving here and there around town, I would say that scripture. I would say, "For God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me, and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11" I have no idea how many times I spoke those words out loud, but it was at least hundreds.
And, that verse got inside of me. I mean, it truly changed me from the inside out. No can ever convince me that God doesn't have a good plan for me and for my life. No one can ever convince me that God doesn't love me, and want wonderful things for me. Why? Because that verse has gotten so rooted into my heart nothing can take it out. And, I didn't realize it at the time, but it helped me so much when a few short months later He started talking with Jeremy and me about attending Bible School. Because when you believe Jeremiah 29:11, you have absolutely no problem obeying the Lord. It can still be hard to do what God wants you to do, but you are so convinced that what He wants you to do is best, you wouldn't dream of not doing it!
Yes, God had a lot of wisdom having me meditate and read that verse over and over again. It's still in me today. I only want to do what He wants me to do. I only want to be where He wants me to be. I haven't followed Him perfectly over these last 20 years, but God knows my heart, and I have truly endeavored to follow Him always.
OK, end of side note! :) So yes, the private Christian school was not free. Interestingly enough, it was the same cost as Jeremy and my tuition had been at Rhema Bible Training Center. This would cause my mind to go tilt. I would think, "She could be going to Bible School for the same cost as we're going to be paying for her to go to kindergarten!" Little did we know in a few short years we would be paying for three kids' tuition at that very school. And, something funny about that was that Olathe Christian School actually had a deal that if you pay for three kids' tuition your fourth one is free. Only we didn't have a fourth one to enroll! That can definitely be a hard blow for a bargain-hunter like me. It didn't bother Jeremy one bit, and he would laugh when I would say, "But, if we just had one more child enrolled there, they could go free!" Ha!
So, Diane's first year of school we decided that I would get a job at Walmart as a cashier to pay for her schooling. I worked 16 hours a week, and soon after starting they moved me over to the service desk. I really enjoyed working the service desk. And, I got wonderful opportunities to share about the Lord while I was working there. But, it was pretty hard for Jeremy and me to do in the beginning...
At the time we went to a church where most of the husbands worked and the wives stayed home with the kids. Have you ever noticed that different churches have different ideas about things? I don't mean that badly, I just mean that some churches may have a lot of stay-at-home moms, whereas at another church a lot of the moms have careers. We were at the stay-at-home mom church. And, to be quite honest, I kind of had the idea that it was best for the husband to work and the wife to stay home with the kids also. I wondered if this idea could really be from the Lord. Should I really get a job to pay for Diane to go to kindergarten?
Around this same time, I was reading the Bible, not really thinking about the whole work thing. And, praise the Lord, He spoke to my heart. He said, "Have you ever noticed that the Proverbs 31 woman worked outside of the home?" The Proverbs 31 woman. Aw, yes. That wonderful passage of scripture that Christian women read, sometimes with much trepidation, wondering how they could ever live up to this woman that the Bible calls "The Virtuous Woman."
I certainly had not noticed that, and I didn't even think it was true. "Could that possibly be true?" I questioned the Lord. He responded, "Look for yourself."
So, I flipped through my Bible to Proverbs 31 and began reading. I started in verse 10, where it begins talking about this Godly woman. And, sure enough, I got down to verse 16 and noticed that it said, "...out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard." At this point the Lord questioned me, saying, "Out of whose earnings?" And I responded, "Hers!" I was so amazed!
I continued reading and got down to verse 24 and saw that it said, "She makes linen garments and sells them..." Wow! She had her own clothing business! At this point, she became even more impressive to me than she already had been! She seemed to be able to do so much, and she was graced to do it all. And, I got such a peace in my heart. And, I knew if it was what God wanted me to do, God would grace me too! Yes, the Lord did want me to get a job to pay for Diane's kindergarten year.
Why did I share all this? I think it is because sometimes the Lord wants you to do something, and it might not really be the "popular" thing to do, even among your closest friends. I think that could be when it's hardest to do what He wants you to do, because you think that your closest friends would surely agree with you. But, it's always a good idea to follow Him, no matter what. Oh, He's so good and so wonderful, and you can never go wrong following His leading! Because, just like Jeremiah 29:11 was written to ME, it was also written to YOU! So, I worked at Walmart for almost exactly a year, and we used my earnings to pay for Diane's tuition.
It is easy to say. But, it takes trust to actually do. Trust in God, really. So, God had made it pretty clear to us that He wanted us to send Diane to a private Christian school, even though there seemed to be a perfectly fine public school a few blocks from our house. And, from the outside, the public school looked so much nicer, and offered a huge benefit that the private school did not. It was completely free.
But, when you're following God, money can not be your deciding factor on things. No, the only thing that can be your deciding factor is what God wants you to do, whether it seems like a financially wise idea or not. God always knows best, and He always has your best interest at heart. It's true. I feel a side note coming...
Soon after I got filled with the Holy Spirit and started living for God, I spent a lot of time visiting Christian bookstores. I mean, I wanted to go into every Christian bookstore that I could find to see all the gems they had. I was so hungry to know God even more. I "happened" to go into the Christian bookstore in my hometown of Parsons, KS, and I "happened" to buy this little 2x3 inch card that had Jeremiah 29:11 written on it. Now, I know that is a very popular verse, and people quote it often. It is such a wonderful, wonderful promise from God!
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Wow! Well, I bought that little card. I think it was a dollar, and it may have been the best dollar I have ever spent. I put that card in my little light blue Chevy Spectrum, right in front of the steering wheel. You know, that plastic "window" where you can see your speed and how much gas you have left. I set that card right there. And, every time I got in my car, I read that card out loud. And, as I was driving here and there around town, I would say that scripture. I would say, "For God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me, and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11" I have no idea how many times I spoke those words out loud, but it was at least hundreds.
And, that verse got inside of me. I mean, it truly changed me from the inside out. No can ever convince me that God doesn't have a good plan for me and for my life. No one can ever convince me that God doesn't love me, and want wonderful things for me. Why? Because that verse has gotten so rooted into my heart nothing can take it out. And, I didn't realize it at the time, but it helped me so much when a few short months later He started talking with Jeremy and me about attending Bible School. Because when you believe Jeremiah 29:11, you have absolutely no problem obeying the Lord. It can still be hard to do what God wants you to do, but you are so convinced that what He wants you to do is best, you wouldn't dream of not doing it!
Yes, God had a lot of wisdom having me meditate and read that verse over and over again. It's still in me today. I only want to do what He wants me to do. I only want to be where He wants me to be. I haven't followed Him perfectly over these last 20 years, but God knows my heart, and I have truly endeavored to follow Him always.
OK, end of side note! :) So yes, the private Christian school was not free. Interestingly enough, it was the same cost as Jeremy and my tuition had been at Rhema Bible Training Center. This would cause my mind to go tilt. I would think, "She could be going to Bible School for the same cost as we're going to be paying for her to go to kindergarten!" Little did we know in a few short years we would be paying for three kids' tuition at that very school. And, something funny about that was that Olathe Christian School actually had a deal that if you pay for three kids' tuition your fourth one is free. Only we didn't have a fourth one to enroll! That can definitely be a hard blow for a bargain-hunter like me. It didn't bother Jeremy one bit, and he would laugh when I would say, "But, if we just had one more child enrolled there, they could go free!" Ha!
So, Diane's first year of school we decided that I would get a job at Walmart as a cashier to pay for her schooling. I worked 16 hours a week, and soon after starting they moved me over to the service desk. I really enjoyed working the service desk. And, I got wonderful opportunities to share about the Lord while I was working there. But, it was pretty hard for Jeremy and me to do in the beginning...
At the time we went to a church where most of the husbands worked and the wives stayed home with the kids. Have you ever noticed that different churches have different ideas about things? I don't mean that badly, I just mean that some churches may have a lot of stay-at-home moms, whereas at another church a lot of the moms have careers. We were at the stay-at-home mom church. And, to be quite honest, I kind of had the idea that it was best for the husband to work and the wife to stay home with the kids also. I wondered if this idea could really be from the Lord. Should I really get a job to pay for Diane to go to kindergarten?
Around this same time, I was reading the Bible, not really thinking about the whole work thing. And, praise the Lord, He spoke to my heart. He said, "Have you ever noticed that the Proverbs 31 woman worked outside of the home?" The Proverbs 31 woman. Aw, yes. That wonderful passage of scripture that Christian women read, sometimes with much trepidation, wondering how they could ever live up to this woman that the Bible calls "The Virtuous Woman."
I certainly had not noticed that, and I didn't even think it was true. "Could that possibly be true?" I questioned the Lord. He responded, "Look for yourself."
So, I flipped through my Bible to Proverbs 31 and began reading. I started in verse 10, where it begins talking about this Godly woman. And, sure enough, I got down to verse 16 and noticed that it said, "...out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard." At this point the Lord questioned me, saying, "Out of whose earnings?" And I responded, "Hers!" I was so amazed!
I continued reading and got down to verse 24 and saw that it said, "She makes linen garments and sells them..." Wow! She had her own clothing business! At this point, she became even more impressive to me than she already had been! She seemed to be able to do so much, and she was graced to do it all. And, I got such a peace in my heart. And, I knew if it was what God wanted me to do, God would grace me too! Yes, the Lord did want me to get a job to pay for Diane's kindergarten year.
Why did I share all this? I think it is because sometimes the Lord wants you to do something, and it might not really be the "popular" thing to do, even among your closest friends. I think that could be when it's hardest to do what He wants you to do, because you think that your closest friends would surely agree with you. But, it's always a good idea to follow Him, no matter what. Oh, He's so good and so wonderful, and you can never go wrong following His leading! Because, just like Jeremiah 29:11 was written to ME, it was also written to YOU! So, I worked at Walmart for almost exactly a year, and we used my earnings to pay for Diane's tuition.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Olathe Christian School
Diane was four when we moved to Olathe, KS that summer of 1999, and she started preschool that fall. Towards the end of preschool, we began thinking about her starting Kindergarten. There was an elementary school not far from our house, and we assumed that Diane would be going there to school. However, as it got closer to school starting, we began sensing that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to a private Christian school, not a public school. We kept thinking about it, so we decided to see if there were even any Christian schools in Olathe.
Meanwhile, the elementary school near our home had a Kindergarten Round-up. All the new kindergartners got to come to the school, meet different teachers and see one of the kindergarten classrooms. I decided I would take Diane since we weren't sure if she would be attending that school, or a Christian school. "It won't hurt to go look at the public school," I reasonably thought.
So, she and I went to the open house, and the school was beautiful. The classroom we got to see was perfect. It looked like it would be so much fun for five year olds! It even had a reading loft in the corner of the room. Of course, Diane was very excited seeing that classroom. And, all the kids got to plant seeds that afternoon, which was also lots of fun! Diane left that open house with a bag full of all kinds of goodies, and her newly planted seed that we were going to watch grow! She could hardly wait for school to start!
Well, I also had found a Christian school in the area, Olathe Christian School, and it wasn't too far from our house. So, we set up an appointment to go visit that school, and we went there soon after our visit to the open house at the public school. Jeremy, Diane and I met the director of the school, and he walked us around the building. The school was actually in a church, and the classrooms were small and not very exciting. But, he told us about the curriculum the school used, how the school had been founded, how they prayed before they ate lunch. It was very impressive from that standpoint, but not too impressive to look at. I could sense the love of God at that school though, which I really liked. As we were leaving, the director turned to Diane, almost as an afterthought, and told her they had just done a fund-raiser for the school selling sports bottles that said Olathe Christian School on them. They had some left, and he handed her one of them to keep. She politely said, "Thank you." As I was looking at that plastic bottle though, I was thinking about all the fun and exciting things the public school had given her, and how she probably really wasn't too excited about that cup.
I was feeling pretty convinced that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to Olathe Christian School, and I was really wishing that I hadn't even taken her to the public school's open house. It was just so nice and fun-looking at that school, and Olathe Christian School didn't even compare with it externally. I prayed that I hadn't made a mistake, and that the Lord would help Diane if we did decide to send her to Olathe Christian School. I was pretty sure that was the school she would be attending!
Now remember, Diane was only five years old. What five year old would choose a boring classroom over a fun and exciting one where she got to plant seeds? So, when she came into my room about a week later and told me that she knew what school God wanted her to go to, I was pretty skeptical about what she was going to say. I will never forget this moment. My adorable little five year old stood before me and said, "I've been talking to God about what school I'm supposed to go to, and He told me where He wants me to go."
"What did He say?" I asked.
"Do you know that story in the Bible about the lady that put a penny in the offering at her church?" Diane asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"Well," she said, in her cute, little five year old voice, "she put that penny in the offering and Jesus said that she gave more than anyone else even though it was only a penny. She gave all that she had."
"True," I responded.
"I think God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School. When we visited the other school, they gave me a lot of fun things, and I got to plant a seed. And, when we went to Olathe Christian School, they gave me that cup," she said, "But really, Olathe Christian School gave me more because I think the other school has a lot more than they do. Yeah, God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School."
Wow! If it wasn't settled in Jeremy and my hearts before that, it sure was then. So, we enrolled Diane at Olathe Christian School, and thus her school years began! And, we never regretted it one bit. Because although Olathe Christian School didn't have much from a financial standpoint, they had lots from a spiritual and educational standpoint. They didn't have top of the line computers, but they did have top of the line curriculum. They didn't have lots of nice, new toys for the kids to play with, but they did have teachers that loved and prayed for and with their students each and every day. And, that is what really matters, what is on the inside, not just what things look like on the outside.
Meanwhile, the elementary school near our home had a Kindergarten Round-up. All the new kindergartners got to come to the school, meet different teachers and see one of the kindergarten classrooms. I decided I would take Diane since we weren't sure if she would be attending that school, or a Christian school. "It won't hurt to go look at the public school," I reasonably thought.
So, she and I went to the open house, and the school was beautiful. The classroom we got to see was perfect. It looked like it would be so much fun for five year olds! It even had a reading loft in the corner of the room. Of course, Diane was very excited seeing that classroom. And, all the kids got to plant seeds that afternoon, which was also lots of fun! Diane left that open house with a bag full of all kinds of goodies, and her newly planted seed that we were going to watch grow! She could hardly wait for school to start!
Well, I also had found a Christian school in the area, Olathe Christian School, and it wasn't too far from our house. So, we set up an appointment to go visit that school, and we went there soon after our visit to the open house at the public school. Jeremy, Diane and I met the director of the school, and he walked us around the building. The school was actually in a church, and the classrooms were small and not very exciting. But, he told us about the curriculum the school used, how the school had been founded, how they prayed before they ate lunch. It was very impressive from that standpoint, but not too impressive to look at. I could sense the love of God at that school though, which I really liked. As we were leaving, the director turned to Diane, almost as an afterthought, and told her they had just done a fund-raiser for the school selling sports bottles that said Olathe Christian School on them. They had some left, and he handed her one of them to keep. She politely said, "Thank you." As I was looking at that plastic bottle though, I was thinking about all the fun and exciting things the public school had given her, and how she probably really wasn't too excited about that cup.
I was feeling pretty convinced that the Lord wanted us to send Diane to Olathe Christian School, and I was really wishing that I hadn't even taken her to the public school's open house. It was just so nice and fun-looking at that school, and Olathe Christian School didn't even compare with it externally. I prayed that I hadn't made a mistake, and that the Lord would help Diane if we did decide to send her to Olathe Christian School. I was pretty sure that was the school she would be attending!
Now remember, Diane was only five years old. What five year old would choose a boring classroom over a fun and exciting one where she got to plant seeds? So, when she came into my room about a week later and told me that she knew what school God wanted her to go to, I was pretty skeptical about what she was going to say. I will never forget this moment. My adorable little five year old stood before me and said, "I've been talking to God about what school I'm supposed to go to, and He told me where He wants me to go."
"What did He say?" I asked.
"Do you know that story in the Bible about the lady that put a penny in the offering at her church?" Diane asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"Well," she said, in her cute, little five year old voice, "she put that penny in the offering and Jesus said that she gave more than anyone else even though it was only a penny. She gave all that she had."
"True," I responded.
"I think God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School. When we visited the other school, they gave me a lot of fun things, and I got to plant a seed. And, when we went to Olathe Christian School, they gave me that cup," she said, "But really, Olathe Christian School gave me more because I think the other school has a lot more than they do. Yeah, God wants me to go to Olathe Christian School."
Wow! If it wasn't settled in Jeremy and my hearts before that, it sure was then. So, we enrolled Diane at Olathe Christian School, and thus her school years began! And, we never regretted it one bit. Because although Olathe Christian School didn't have much from a financial standpoint, they had lots from a spiritual and educational standpoint. They didn't have top of the line computers, but they did have top of the line curriculum. They didn't have lots of nice, new toys for the kids to play with, but they did have teachers that loved and prayed for and with their students each and every day. And, that is what really matters, what is on the inside, not just what things look like on the outside.
Monday, June 18, 2012
The Words of my Daddy
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" I don't know if you remember this little chant, but when I was growing up, kids used to say this to each other often. I remember saying it, and having it said to me. And, it was always in the midst of some fight or disagreement. Yes, in my childhood we said it a lot growing up, but is true?
As I think back, I see there were key moments in my life when people spoke things to me that changed me and changed my life. I imagine those people didn't even realize it at the time, but what they said impacted me so much that it changed the direction and course of my life forever. I am sure if you think back, you could say the same thing. Because yesterday was Father's Day, I was thinking about my dad. I am sure he doesn't even remember this, though maybe he does. And, I've never told him this, though I've shared it with numerous other people.
I was probably four years old, or maybe three, at the time. I don't remember much from when I was that age, but I do remember this. My daddy was tucking me into bed one night. Now, I always slept with a lot of stuffed animals. My daddy always teased me and said that he couldn't find me in the bed with all those stuffed animals. He'd give one of the animals a kiss, pretending that he thought it was me. He'd do that over and over again, and I would just laugh and laugh, because he couldn't find me anywhere in my little twin bed with all those animals.
Well, this night after going through that little routine, he said it was time to say my prayers. My prayers went something like, "God bless this person" and "God bless that person," which was also our routine. But, this night my dad told me something different. I think I said something about not knowing what to pray when I prayed to God, and he said, "Nikki, you can tell God anything you want. He loves it when you talk to Him about anything. You can just talk to Him just like you are talking to me, and tell Him just what you would tell me."
Now, that seems like a small thing, but actually it was huge. Everyone has a perception of God. Everyone has a way that they view Him, rather they are right about that or not. And, the way that you view God matters so much. Do you think He is a good and loving God who cares deeply and intimately about you, or do you think that He is a cold and hard God, who is ready to punish you if you make one wrong move? I think the first thing about the God I serve and love, and one really big reason was from my daddy telling me that when I was such a small little girl. You know, little girls believe everything their daddies tell them, and I was no exception to that rule.
It changed me. It changed how I interacted with God then and throughout my whole life, because all of sudden that night I had a view of God the Father. A Father who cared about every little detail of my life, and wanted me to share all my thoughts, hopes and dreams with Him. Abba Father (Daddy-God). The Bible calls Him that, but lots of people have never viewed God as a loving Daddy who wants them to run and sit on His lap and tell them about their day. But, from that moment on, that is exactly how I viewed God, as a Heavenly Father full of love, compassion and care for me.
I am so thankful that my dad spoke those words to me that night. From that point on, I talked to God just like I would talk to my best friend. I didn't really know Him, and I hadn't accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior (didn't even know that I could do that). I never heard Him speak back to me throughout my years growing up, but I would sense His presence. And, what I did know from what my daddy had told me was that God cared about me and wanted me to talk with Him.
Words. They matter. What you say to someone matters. What you say about yourself matters. There are numerous places in the Bible where it talks about the power that is in our words. Power in our words? What? In Proverbs it even says that the power of life and death is in the tongue, meaning in what we say. I think most people don't really think their words amount to much, that it really doesn't matter what they say or don't say. Yet, according to the Bible, the opposite is true. What you say matters so much that it affects life and death. That's pretty amazing!
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! There is no other dad I would rather have than you! I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your daughter, and I'm so thankful you spoke those words into my life so many years ago (Hmmm, what would it be? Thirty-six or 37 years ago now, and yet I still remember that moment and those words.). You set a correct view of God for me that night (and I have shared that story numerous times when sharing about the love of God to other people), and for that I am forever grateful! Love you bunches!
As I think back, I see there were key moments in my life when people spoke things to me that changed me and changed my life. I imagine those people didn't even realize it at the time, but what they said impacted me so much that it changed the direction and course of my life forever. I am sure if you think back, you could say the same thing. Because yesterday was Father's Day, I was thinking about my dad. I am sure he doesn't even remember this, though maybe he does. And, I've never told him this, though I've shared it with numerous other people.
I was probably four years old, or maybe three, at the time. I don't remember much from when I was that age, but I do remember this. My daddy was tucking me into bed one night. Now, I always slept with a lot of stuffed animals. My daddy always teased me and said that he couldn't find me in the bed with all those stuffed animals. He'd give one of the animals a kiss, pretending that he thought it was me. He'd do that over and over again, and I would just laugh and laugh, because he couldn't find me anywhere in my little twin bed with all those animals.
Well, this night after going through that little routine, he said it was time to say my prayers. My prayers went something like, "God bless this person" and "God bless that person," which was also our routine. But, this night my dad told me something different. I think I said something about not knowing what to pray when I prayed to God, and he said, "Nikki, you can tell God anything you want. He loves it when you talk to Him about anything. You can just talk to Him just like you are talking to me, and tell Him just what you would tell me."
Now, that seems like a small thing, but actually it was huge. Everyone has a perception of God. Everyone has a way that they view Him, rather they are right about that or not. And, the way that you view God matters so much. Do you think He is a good and loving God who cares deeply and intimately about you, or do you think that He is a cold and hard God, who is ready to punish you if you make one wrong move? I think the first thing about the God I serve and love, and one really big reason was from my daddy telling me that when I was such a small little girl. You know, little girls believe everything their daddies tell them, and I was no exception to that rule.
It changed me. It changed how I interacted with God then and throughout my whole life, because all of sudden that night I had a view of God the Father. A Father who cared about every little detail of my life, and wanted me to share all my thoughts, hopes and dreams with Him. Abba Father (Daddy-God). The Bible calls Him that, but lots of people have never viewed God as a loving Daddy who wants them to run and sit on His lap and tell them about their day. But, from that moment on, that is exactly how I viewed God, as a Heavenly Father full of love, compassion and care for me.
I am so thankful that my dad spoke those words to me that night. From that point on, I talked to God just like I would talk to my best friend. I didn't really know Him, and I hadn't accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior (didn't even know that I could do that). I never heard Him speak back to me throughout my years growing up, but I would sense His presence. And, what I did know from what my daddy had told me was that God cared about me and wanted me to talk with Him.
Words. They matter. What you say to someone matters. What you say about yourself matters. There are numerous places in the Bible where it talks about the power that is in our words. Power in our words? What? In Proverbs it even says that the power of life and death is in the tongue, meaning in what we say. I think most people don't really think their words amount to much, that it really doesn't matter what they say or don't say. Yet, according to the Bible, the opposite is true. What you say matters so much that it affects life and death. That's pretty amazing!
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! There is no other dad I would rather have than you! I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your daughter, and I'm so thankful you spoke those words into my life so many years ago (Hmmm, what would it be? Thirty-six or 37 years ago now, and yet I still remember that moment and those words.). You set a correct view of God for me that night (and I have shared that story numerous times when sharing about the love of God to other people), and for that I am forever grateful! Love you bunches!
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