Jeremy and I got married July 31, 1993 and exactly ten months later, on May 31, 1994, I found out I was expecting our first baby! We were not really planning to have a baby so quickly after getting married. We had gone to our hometown the weekend before May 31st for my best friend's wedding, which was just beautiful, by the way! I was the Matron-of-Honor and I woke up that Saturday morning feeling like I was going to be sick. Jeremy and I were staying with my mom and step-dad, Bill, and that morning when my mom asked me if I wanted any breakfast before leaving to get ready for the wedding, I declined her offer because I felt so sick to my stomach. She insisted, as moms do, that I eat at least one piece of toast, so I hesitantly did, really just to make her happy. Jeremy and I got in the car to leave right after I ate the toast, and I remember telling him, "That's odd. I feel better now that I ate that toast. Usually when your stomach is upset you feel worse when you eat. I guess my mom was right. I just needed some food on my stomach."
The rest of the day was a whirlwind of wedding festivities and fun. We drove the 2 1/2 hours home late that Saturday night, and we were up early the next morning to take the newlyweds to the airport to leave for their honeymoon. Yep, they scheduled their honeymoon early the morning after their wedding the same way we did. I remember getting up that morning and feeling so exhausted. I mean, I was tired! Since being an adult, I have never really been able to sleep in the car much, but as we were driving home from taking them to the Tulsa airport, I laid my head back, closed my eyes and almost fell asleep. I was that tired. And, Jeremy and I did think it was strange, but not really knowing the tell-tell signs of pregnancy like I do now, I didn't think that much about it!
So, on Monday I was pretty tired and I didn't have to work, so I just rested. I was thinking maybe I should get a pregnancy test done, but we didn't have a doctor yet in Broken Arrow, and I was convinced that an over-the-counter pregnancy test would not be in the least bit accurate, so I wanted to get tested by a doctor.
There was a Planned Parenthood really close to our house. Now, don't be angry at me about the Planned Parenthood thing. I am totally pro-life, but I was very young and I really didn't know much about Planned Parenthood and their organization at this time. All I knew was that I wanted to get a pregnancy test, and I thought maybe they could help me with that, since I didn't have a doctor of my own. So, I just rested on Monday, but Tuesday morning I woke up and decided I needed to get that pregnancy test. I didn't want to wait any longer.
So, I called the Planned Parenthood in Broken Arrow, OK and asked if they did pregnancy tests. They said they did free pregnancy tests on Monday! What?!? It was Tuesday, and I was going to have to wait a whole six more days to find out if I was pregnant! The lady I talked to mentioned that the Planned Parenthood in Tulsa did pregnancy tests for free on Tuesdays, if I wanted to drive all the way over there. Well, Jeremy had to work that day, but I decided I would drive over there and get that test done.
I did, and I walked into the Planned Parenthood in Tulsa, and it didn't seem to be in that great of a neighborhood. I still remember it so clearly. I walked in, filled out the paperwork and nervously sat down next to this very skinny black girl, who looked younger than me, and had 2 or 3 young kids with her. She looked at me when I sat down and said, "How late are ya?"
I was so surprised by her question, no "hello" or anything, but being caught off guard, I simply responded, "Two weeks."
She shook her head, and said, "Girl, you pregnant!"
By this point, I really just wanted to dart out of there, but I just sat quietly until they called my name, did my test, and informed me that I was indeed pregnant. I didn't see that girl again, but I remember thinking, "Well, she was right. I am pregnant!"
We didn't have cell phones back then, and Jeremy was at work until 10:00 that night, and it was late afternoon at this point. I was so stunned about the news. I felt so young to be a mommy, even though I was 22. I wasn't sure what to do until Jeremy got home, so I went to the store and bought some baby wet wipes and a bar of Ivory soap, because what else are you going to do when you find out you're pregnant? I debated about buying some diapers, but when I saw how much they cost, I decided on the baby wipes instead.
Then, I drove to Name Brand Clothing where Jeremy worked and found his vehicle in the parking lot. I opened the bar of soap and wrote all over his car windows things like, "You're going to be a daddy!" and then I stuck the wet wipes in the front seat of his car for him to find after work. I thought this would be a fun way to tell him we were going to have a baby.
However, soon after I got back to our little one bedroom apartment, the phone rang. We didn't have Caller ID, I don't even think there was Caller ID in 1994, and so I answered the phone. It was Jeremy! I was so frustrated that he had called and ruined my surprise. Of course, he was calling to see what the test had said. It completely makes sense that he would call, because of course he would want to know. But, I didn't think it seemed very exciting to tell him the news over the phone, so I wasn't very happy with him for calling! Poor Jeremy! I wanted him to find the decorated car after work with the wet wipes in it, but too late. Here we were on the phone, so I told him the news over the phone, and I think I told him about the decorated car, too!
So, Diane was a bit of a surprise for us at the time, but I am SO thankful we had her when we did! She has been such a joy and blessing in our life, and God knew we needed her then, not later! His timing was perfect! It just took us a little time to get used to the idea! And, I remember we looked up the following scripture in Psalm and meditated on that a lot in the days that followed! I'm so thankful to God that He gave us Diane!
"Children are a heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127: 3-5
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Applying
So, Jeremy and I have been watching God faithfully meet our needs financially for about the last 19 years. So, isn't it interesting that I really didn't want to apply for school at Missouri State University until I knew exactly how I was going to pay for school? As January 2012 rolled around, I began sensing it was time to apply for school for the Fall 2012 school year. I had gone to MSU's website, and learned that the tuition is $6,793.00 per year at MSU, not including books. And, of course, the cost of driving back and forth to Springfield every day to attend classes. And, of course, not working during those hours.
So, I really wanted to SEE how we were going to pay for all of that BEFORE I applied. That is always a lot more comfortable, and yet, that is rarely the way I have seen God move in these last twenty years that I have been living for Him. He likes for you to step out in faith knowing and trusting that He will take care of you, and you know what? He ALWAYS does! I love Him so much!
So, one morning towards the middle of this last January, I woke up and just knew that I was going to have to apply for school and then watch God pay for it! I was pretty intimidated with just the thought of applying for school, really. I mean, the last time I had applied for college was in 1990, and the application process back then was completely different than the application process is now. What we did way back then was call and/or visit the school and get information about the school, ask them to mail us an application, fill out the application by manually inserting the application into a typewriter and row-by-row typing it. Is this familiar to anyone that is reading this? If it is, then you are probably close my age or older. Then, when you were satisfied with how the application looked, you mailed it in to the school. This was the application process with which I was familiar.
So, I went to MSU's website to find their phone number. I, in my 1990 mentality, was going to call the school and ask them to send me an application. I was getting ready to do this. I actually dialed MSU's number and hung up because a thought hit me that I might be able to just download the application on the computer and print it off from home, and then send it in to the school. So, I searched around on the website, and sure enough, there was an application that I could download and print. However, as I was looking into that option, I saw another link where I could just fill out the application online and submit it right from my home computer, no mailing needed at all. I clicked on that link, filled out the application in less than fifteen minutes, and submitted it by the click of the mouse. I even paid the $35 application fee by entering my debit number into their system, no check writing needed either. My, my, my...things are a lot different than they were in 1990!
I almost felt like I hadn't really applied. It seriously took less than fifteen minutes. "Well, it certainly is a lot easier to apply for college these days than it used to be, " I thought. After I submitted the application, it even informed me that they would be emailing me when my application was approved. I wouldn't even be receiving that by mail. Why do I share this story? I guess because it shows the humor in going back to school at the age of forty, even though, of course, age is irrelevant.
Provision, you ask? Because yes, that is how I started this whole story. Once I had applied and was accepted, we were able to fill out the government FAFSA form, which Jeremy helped me greatly with (OK, He did it and I watched!), because I was also very intimidated by that online form as well. Thank you, God, for my wonderful husband! Anyway, it turns out that the fact that we have five children who are all our dependents helps me greatly with the American government when it comes to going back to school at the age of forty to get a Bachelor's Degree. We qualify for $5550 for this school year (Yes, $5550!), so I was very thankful to God when I saw that! Soon after that, I learned from surfing around on my MSU link (Yes, my MSU link! You also get your own "My MSU" link when you go to school these days!) that I somehow got a $1000 Missouri Access Grant for this school year. So, my tuition for the whole school year is already almost paid, and I still haven't heard back from the scholarships that I have applied for, and I have a feeling that I'll get at least one of those, but we'll see.
Yes, the whole story is not there yet, because of course, I haven't even started school yet. But, there is one thing I am certain, God will make a way. He always does. I've seen Him do it time and time again, and I know this time will be no different. I'll keep you "posted." Ha! Ha! Did you notice my little play on words there? "Posted." Yeah, pretty funny, right?
Love to you all, and thanks for reading my blog! Just know, whatever is going on in your life, God is right there, wanting to help you, lead you, guide you, speak to you, love on you. "But," you might be thinking, "I don't know if God really wants to help me. And, even if He did, how would He do it?" Let me tell you, He does want to help you, probably even more than you want help. And, I don't know how He'll do it, but I do know that when you go before Him with a sincere heart and ask Him to help you, He will. He truly will. And, then the next thing you know, you'll be writing a blog about it to tell others what great things God has done for YOU!!!
So, I really wanted to SEE how we were going to pay for all of that BEFORE I applied. That is always a lot more comfortable, and yet, that is rarely the way I have seen God move in these last twenty years that I have been living for Him. He likes for you to step out in faith knowing and trusting that He will take care of you, and you know what? He ALWAYS does! I love Him so much!
So, one morning towards the middle of this last January, I woke up and just knew that I was going to have to apply for school and then watch God pay for it! I was pretty intimidated with just the thought of applying for school, really. I mean, the last time I had applied for college was in 1990, and the application process back then was completely different than the application process is now. What we did way back then was call and/or visit the school and get information about the school, ask them to mail us an application, fill out the application by manually inserting the application into a typewriter and row-by-row typing it. Is this familiar to anyone that is reading this? If it is, then you are probably close my age or older. Then, when you were satisfied with how the application looked, you mailed it in to the school. This was the application process with which I was familiar.
So, I went to MSU's website to find their phone number. I, in my 1990 mentality, was going to call the school and ask them to send me an application. I was getting ready to do this. I actually dialed MSU's number and hung up because a thought hit me that I might be able to just download the application on the computer and print it off from home, and then send it in to the school. So, I searched around on the website, and sure enough, there was an application that I could download and print. However, as I was looking into that option, I saw another link where I could just fill out the application online and submit it right from my home computer, no mailing needed at all. I clicked on that link, filled out the application in less than fifteen minutes, and submitted it by the click of the mouse. I even paid the $35 application fee by entering my debit number into their system, no check writing needed either. My, my, my...things are a lot different than they were in 1990!
I almost felt like I hadn't really applied. It seriously took less than fifteen minutes. "Well, it certainly is a lot easier to apply for college these days than it used to be, " I thought. After I submitted the application, it even informed me that they would be emailing me when my application was approved. I wouldn't even be receiving that by mail. Why do I share this story? I guess because it shows the humor in going back to school at the age of forty, even though, of course, age is irrelevant.
Provision, you ask? Because yes, that is how I started this whole story. Once I had applied and was accepted, we were able to fill out the government FAFSA form, which Jeremy helped me greatly with (OK, He did it and I watched!), because I was also very intimidated by that online form as well. Thank you, God, for my wonderful husband! Anyway, it turns out that the fact that we have five children who are all our dependents helps me greatly with the American government when it comes to going back to school at the age of forty to get a Bachelor's Degree. We qualify for $5550 for this school year (Yes, $5550!), so I was very thankful to God when I saw that! Soon after that, I learned from surfing around on my MSU link (Yes, my MSU link! You also get your own "My MSU" link when you go to school these days!) that I somehow got a $1000 Missouri Access Grant for this school year. So, my tuition for the whole school year is already almost paid, and I still haven't heard back from the scholarships that I have applied for, and I have a feeling that I'll get at least one of those, but we'll see.
Yes, the whole story is not there yet, because of course, I haven't even started school yet. But, there is one thing I am certain, God will make a way. He always does. I've seen Him do it time and time again, and I know this time will be no different. I'll keep you "posted." Ha! Ha! Did you notice my little play on words there? "Posted." Yeah, pretty funny, right?
Love to you all, and thanks for reading my blog! Just know, whatever is going on in your life, God is right there, wanting to help you, lead you, guide you, speak to you, love on you. "But," you might be thinking, "I don't know if God really wants to help me. And, even if He did, how would He do it?" Let me tell you, He does want to help you, probably even more than you want help. And, I don't know how He'll do it, but I do know that when you go before Him with a sincere heart and ask Him to help you, He will. He truly will. And, then the next thing you know, you'll be writing a blog about it to tell others what great things God has done for YOU!!!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Our First Rent Payment
Jeremy and I got married on July 31, 1993, and we headed straight to Broken Arrow, OK after our wedding to spend our first night in our one bedroom apartment that we had there, waiting for us. We had stayed with my dad and step-mom the week before and gotten it all ready. We were so excited about beginning our life together! Our plane left for our Tennessee honeymoon the next morning at 8:00 AM. I wouldn't really recommend doing that...getting married, driving two hours to your new apartment, and booking a flight for 8:00 AM the next morning! We were so tired, to say the least, but happy! I should see if I can find the picture of us that we took when we left the wedding and post it on here. You can see the excitement in my eyes, definitely!
Jeremy had been saving as much money as possible for our honeymoon, and we had a pretty good chunk of money to spend while we were in Gatlinburg, TN. We stayed for a week, and just enjoyed ourselves. Jeremy and I were, of course, off work that week, and I had taken off the week before the wedding to get things ready for the wedding, the move, the honeymoon...that sort of thing. When we got home from the honeymoon, Jeremy started working at the Walmart there in Broken Arrow.
About one week after we got home, I had a big realization. I'm usually pretty good with planning and budgeting, but I saw something we had missed. Our rent payment was coming due, and Jeremy was only going to have one paycheck before that happened. And unfortunately, his paycheck wasn't going to be enough to pay our rent, not to mention the fact that we were going to need to buy some groceries as well. I hadn't found a job yet, though I had been looking. So, this realization was not good, to say the least. How were we going to pay our rent?
Now, we hadn't gotten paid since being married, so this was going to be our first paycheck as a married couple. I had tithed on my own before we got married, meaning that I gave the first 10% of my income to the church that I attended in Parsons, KS. But, this was going to be our first time getting paid since we got married. And, the thoughts began swirling in my head, "You can't pay tithe with that paycheck Jeremy is going to get. You aren't even going to be able to pay your rent, let alone buy groceries. There's no way that you can pay tithe."
Thank God that even though I didn't know very much about battling these kinds of thoughts at the time, He helped me and graced me to do the right thing. I fought those thoughts with the Word of God. I remember it so clearly. I was driving in my little blue Chevy Spectrum home from Walmart, and those negative thoughts just kept playing over and over again in my mind. No one was in the car, but I spoke out loud anyway, and boldly said, "No, we will be a tithing couple! We will always give the first 10% of any money that comes into us to the Lord. That is what we will do! And, God will take care of all our needs, because that's what it says He'll do in His Word! It says that My God WILL supply all of our needs, and He will! (That, by the way, is a scripture from the book of Philippians.) He told us to get married and move to Broken Arrow to go to Bible School, and He will supply all our needs and take care of us, even though we made a mistake and didn't hold back enough money from our honeymoon for our rent. We are tithers, and we always will be!"
And, that settled it for me! Anytime the thought would come over the next few days that we weren't going to have enough to pay our rent, I would say, "My God WILL supply all of our needs!" And, that was that. I didn't realize it at the time, but what I was doing really was the perfect thing, battling thoughts with the Word of God. He is so faithful to help us even when we don't know what we're doing! :) And, as a side note (because of course I must have at least one side note), this is such a good reason to read the Bible and find out what it says for yourself! The Bible will help you. It's not some dusty, old book that doesn't mean anything. No, the Words in there are alive, and if you believe them, act on them and speak them, they will change your life and your circumstances!
So, Friday came and Jeremy got his paycheck. I was at home at our apartment and he called me. "Nikki, you're not going to believe what happened with my paycheck."
"What?" I replied.
"Well," he said, "It has my regular pay, and then it has a line that says Extra Pay for $140. When I first saw it, I thought, 'Glory to God!" but then I knew it wasn't right, so I went to my supervisor and told her there was a mistake on my check. She looked at it and said I must have had some vacation pay on there, but there is a spot for vacation pay, and it isn't on that line, which I mentioned. And, then she said I must have won the safety award and that is what the extra $140 is. So, I asked her how much the safety award usually is and she said $50, so I told her that really doesn't make sense that it would be the safety award. She said not to worry about it. Just keep the pay, and we'll figure out what it is later."
Well, we never did find out why Jeremy's paycheck had Extra Pay on it for $140, but with that and his regular pay, we paid our tithe, our rent, and had more than enough to go buy a whole bunch of groceries! We were shouting praises to God all the way to the grocery store, and thanking God for taking good care of us, just like He said in the Bible that He would. And, that was our first experience of watching God supernaturally meet our needs, and we've had so many more in the last 19 years that I could never even remember them all, let alone write them down. God's Word is true, and He will never let you down when you put your trust in Him!
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
Jeremy had been saving as much money as possible for our honeymoon, and we had a pretty good chunk of money to spend while we were in Gatlinburg, TN. We stayed for a week, and just enjoyed ourselves. Jeremy and I were, of course, off work that week, and I had taken off the week before the wedding to get things ready for the wedding, the move, the honeymoon...that sort of thing. When we got home from the honeymoon, Jeremy started working at the Walmart there in Broken Arrow.
About one week after we got home, I had a big realization. I'm usually pretty good with planning and budgeting, but I saw something we had missed. Our rent payment was coming due, and Jeremy was only going to have one paycheck before that happened. And unfortunately, his paycheck wasn't going to be enough to pay our rent, not to mention the fact that we were going to need to buy some groceries as well. I hadn't found a job yet, though I had been looking. So, this realization was not good, to say the least. How were we going to pay our rent?
Now, we hadn't gotten paid since being married, so this was going to be our first paycheck as a married couple. I had tithed on my own before we got married, meaning that I gave the first 10% of my income to the church that I attended in Parsons, KS. But, this was going to be our first time getting paid since we got married. And, the thoughts began swirling in my head, "You can't pay tithe with that paycheck Jeremy is going to get. You aren't even going to be able to pay your rent, let alone buy groceries. There's no way that you can pay tithe."
Thank God that even though I didn't know very much about battling these kinds of thoughts at the time, He helped me and graced me to do the right thing. I fought those thoughts with the Word of God. I remember it so clearly. I was driving in my little blue Chevy Spectrum home from Walmart, and those negative thoughts just kept playing over and over again in my mind. No one was in the car, but I spoke out loud anyway, and boldly said, "No, we will be a tithing couple! We will always give the first 10% of any money that comes into us to the Lord. That is what we will do! And, God will take care of all our needs, because that's what it says He'll do in His Word! It says that My God WILL supply all of our needs, and He will! (That, by the way, is a scripture from the book of Philippians.) He told us to get married and move to Broken Arrow to go to Bible School, and He will supply all our needs and take care of us, even though we made a mistake and didn't hold back enough money from our honeymoon for our rent. We are tithers, and we always will be!"
And, that settled it for me! Anytime the thought would come over the next few days that we weren't going to have enough to pay our rent, I would say, "My God WILL supply all of our needs!" And, that was that. I didn't realize it at the time, but what I was doing really was the perfect thing, battling thoughts with the Word of God. He is so faithful to help us even when we don't know what we're doing! :) And, as a side note (because of course I must have at least one side note), this is such a good reason to read the Bible and find out what it says for yourself! The Bible will help you. It's not some dusty, old book that doesn't mean anything. No, the Words in there are alive, and if you believe them, act on them and speak them, they will change your life and your circumstances!
So, Friday came and Jeremy got his paycheck. I was at home at our apartment and he called me. "Nikki, you're not going to believe what happened with my paycheck."
"What?" I replied.
"Well," he said, "It has my regular pay, and then it has a line that says Extra Pay for $140. When I first saw it, I thought, 'Glory to God!" but then I knew it wasn't right, so I went to my supervisor and told her there was a mistake on my check. She looked at it and said I must have had some vacation pay on there, but there is a spot for vacation pay, and it isn't on that line, which I mentioned. And, then she said I must have won the safety award and that is what the extra $140 is. So, I asked her how much the safety award usually is and she said $50, so I told her that really doesn't make sense that it would be the safety award. She said not to worry about it. Just keep the pay, and we'll figure out what it is later."
Well, we never did find out why Jeremy's paycheck had Extra Pay on it for $140, but with that and his regular pay, we paid our tithe, our rent, and had more than enough to go buy a whole bunch of groceries! We were shouting praises to God all the way to the grocery store, and thanking God for taking good care of us, just like He said in the Bible that He would. And, that was our first experience of watching God supernaturally meet our needs, and we've had so many more in the last 19 years that I could never even remember them all, let alone write them down. God's Word is true, and He will never let you down when you put your trust in Him!
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Not Spectacular, but God Nonetheless!
Yes, the way the Lord told us to go to Rhema Bible Training Center was spectacular to Jeremy and me, to say the least. If we ever started to have any doubts along the way getting there, or if we started to get discouraged at all, we would look back and remember how the Lord told us both He wanted us to go to Rhema, on the same day, when we were in two separate places. It truly was spectacular.
I heard someone say, and it possibly could have been my pastor, Rev. Keith Moore, or maybe is was Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin, or maybe it was someone else. Someone reading this will probably know, but I am not for sure. But, I heard someone say "Sometimes you miss the supernatural because you're so busy looking for the spectacular." I think that is so true. You see, the way the Lord told us to go to Rhema was spectacular. It was amazing! It was perfect for that situation. But, if you've read my other posts, then you can probably see that the way the Lord told me about going back to school was very different, much more gradual, something He showed me over time. So, why would it be any different for Jeremy in this situation? No, He showed Jeremy the exact same way He showed me, gradually.
Jeremy is a Godly man! I'm so thankful for him. And, in his (and my, for a long time) perfect World, I don't work. He works, and I am the homemaker. Of course, I was working at this time (the home daycare and Bath & Body Works), but I knew in Jeremy's mind my working was just a temporary thing. Isn't it wonderful to have a husband like that, who wants to take care of his family and have his wife at home taking care of everything there? He is such a hard worker, and I know he'd do just about anything he could to take care of our family. I say "just about" because I know he wouldn't do anything wrong to take care of us.
So, I wasn't quite sure what he would think about me going back to school to become a teacher. And, when I mentioned it to him the first time, his reaction really wasn't that positive. And, I could understand just where he was coming from, because if you remember, twenty years ago I left school at the Lord's leading, and we assumed the Lord didn't want me to become a teacher at all. In actuality, He didn't want me to become a teacher then, but we didn't know that. He had other things for me to do first: get married, have five beautiful children, attend a life-changing Bible School...just a few things like that! And, oh, they've all been glorious things that I wouldn't trade for anything!
So, I mentioned it to Jeremy. Jeremy wasn't too keen on the idea, and we just left it at that. For about a month, I didn't mention it to him again. Then every so often after that I would talk about maybe going back to school here and there. I'd just share a few things about what I was thinking or what the Lord had spoken to me throughout the last few months. I didn't pour everything the Lord had spoken to me out all at once, because I knew it would be, well, just too much. I never pressured him about it, and I certainly didn't try to manipulate him. People can try to manipulate other people...you know what I mean? "Well, God told me to do this and I'm going to do it no matter what!" That's not love. That's not God. God isn't like that! And, I figured, "If this is something God wants me to do, He'll let my husband know about it. And, if it's not something God wants me to do, then I don't want to do it anyway." Besides that, it's not like I was going to be starting school tomorrow. It was still over a year and a half before Derek started Kindergarten. We had some time!
Isn't God good? I mean, He gives you time to get used to things! Sometimes He tells you things, and you do it right then, that very second. But, I've noticed as I've grown with Him, He tells me things more in advance, and then I just have to wait until the right time to do it. I personally like having a little time, so I can get prepared physically and mentally for what I'm going to be doing (Ummm, like homework! Trust me when I say, that is not something I ever thought I'd be doing again!). So, in this situation with me going back to school, God has definitely given Jeremy and me both some time to adjust to the idea.
So, what happened, you wonder. Really, nothing that big and exciting. Just over time, I guess Jeremy began to think it was from the Lord too. There was never any big moment when he came to me and said, "Nikki, I do think this is what the Lord wants us to do." Guess if we want his side of the story, he'll have to write his own post, huh? But, I did ask him if I could share this. He sent me the sweetest email not even a month ago, and this is what it said:
To my Nikki~
I heard someone say, and it possibly could have been my pastor, Rev. Keith Moore, or maybe is was Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin, or maybe it was someone else. Someone reading this will probably know, but I am not for sure. But, I heard someone say "Sometimes you miss the supernatural because you're so busy looking for the spectacular." I think that is so true. You see, the way the Lord told us to go to Rhema was spectacular. It was amazing! It was perfect for that situation. But, if you've read my other posts, then you can probably see that the way the Lord told me about going back to school was very different, much more gradual, something He showed me over time. So, why would it be any different for Jeremy in this situation? No, He showed Jeremy the exact same way He showed me, gradually.
Jeremy is a Godly man! I'm so thankful for him. And, in his (and my, for a long time) perfect World, I don't work. He works, and I am the homemaker. Of course, I was working at this time (the home daycare and Bath & Body Works), but I knew in Jeremy's mind my working was just a temporary thing. Isn't it wonderful to have a husband like that, who wants to take care of his family and have his wife at home taking care of everything there? He is such a hard worker, and I know he'd do just about anything he could to take care of our family. I say "just about" because I know he wouldn't do anything wrong to take care of us.
So, I wasn't quite sure what he would think about me going back to school to become a teacher. And, when I mentioned it to him the first time, his reaction really wasn't that positive. And, I could understand just where he was coming from, because if you remember, twenty years ago I left school at the Lord's leading, and we assumed the Lord didn't want me to become a teacher at all. In actuality, He didn't want me to become a teacher then, but we didn't know that. He had other things for me to do first: get married, have five beautiful children, attend a life-changing Bible School...just a few things like that! And, oh, they've all been glorious things that I wouldn't trade for anything!
So, I mentioned it to Jeremy. Jeremy wasn't too keen on the idea, and we just left it at that. For about a month, I didn't mention it to him again. Then every so often after that I would talk about maybe going back to school here and there. I'd just share a few things about what I was thinking or what the Lord had spoken to me throughout the last few months. I didn't pour everything the Lord had spoken to me out all at once, because I knew it would be, well, just too much. I never pressured him about it, and I certainly didn't try to manipulate him. People can try to manipulate other people...you know what I mean? "Well, God told me to do this and I'm going to do it no matter what!" That's not love. That's not God. God isn't like that! And, I figured, "If this is something God wants me to do, He'll let my husband know about it. And, if it's not something God wants me to do, then I don't want to do it anyway." Besides that, it's not like I was going to be starting school tomorrow. It was still over a year and a half before Derek started Kindergarten. We had some time!
Isn't God good? I mean, He gives you time to get used to things! Sometimes He tells you things, and you do it right then, that very second. But, I've noticed as I've grown with Him, He tells me things more in advance, and then I just have to wait until the right time to do it. I personally like having a little time, so I can get prepared physically and mentally for what I'm going to be doing (Ummm, like homework! Trust me when I say, that is not something I ever thought I'd be doing again!). So, in this situation with me going back to school, God has definitely given Jeremy and me both some time to adjust to the idea.
So, what happened, you wonder. Really, nothing that big and exciting. Just over time, I guess Jeremy began to think it was from the Lord too. There was never any big moment when he came to me and said, "Nikki, I do think this is what the Lord wants us to do." Guess if we want his side of the story, he'll have to write his own post, huh? But, I did ask him if I could share this. He sent me the sweetest email not even a month ago, and this is what it said:
To my Nikki~
One thing that makes me fall in love with you over and
over is that you are taking on the task of going back to school to become a
teacher! I am very proud of you for doing all the work and jumping in
like you are. I know you will finish and be an amazing teacher! I
am behind you 100%! Your capturing of your future....I Love that about
YOU!
Jeremy
That's all it said, and it brought tears to my eyes when I read it. Yep, he's a keeper! My favorite part was when he said he was behind me 100%! That was truly music to my ears, because I didn't want to do something that he didn't support. I'm a very blessed woman, and I pray that I will never take all that the Lord has given me for granted either.
So, this isn't a spectacular story, but it is supernatural, nonetheless. And, I agree with whoever it is that said that quote, "Sometimes you miss the supernatural because you're so busy looking for the spectacular." God is doing a lot more at this very moment in your and my life than we even realize!!! He's helping you and me more than we even know. Sometimes at the end of the day, I'll just say that to the Lord, "Thank you for helping me today, even when I didn't even know you were!" Yes, the spectacular stories are grand, and you really can't miss seeing God in those. But, most of day-to-day living with God is more subtle, and following Him is more of a peace or a knowing inside than anything else. Don't you think?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Bible School
There have been many times in Jeremy and my life when the Lord has told us exactly the same thing, separately, and when we come together and begin talking about it we find out that the Lord spoke the same thing to both of us! What a confirmation when that happens! For example, when we were seeking the Lord, separately, before we were even married, about what Bible School He wanted us to attend after we were married (We already knew that was the plan. We just weren't sure where.), the Lord told us both on the very same day. Jeremy worked the evening shift at Walmart, and the Lord had told him that morning while he was praying. I worked the morning shift at a daycare, and the Lord had told me that evening while I was praying. Wow! We hadn't talked all day. Yes, this was way back in the Dark Ages. There were no cell phones and definitely no texting. You just had to wait to talk to people until you saw them, or until they were home where they could be reached by phone. I was so excited for Jeremy to get off work so I could tell him what the Lord had told me!
He showed up at my apartment that night after work, and I excitedly said, "Guess what? The Lord told me where He wants us to go to Bible School!" I was so full of anticipation to tell him my news, I told him the second I opened the door to the apartment! He was still standing outside the doorway when I said that!
And, much to my surprise, Jeremy said, "The Lord told me where He wants us to go to Bible School today, too!"
We just stood there looking at each other, and I remember thinking, "I hope it's the same place." Ha! Ha! God does have a great sense of humor, that's for sure!
And, glory to God, I'm thankful to say it was! He told us both that He wanted us to go to Rhema Bible Training Center in Broken Arrow, OK. Now, you may think that of course that would happen because we had already been thinking about going to Rhema, but that was not the case. As a matter of fact, I did not even know where Rhema Bible Training Center was in Broken Arrow, even though my dad, step-mom, step-brother and half-sister had all lived in Broken Arrow for years. When I saw the Rhema campus for the first time, I couldn't believe it! I had always thought Rhema was a children's hospital, for some reason. Maybe because they decorate so pretty at Christmas. I don't know, but that's what I had always thought.
And, I had never even heard of Rev Kenneth E Hagin, the founder of Rhema. I didn't know a thing about him, and I wouldn't have recognized him if I was sitting right next to him on an airplane. I didn't know his testimony, his story, nothing. So, unlike a lot of people that attend Rhema Bible Training Center, when we got there, we knew absolutely nothing, well, pretty much about anything. But, we did KNOW that we were supposed to go to school there. We were 100% sure of that, and that was all we needed!
When I look back over that time in our lives, it is so precious to me! Jeremy and I were just spiritual little babies when we went there, and we grew up together at Rhema. How could I not cherish such a special time in our lives? We learned so much spiritually, and we also learned a lot naturally, too. We were pretty young when we got married. I was 21, and Jeremy was almost 21. Yes, I am about eight months older than Jeremy, and trust me when I say, he never lets me forget it either! I am so thankful the Lord let us grow up together like that. So, very, very thankful!
Yes, it is wonderful when things like that happen! I've also learned since then that sometimes when things like that happen, it can also mean that it's going to be a challenging road ahead. And, going to Rhema was pretty challenging in a lot of ways, but that's OK. It was worth it, more than worth it, and still to this day words can not express how thankful I am for the years we had there.
Rhema actually means an "utterance" or "thing said" in Greek. I heard it said many times while attending school and church there that Rhema means God's Word for you today. That's what you always need to know, what God is speaking to you today, what He has for you to do today, what will help you today. It's great to think about what you did yesterday, or what you will do in the future, but the only thing you can actually do, you have to do today. And, while at Rhema we definitely learned to hear God's voice more clearly, and know Him more intimately. Life changing. That's exactly what it was. Life changing.
Well, I thought this blog was going to be about me telling Jeremy my idea about going back to college, but I guess it's not. This story is much more interesting anyway! :) God always knows the perfect word for today, and I guess this one was it, not the other. So, be blessed my friends, and know that God is leading you today, too! And, maybe I'll share the other one another time...probably next time. Love you all!
He showed up at my apartment that night after work, and I excitedly said, "Guess what? The Lord told me where He wants us to go to Bible School!" I was so full of anticipation to tell him my news, I told him the second I opened the door to the apartment! He was still standing outside the doorway when I said that!
And, much to my surprise, Jeremy said, "The Lord told me where He wants us to go to Bible School today, too!"
We just stood there looking at each other, and I remember thinking, "I hope it's the same place." Ha! Ha! God does have a great sense of humor, that's for sure!
And, glory to God, I'm thankful to say it was! He told us both that He wanted us to go to Rhema Bible Training Center in Broken Arrow, OK. Now, you may think that of course that would happen because we had already been thinking about going to Rhema, but that was not the case. As a matter of fact, I did not even know where Rhema Bible Training Center was in Broken Arrow, even though my dad, step-mom, step-brother and half-sister had all lived in Broken Arrow for years. When I saw the Rhema campus for the first time, I couldn't believe it! I had always thought Rhema was a children's hospital, for some reason. Maybe because they decorate so pretty at Christmas. I don't know, but that's what I had always thought.
And, I had never even heard of Rev Kenneth E Hagin, the founder of Rhema. I didn't know a thing about him, and I wouldn't have recognized him if I was sitting right next to him on an airplane. I didn't know his testimony, his story, nothing. So, unlike a lot of people that attend Rhema Bible Training Center, when we got there, we knew absolutely nothing, well, pretty much about anything. But, we did KNOW that we were supposed to go to school there. We were 100% sure of that, and that was all we needed!
When I look back over that time in our lives, it is so precious to me! Jeremy and I were just spiritual little babies when we went there, and we grew up together at Rhema. How could I not cherish such a special time in our lives? We learned so much spiritually, and we also learned a lot naturally, too. We were pretty young when we got married. I was 21, and Jeremy was almost 21. Yes, I am about eight months older than Jeremy, and trust me when I say, he never lets me forget it either! I am so thankful the Lord let us grow up together like that. So, very, very thankful!
Yes, it is wonderful when things like that happen! I've also learned since then that sometimes when things like that happen, it can also mean that it's going to be a challenging road ahead. And, going to Rhema was pretty challenging in a lot of ways, but that's OK. It was worth it, more than worth it, and still to this day words can not express how thankful I am for the years we had there.
Rhema actually means an "utterance" or "thing said" in Greek. I heard it said many times while attending school and church there that Rhema means God's Word for you today. That's what you always need to know, what God is speaking to you today, what He has for you to do today, what will help you today. It's great to think about what you did yesterday, or what you will do in the future, but the only thing you can actually do, you have to do today. And, while at Rhema we definitely learned to hear God's voice more clearly, and know Him more intimately. Life changing. That's exactly what it was. Life changing.
Well, I thought this blog was going to be about me telling Jeremy my idea about going back to college, but I guess it's not. This story is much more interesting anyway! :) God always knows the perfect word for today, and I guess this one was it, not the other. So, be blessed my friends, and know that God is leading you today, too! And, maybe I'll share the other one another time...probably next time. Love you all!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sitting On It
So, I just sat on this new information for a while. Do you know what I mean by that? I've walked with the Lord for a little while now, and I've learned a few things, though I know there's tons more to learn about our great God! But, one thing I've noticed about walking with God is that when something is from the Lord, the desire gets stronger and stronger as time goes on, and is especially strong when you're in the presence of God, such as in a worship service at church. So, I just sat on this new information, meaning I did not mention it to anyone, not even my husband, Jeremy.
You may wonder why I didn't mention it to Jeremy, but we've been married a few years now, and I know him pretty well. And, I had the feeling he might not be that excited about this new idea at first, so before I mentioned it to him, I decided I better make sure I had heard from God and it wasn't just some crazy idea that I had on my own. And also, it was just a dream idea anyway. Remember, it was something I would do if money and time were no object, but at the moment, money and time were an object, especially the time part. My days were pretty busy, and going back to school to finish my teaching degree was certainly not something I could see in the natural working into my schedule.
So as the weeks went by, I would think about what I had written in my green spiral notebook, but really not a lot. It sounded exciting and fun, but I was taking care of five cutie-pies each day and my family in the evenings, so going back to school was a fleeting thought.
Now, about this same time our family had started a "Walk Across Missouri on our Treadmill Challenge." Yep, we were all walking on the treadmill a certain amount of miles each week, and seeing how long it would take our family as a whole to walk across the state of Missouri. We were each supposed to walk at least seven miles each week (Well, not Denise and Derek, but the rest of us), and I know that sounds fairly easy when you say it, but when you're actually doing it, it's not as easy as it sounds. So, I was faithfully walking on the treadmill several times each week, and usually while doing this I would talk to the Lord and the Lord would speak to me. I could probably hear from Him so well at that time because I wasn't focused on anything else! I"m sure you can relate!
So, one day I was walking and this thought came to me so quickly that it will take longer for me to write it out than it actually took for me to think it, if you know what I mean. Sometimes when the Lord speaks things to your heart, you just know what He is saying, but then to explain it to someone else it takes a while. But, it was just a quick knowing that I could go back to school and finish my degree.
"How could I do that?" I thought.
"When Derek starts Kindergarten in two years, you could go back to school full-time while he is at school and finish your degree."
Oh, well, there you go! Have you ever noticed how simple something sounds once the Lord shows you something? I mean, I couldn't do the home daycare if I did that, and I couldn't work during the day if I did that, and it does cost money to go to school, but it would give me a big block of time that I could take classes. Hmmm, that was a definite possibility, wasn't it? I got kind of excited as I was walking on the treadmill, and I just kept thinking about that the whole time I walked! Maybe I really could go back to school full-time...maybe this really was something the Lord wanted me to do...Lord, do You want me to pursue this? That truly was the most important question.
A side note here (I am always full of side notes, just to let you know!): Jeremy and I have always lived by pretty much one motto. "Find out what God wants you to do, and do that. Anything else is foolish." It's really the truth. How can you go wrong if you follow God, and do what He wants you to do, even when it's hard? You really can't, because He knows everything about everything, and if He wants you to do something, no matter what it looks like in the natural, it's always the thing to do. Truthfully, I could talk about this all day, and not exhaust the subject. God knows EVERYTHING, and He loves you, so if He tells you to do something, it WILL work out. And, there you have it! :)
So, over the next couple of months, this desire just kept growing and growing inside of me, but I still hadn't mentioned it to anyone. Then one day I was walking on the treadmill again, probably wondering if this Walk Across Missouri thing really was a good idea, and it hit me, "God does want me to finish school and become a teacher." Boom! And, tears just started streaming down my face, and I just started thanking the Lord. I said, "Lord, thank you so much that you have given me all these years at home with my kids! I've gotten to be a stay-at-home mommy just like I wanted, basically for all of Diane's life. If I go back to school in two years, I'll have been (minus a couple of years) a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, and yet, I'll still have maybe 20 or 25 years that I could teach and impact other children, besides my own. Thank you so much, Lord! Thank you that I've had this time at home, and now You're going to give me the opportunity to be a blessing in so many other kids' lives. You are so good to me! You make the impossible things possible!"
And, you know, that is the truth! Living for God is never boring. He always has a new adventure for you right around the corner, you just have to keep walking with Him, and trusting Him, and He'll show you just what He has for you, personally! And, I was becoming more and more convinced that going back to college was what God had in my future, though if I thought about it too much it got a little overwhelming, so I didn't let myself think about the logistics of it much. Yes, the time had come to mention the idea to my sweet, wonderful husband, and see what he thought about the whole thing. But, more about that in my next post...
You may wonder why I didn't mention it to Jeremy, but we've been married a few years now, and I know him pretty well. And, I had the feeling he might not be that excited about this new idea at first, so before I mentioned it to him, I decided I better make sure I had heard from God and it wasn't just some crazy idea that I had on my own. And also, it was just a dream idea anyway. Remember, it was something I would do if money and time were no object, but at the moment, money and time were an object, especially the time part. My days were pretty busy, and going back to school to finish my teaching degree was certainly not something I could see in the natural working into my schedule.
So as the weeks went by, I would think about what I had written in my green spiral notebook, but really not a lot. It sounded exciting and fun, but I was taking care of five cutie-pies each day and my family in the evenings, so going back to school was a fleeting thought.
Now, about this same time our family had started a "Walk Across Missouri on our Treadmill Challenge." Yep, we were all walking on the treadmill a certain amount of miles each week, and seeing how long it would take our family as a whole to walk across the state of Missouri. We were each supposed to walk at least seven miles each week (Well, not Denise and Derek, but the rest of us), and I know that sounds fairly easy when you say it, but when you're actually doing it, it's not as easy as it sounds. So, I was faithfully walking on the treadmill several times each week, and usually while doing this I would talk to the Lord and the Lord would speak to me. I could probably hear from Him so well at that time because I wasn't focused on anything else! I"m sure you can relate!
So, one day I was walking and this thought came to me so quickly that it will take longer for me to write it out than it actually took for me to think it, if you know what I mean. Sometimes when the Lord speaks things to your heart, you just know what He is saying, but then to explain it to someone else it takes a while. But, it was just a quick knowing that I could go back to school and finish my degree.
"How could I do that?" I thought.
"When Derek starts Kindergarten in two years, you could go back to school full-time while he is at school and finish your degree."
Oh, well, there you go! Have you ever noticed how simple something sounds once the Lord shows you something? I mean, I couldn't do the home daycare if I did that, and I couldn't work during the day if I did that, and it does cost money to go to school, but it would give me a big block of time that I could take classes. Hmmm, that was a definite possibility, wasn't it? I got kind of excited as I was walking on the treadmill, and I just kept thinking about that the whole time I walked! Maybe I really could go back to school full-time...maybe this really was something the Lord wanted me to do...Lord, do You want me to pursue this? That truly was the most important question.
A side note here (I am always full of side notes, just to let you know!): Jeremy and I have always lived by pretty much one motto. "Find out what God wants you to do, and do that. Anything else is foolish." It's really the truth. How can you go wrong if you follow God, and do what He wants you to do, even when it's hard? You really can't, because He knows everything about everything, and if He wants you to do something, no matter what it looks like in the natural, it's always the thing to do. Truthfully, I could talk about this all day, and not exhaust the subject. God knows EVERYTHING, and He loves you, so if He tells you to do something, it WILL work out. And, there you have it! :)
So, over the next couple of months, this desire just kept growing and growing inside of me, but I still hadn't mentioned it to anyone. Then one day I was walking on the treadmill again, probably wondering if this Walk Across Missouri thing really was a good idea, and it hit me, "God does want me to finish school and become a teacher." Boom! And, tears just started streaming down my face, and I just started thanking the Lord. I said, "Lord, thank you so much that you have given me all these years at home with my kids! I've gotten to be a stay-at-home mommy just like I wanted, basically for all of Diane's life. If I go back to school in two years, I'll have been (minus a couple of years) a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, and yet, I'll still have maybe 20 or 25 years that I could teach and impact other children, besides my own. Thank you so much, Lord! Thank you that I've had this time at home, and now You're going to give me the opportunity to be a blessing in so many other kids' lives. You are so good to me! You make the impossible things possible!"
And, you know, that is the truth! Living for God is never boring. He always has a new adventure for you right around the corner, you just have to keep walking with Him, and trusting Him, and He'll show you just what He has for you, personally! And, I was becoming more and more convinced that going back to college was what God had in my future, though if I thought about it too much it got a little overwhelming, so I didn't let myself think about the logistics of it much. Yes, the time had come to mention the idea to my sweet, wonderful husband, and see what he thought about the whole thing. But, more about that in my next post...
Friday, April 20, 2012
The Question
So, in May of 1992 I left Emporia State University and never looked back. I moved back to Parsons, KS, my hometown, got an apartment with my life-long best friend, Jayne, got engaged to Jeremy, and then got married. We moved to Broken Arrow, OK the day of our wedding to attend Rhema Bible Training Center, which we did. While there, we had two children, a girl first and then a boy. Then we moved to Olathe, KS, had two more children, a girl and then a boy, and adopted an almost 10-year old girl in the middle of those two children. Soon after the adoption was finalized, we moved to Branson, MO, where we live now. Whew! Did you catch all that? I'm sure you did, because you are so quick and sharp! Yep, that's pretty much my life in a nutshell, married for almost 19 years with five beautiful children.
In the spring of 2010 I started working part-time at Bath and Body Works, and then in the fall of 2010 I started a full-time, small home daycare. I only watched teachers' children, and I had a baby boy, a 1 year old boy, a 2 year old boy, a 3 year old boy (Mine!) and a 3 year old girl! Oh my! Just writing it out reminds me of how busy my days were with five children ages three and under all day! (But, I must add, I enjoyed having all those children so much!) And, I also came to the conclusion during that year that I really like the teachers' schedule, and that it works out very nicely for a mother of five kids!
Meanwhile, at our church our associate pastor had been preaching occasionally and several times he posed the same question, "What would you do if money were no object?" He explained that soon after he began working with our pastor, our pastor asked him this very same question, "What would you do if money were no object?" I thought it was a good question, because it's good to have dreams. The only problem was, my life was so busy day-in and day-out, I really had no idea what I would do, personally, if money were no object.
For several months that question rolled over and over in my mind. I couldn't believe that I had no answer. I would ask the Lord, I would think about it, and yet I seemed to draw a blank on what I would do. I could think of what I would give to other people and ministries if money were no object, but I really wasn't sure what I would do personally. I had a feeling it wasn't what I was doing, working a part-time and a full-time job, while taking care of my precious family. But, what would I do? Hmmm...
Finally, one day, out of the blue, the Lord spoke to my heart, not out loud, but softly, inside, "What would you do if money and time were no object?"
My instant answer after that was, "I'd go back to school and finish my degree!"
My instant thought after that was, "What?!? I would???"
An excitement rose up inside of me! I'd go back to school and finish my degree! That's what I would do if money and time were not an issue! Money wasn't necessarily the big hold-up for me; time was! I was so busy, but when God took away the money and the time issue, I knew just what I would do! I was excited and, well, to be quite honest, shocked! I had no idea that I wanted to finish my degree. I truly had no idea! I mean, that was not what I was expecting the answer to that question to be. It hadn't even been a fleeting thought in my mind. No, to me this answer was completely out in left field, and yet, I felt so excited about the idea. I thought about that all day long.
And, that night when I was laying in bed, I got out my little green spiral notebook that I like to write special things down in, and I wrote this: "What would I do personally if money and time were a non-issue? Go back to college and finish my degree." And, I wrote this date beside it, "January of 2011." Yes, it had taken me several months to finally hear the Lord's voice on this, but He had spoken to my heart and I knew the answer to my question.
And that, my friends, is the beginning of what this blog is all about...
In the spring of 2010 I started working part-time at Bath and Body Works, and then in the fall of 2010 I started a full-time, small home daycare. I only watched teachers' children, and I had a baby boy, a 1 year old boy, a 2 year old boy, a 3 year old boy (Mine!) and a 3 year old girl! Oh my! Just writing it out reminds me of how busy my days were with five children ages three and under all day! (But, I must add, I enjoyed having all those children so much!) And, I also came to the conclusion during that year that I really like the teachers' schedule, and that it works out very nicely for a mother of five kids!
Meanwhile, at our church our associate pastor had been preaching occasionally and several times he posed the same question, "What would you do if money were no object?" He explained that soon after he began working with our pastor, our pastor asked him this very same question, "What would you do if money were no object?" I thought it was a good question, because it's good to have dreams. The only problem was, my life was so busy day-in and day-out, I really had no idea what I would do, personally, if money were no object.
For several months that question rolled over and over in my mind. I couldn't believe that I had no answer. I would ask the Lord, I would think about it, and yet I seemed to draw a blank on what I would do. I could think of what I would give to other people and ministries if money were no object, but I really wasn't sure what I would do personally. I had a feeling it wasn't what I was doing, working a part-time and a full-time job, while taking care of my precious family. But, what would I do? Hmmm...
Finally, one day, out of the blue, the Lord spoke to my heart, not out loud, but softly, inside, "What would you do if money and time were no object?"
My instant answer after that was, "I'd go back to school and finish my degree!"
My instant thought after that was, "What?!? I would???"
An excitement rose up inside of me! I'd go back to school and finish my degree! That's what I would do if money and time were not an issue! Money wasn't necessarily the big hold-up for me; time was! I was so busy, but when God took away the money and the time issue, I knew just what I would do! I was excited and, well, to be quite honest, shocked! I had no idea that I wanted to finish my degree. I truly had no idea! I mean, that was not what I was expecting the answer to that question to be. It hadn't even been a fleeting thought in my mind. No, to me this answer was completely out in left field, and yet, I felt so excited about the idea. I thought about that all day long.
And, that night when I was laying in bed, I got out my little green spiral notebook that I like to write special things down in, and I wrote this: "What would I do personally if money and time were a non-issue? Go back to college and finish my degree." And, I wrote this date beside it, "January of 2011." Yes, it had taken me several months to finally hear the Lord's voice on this, but He had spoken to my heart and I knew the answer to my question.
And that, my friends, is the beginning of what this blog is all about...
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Meal
On a little different note, yesterday in church our pastor shared a story about God protecting him, and it reminded me of a situation that occurred years ago in my life. It was the fall of 1994, and I was about 6 months pregnant with our first child, Diane. Jeremy and I had been married for about a year and a half, and he was attending Rhema Bible Training Center in Broken Arrow, OK. We had wanted to go at the same time, but it seemed like he should go first and I should wait a year, so that is what we did. Soon after, I found out I was expecting our first child, so it was good that I hadn't started school that year, even though I had really wanted to be there with him.
We went to church at Rhema Bible Church, and it was and is a very large church. Now, we grew up in a small town, and graduated from a small school. Everyone knew each other, and it was a very homey environment. So, being in this large church, as wonderful as it was, was a HUGE change for us. They did have what they called School of the Bible (basically Sunday School), and they divided the classes up by age and marital status. Thus, we were in the Young Marrieds up to age 29 class.
That particular Sunday in class our teacher shared about a family who was going through a difficult time (The wife had been in the hospital.) and could use some meals each day of the week. I quickly raised my hand to say that I could bring a meal to them the very next day. I was excited, because this seemed like a very small-town thing to do, and I thought it would be great to be a blessing to this family. Come to find out, they lived far out in the country on the south side of Broken Arrow. Now this was before the time of Mapquest and GPS systems and all that, so I got their address, phone number and some very VAGUE directions on how to get there. "You go down this gravel road for about 3 miles, and you'll see a white house on your left. That's their house." That kind of a thing.
Jeremy went to school in the morning, and worked all afternoon and evening, so I was home alone that Monday. I fixed a meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and some sort of dessert. I must say it smelled so good. We were on a very limited food budget, so we really didn't eat meals like that, and it made my mouth water just smelling it! Anyway, I had been calling their house to get better directions, but the line had been busy all day long. I knew they had two teenagers, so I figured one of them was on the phone. Well, it was getting close to the dinner hour and the meal was hot and ready, so I decided I would just start heading to their house with the directions I had.
A note here: Please remember that I was very young at this time, and I didn't make the best safety decision in this situation. You learn a lot as you age, which, by the way, is a huge benefit about being forty. You have a lot of past to look at, and you learn a lot from it. But anyway, lots of people would have realized it probably wasn't the best idea for a young, very pregnant woman to take a meal to a family out in the country all by herself, but unfortunately I wasn't one of those people. So, off I headed to their house, believing that the Lord would lead me right to it! :)
I had a great time driving out there, listening to praise and worship music and singing my heart out to the Lord. I hit the gravel road, looked at my odometer, and noted that in about 3 miles I would be to their house. I was really in the middle of nowhere. There was just open country everywhere, no houses, nothing. But, sure enough, in about 3 miles on the left side of the road was a white house, set pretty far back from the road.
"Glory to God!" I thought, "Here it is!"
Now, I had all that yummy food in the passenger's seat of my little blue Chevy Spectrum, and I decided to leave it in the car and just go knock on the door. (You are probably inwardly cringing right now, and I really don't blame you. Yes, I was very naive at this point in my life.) So, I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I listened and could hear loud music coming from inside the house, but there was no answer. I hadn't heard the doorbell ring, so I rang it again and knocked. Still no answer, but I figured someone must be home because of the loud music. I knew the mom was in the hospital and the dad could have been at work, so I guessed it was the teenagers.
I came to the conclusion that they probably couldn't hear the doorbell (I knew that I couldn't.) or me knocking, so I decided to walk around to the backyard. I walked around to the right side of the house, and got about two-thirds of the way back, when these two humongous dogs began running towards me. I mean, they were huge! I'm not a very tall lady, and these dogs were probably up to about my chest, though I didn't take very long to study them. They were barking and running towards me with all their might, and they did not seem very happy to see me.
All that I could think of was my baby girl, Diane, and that I didn't want anything to happen to her. I started running, as best I could being so big and pregnant, toward my car, but it was easy to see that there was no way I was going to make it to my car before those dogs made it to me. Without even thinking, I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Jesus! Help me!"
Everything was happening very quickly, and it seemed that any minute those dogs would be on me, but I just kept my focus on getting to the car. I reached the car, and grabbed the car door handle. At that moment I turned and saw both those dogs jumping towards me, up on their hind legs. And, they should have been on top of me, but they weren't. I opened my car door and looked at them, and it looked like they were suspended in mid-air on a big piece of glass. It was as if there was a piece of invisible glass between me and those dogs, and they were laying against it. It's hard to believe myself, but that is exactly what happened, and it happened very quickly also. I jumped in that car and closed my car door as fast as I could, and the second my door was closed, both of those dogs fell against the driver's side car door window. Bam! It was as if as soon as I closed the door, the invisible glass disappeared and the dogs fell.
They weren't happy about that, and they ran away the other direction. I just sat there for a minute, breathless and shaking. I drove away from that house back into town, and the whole way I thanked God for protecting me and my sweet little baby from those dogs! It was miraculous, absolutely miraculous! I thanked him and praised Him the whole way home! I'm not sure if it was an angel that protected me that day or some other kind of divine intervention, but what I do know is that when I called on Jesus to help me, He did!
You may be wondering at this point about the food, or maybe you had forgotten all about that. It was still setting there in the car, and at this point I was tempted to have it for our dinner that evening! But, can you believe that when I got home, I called our School of the Bible teacher and she said to just meet him up at the church recreation center (about 1 mile from our apartment)? So I did, and he was very appreciative for the food for his family. To God be all the glory! Yep, He takes care of His children, even when they don't make the smartest decisions. Just another reason that I love Him so very much!
We went to church at Rhema Bible Church, and it was and is a very large church. Now, we grew up in a small town, and graduated from a small school. Everyone knew each other, and it was a very homey environment. So, being in this large church, as wonderful as it was, was a HUGE change for us. They did have what they called School of the Bible (basically Sunday School), and they divided the classes up by age and marital status. Thus, we were in the Young Marrieds up to age 29 class.
That particular Sunday in class our teacher shared about a family who was going through a difficult time (The wife had been in the hospital.) and could use some meals each day of the week. I quickly raised my hand to say that I could bring a meal to them the very next day. I was excited, because this seemed like a very small-town thing to do, and I thought it would be great to be a blessing to this family. Come to find out, they lived far out in the country on the south side of Broken Arrow. Now this was before the time of Mapquest and GPS systems and all that, so I got their address, phone number and some very VAGUE directions on how to get there. "You go down this gravel road for about 3 miles, and you'll see a white house on your left. That's their house." That kind of a thing.
Jeremy went to school in the morning, and worked all afternoon and evening, so I was home alone that Monday. I fixed a meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and some sort of dessert. I must say it smelled so good. We were on a very limited food budget, so we really didn't eat meals like that, and it made my mouth water just smelling it! Anyway, I had been calling their house to get better directions, but the line had been busy all day long. I knew they had two teenagers, so I figured one of them was on the phone. Well, it was getting close to the dinner hour and the meal was hot and ready, so I decided I would just start heading to their house with the directions I had.
A note here: Please remember that I was very young at this time, and I didn't make the best safety decision in this situation. You learn a lot as you age, which, by the way, is a huge benefit about being forty. You have a lot of past to look at, and you learn a lot from it. But anyway, lots of people would have realized it probably wasn't the best idea for a young, very pregnant woman to take a meal to a family out in the country all by herself, but unfortunately I wasn't one of those people. So, off I headed to their house, believing that the Lord would lead me right to it! :)
I had a great time driving out there, listening to praise and worship music and singing my heart out to the Lord. I hit the gravel road, looked at my odometer, and noted that in about 3 miles I would be to their house. I was really in the middle of nowhere. There was just open country everywhere, no houses, nothing. But, sure enough, in about 3 miles on the left side of the road was a white house, set pretty far back from the road.
"Glory to God!" I thought, "Here it is!"
Now, I had all that yummy food in the passenger's seat of my little blue Chevy Spectrum, and I decided to leave it in the car and just go knock on the door. (You are probably inwardly cringing right now, and I really don't blame you. Yes, I was very naive at this point in my life.) So, I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I listened and could hear loud music coming from inside the house, but there was no answer. I hadn't heard the doorbell ring, so I rang it again and knocked. Still no answer, but I figured someone must be home because of the loud music. I knew the mom was in the hospital and the dad could have been at work, so I guessed it was the teenagers.
I came to the conclusion that they probably couldn't hear the doorbell (I knew that I couldn't.) or me knocking, so I decided to walk around to the backyard. I walked around to the right side of the house, and got about two-thirds of the way back, when these two humongous dogs began running towards me. I mean, they were huge! I'm not a very tall lady, and these dogs were probably up to about my chest, though I didn't take very long to study them. They were barking and running towards me with all their might, and they did not seem very happy to see me.
All that I could think of was my baby girl, Diane, and that I didn't want anything to happen to her. I started running, as best I could being so big and pregnant, toward my car, but it was easy to see that there was no way I was going to make it to my car before those dogs made it to me. Without even thinking, I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Jesus! Help me!"
Everything was happening very quickly, and it seemed that any minute those dogs would be on me, but I just kept my focus on getting to the car. I reached the car, and grabbed the car door handle. At that moment I turned and saw both those dogs jumping towards me, up on their hind legs. And, they should have been on top of me, but they weren't. I opened my car door and looked at them, and it looked like they were suspended in mid-air on a big piece of glass. It was as if there was a piece of invisible glass between me and those dogs, and they were laying against it. It's hard to believe myself, but that is exactly what happened, and it happened very quickly also. I jumped in that car and closed my car door as fast as I could, and the second my door was closed, both of those dogs fell against the driver's side car door window. Bam! It was as if as soon as I closed the door, the invisible glass disappeared and the dogs fell.
They weren't happy about that, and they ran away the other direction. I just sat there for a minute, breathless and shaking. I drove away from that house back into town, and the whole way I thanked God for protecting me and my sweet little baby from those dogs! It was miraculous, absolutely miraculous! I thanked him and praised Him the whole way home! I'm not sure if it was an angel that protected me that day or some other kind of divine intervention, but what I do know is that when I called on Jesus to help me, He did!
You may be wondering at this point about the food, or maybe you had forgotten all about that. It was still setting there in the car, and at this point I was tempted to have it for our dinner that evening! But, can you believe that when I got home, I called our School of the Bible teacher and she said to just meet him up at the church recreation center (about 1 mile from our apartment)? So I did, and he was very appreciative for the food for his family. To God be all the glory! Yep, He takes care of His children, even when they don't make the smartest decisions. Just another reason that I love Him so very much!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
God-pleaser!
Yeah, basically I was one way one day, and completely different the next! I look back on that time, and I can only imagine what it was like for my family, especially my parents (Now that I am a parent, and especially now that I am a parent of three teenagers, I feel I can relate to what my parents may have been feeling.). I truly was a completely different person.
For the first twenty years of my life, I was a people-pleaser. I'm not sure why, but that's the way I was. All my life, I wanted everyone, and I mean everyone, to be happy with me. My parents divorced when I was five, and I wanted to please them both. I wanted to please my mom and I wanted to please my dad. If situations arose where it wasn't possible to please both of them, it was very stressful and emotional for me. I wanted to please my teachers. I wanted to please everyone. I never wanted anyone to be mad at me, and if they were, I did whatever I could to try to fix the situation. I think if you looked up people-pleaser in the dictionary, it had my name written right beside it! And, of course, at that point in my life, I wanted to please my boyfriend, Jeremy, most of all.
But, everything changed that day in April. I had put God first in my life, and there was a new boldness about me that hadn't been there before. And, the Lord spoke the most freeing thing to me. Now, here's something interesting that seems simple, but maybe it isn't. The Lord KNOWS you! He does! He knows you, and He knows just what will help you the most in your life. And, He knew me so well, even though I didn't know Him very well at all. And, He spoke these words to my heart, not out loud, but I knew that it was Him.
"The only Person you have to please from now on is me."
Words cannot describe the relief that flooded me. Wow! I only have to please one person from here on out! That's it! It was a freedom I had never experienced, and I was so excited about this wonderful revelation. I guess that's what it really was to me, a revelation.
And, it got bigger. You see, like I said previously, I was a resident assistant and I had a room all to myself, so besides going to school full-time and my resident assistant duties, I had a lot of time to spend with the Lord. I read the Bible some, but mostly I prayed. I talked to God constantly about anything and everything, and He spoke back to me. I was in awe every time I heard that still, soft voice say something to me. It was a dream-come-true for me, actually. I was so thankful to know that God loved me. I was so thankful to know that God was pleased with me.
Let me add a little side-note here. There is NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING, more fulfilling than knowing that God is pleased with you. Nothing will ever give you a peace to stand in the face of opposition like that will. Because really, who cares what everyone else thinks about you if God is pleased with you? And, that was my stance in life at this point. And, I was pretty on-fire, bold about it!
So, during that month or so that was left of my sophomore year of college, I asked the Lord what His plan was for me, if He had one. (I didn't know at this point that God has a plan for EVERYONE! I had no idea about that.) Interestingly enough, his plan for me was just what I wanted to do and hadn't even realized. God truly knows the desires of your heart, even more than you do. :)
So, one day during that time, He spoke to my heart once again and said He wanted me to leave Emporia State University, go to Bible school somewhere (He didn't say where then.) and study music ministry. And, I cannot express the joy that brought me. Go to Bible school! Learn more about my Lord! And, music ministry, of all things! Singing was something I had always enjoyed, but never felt I was good enough at to pursue. Guess what? If God tells you you're good enough, then you are! I love Him so much!
You can only imagine how this was for my family! I mean, I was completely different, but they were still the same. My step-dad, Bill, was talking with Jeremy a short while after all this had occurred, and Bill told Jeremy, "I just feel like we've lost Nikki."
Jeremy responded so wisely. He said, "In a sense, we all have. She's living for God now, and she's going to do whatever He tells her to do."
Yep, that pretty much summed it all up. In one day I went from being a complete people-pleaser to a total God-pleaser, and I haven't looked back since! And, the ride continues, but more on that in my next blog!
For the first twenty years of my life, I was a people-pleaser. I'm not sure why, but that's the way I was. All my life, I wanted everyone, and I mean everyone, to be happy with me. My parents divorced when I was five, and I wanted to please them both. I wanted to please my mom and I wanted to please my dad. If situations arose where it wasn't possible to please both of them, it was very stressful and emotional for me. I wanted to please my teachers. I wanted to please everyone. I never wanted anyone to be mad at me, and if they were, I did whatever I could to try to fix the situation. I think if you looked up people-pleaser in the dictionary, it had my name written right beside it! And, of course, at that point in my life, I wanted to please my boyfriend, Jeremy, most of all.
But, everything changed that day in April. I had put God first in my life, and there was a new boldness about me that hadn't been there before. And, the Lord spoke the most freeing thing to me. Now, here's something interesting that seems simple, but maybe it isn't. The Lord KNOWS you! He does! He knows you, and He knows just what will help you the most in your life. And, He knew me so well, even though I didn't know Him very well at all. And, He spoke these words to my heart, not out loud, but I knew that it was Him.
"The only Person you have to please from now on is me."
Words cannot describe the relief that flooded me. Wow! I only have to please one person from here on out! That's it! It was a freedom I had never experienced, and I was so excited about this wonderful revelation. I guess that's what it really was to me, a revelation.
And, it got bigger. You see, like I said previously, I was a resident assistant and I had a room all to myself, so besides going to school full-time and my resident assistant duties, I had a lot of time to spend with the Lord. I read the Bible some, but mostly I prayed. I talked to God constantly about anything and everything, and He spoke back to me. I was in awe every time I heard that still, soft voice say something to me. It was a dream-come-true for me, actually. I was so thankful to know that God loved me. I was so thankful to know that God was pleased with me.
Let me add a little side-note here. There is NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING, more fulfilling than knowing that God is pleased with you. Nothing will ever give you a peace to stand in the face of opposition like that will. Because really, who cares what everyone else thinks about you if God is pleased with you? And, that was my stance in life at this point. And, I was pretty on-fire, bold about it!
So, during that month or so that was left of my sophomore year of college, I asked the Lord what His plan was for me, if He had one. (I didn't know at this point that God has a plan for EVERYONE! I had no idea about that.) Interestingly enough, his plan for me was just what I wanted to do and hadn't even realized. God truly knows the desires of your heart, even more than you do. :)
So, one day during that time, He spoke to my heart once again and said He wanted me to leave Emporia State University, go to Bible school somewhere (He didn't say where then.) and study music ministry. And, I cannot express the joy that brought me. Go to Bible school! Learn more about my Lord! And, music ministry, of all things! Singing was something I had always enjoyed, but never felt I was good enough at to pursue. Guess what? If God tells you you're good enough, then you are! I love Him so much!
You can only imagine how this was for my family! I mean, I was completely different, but they were still the same. My step-dad, Bill, was talking with Jeremy a short while after all this had occurred, and Bill told Jeremy, "I just feel like we've lost Nikki."
Jeremy responded so wisely. He said, "In a sense, we all have. She's living for God now, and she's going to do whatever He tells her to do."
Yep, that pretty much summed it all up. In one day I went from being a complete people-pleaser to a total God-pleaser, and I haven't looked back since! And, the ride continues, but more on that in my next blog!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
God First
I was a Resident Assistant my sophomore year at ESU, so one nice benefit about that was that I had a room all to myself. With this new information I had learned from Jeremy, I began diligently reading the book of Acts, to see if I could find what he was talking about. Let me give you a little background information here though. At this point in my life, Jeremy was #1 to me. I loved him, he loved me, and in my mind, someday we would get married. He was first place in my heart, first place in my life. Yep, that pretty much explains it. So, back to my reading in Acts.
I prayed and asked God to show me if this was true, if there really was a separate experience from salvation. And, I asked Him, could He really speak to me today and let me know His plan for my life, if He even had a plan for my life? These were some of the questions I asked Him as I read through the book of Acts.
Well, it didn't take me very long to get to Acts 2 and see that there were some believers that got filled with the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost and that they did speak in tongues. Hmmm. Interesting. Well, if this was something God had for me, so be it! I wanted to know Him, and that was that. So, about a week after Jeremy had told me about his experience, at around midnight (I'm a total night owl, by the way!), I asked the Lord to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and I heard Him speak to me for the very first time (that I was aware of). What He said pretty much surprised me, to say the least.
"First call Jeremy and break up with him."
Now, this is not a doctrine here. This is just my experience. I am not saying that to be filled with the Holy Spirit you have to do something first. This is just what happened to me.
My reaction to that was, "What?"
"First call Jeremy and break up with him."
By this time, it was after midnight, and Jeremy lived at home with his parents, and I really didn't think it was a great idea to call him so late at night. And, of course, there was the fact that I loved Jeremy and was planning to marry him someday. Yeah, just that little thing. But, I knew that the God of Heaven had just communicated with me. I hadn't heard an audible voice, but it was a still, soft voice coming from inside of me. And, if God wanted me and Jeremy to break up, then that is exactly what we would do. Yeah, I would miss him, but this was God here! And, I wasn't about to argue with Him. And, besides that, I did want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and come to know my Lord more.
So, I picked up my phone and dialed the number that I knew so well, praying that Jeremy would be the one to answer. I really had no plan as to what I was going to say to him. But, Jeremy had been so excited about the Lord since being filled with the Holy Spirit, I knew that He would want God's perfect will also, even if it meant us not being together.
Jeremy didn't answer. His dad did.
"I'm sorry to call so late, but I was wondering if I could speak to Jeremy for a few minutes," I said.
"He's not home," his dad responded.
"What?" I thought. "Where could he be?"
"OK, I'll just talk to him tomorrow then. Sorry to bother you so late."
We hung up. I wasn't sure why Jeremy wasn't home, or where he was, but I had more important things to think about than that at the moment. I was having intimate time with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He was talking to me, so I didn't want that to end.
"He's not home, Lord. But I'll call him in the morning and break up with him. I just want to do what you want me to do."
I can't remember the Lord's exact response to me, but it was something like this. "No, I don't want you to break up with Jeremy. But, now I know I am first place in your life. You will do whatever I want you to do, regardless of how you feel about it."
I cannot begin to express how precious those words were to me. Even today, twenty years later (almost to the day, amazingly enough), it still brings tears to my eyes. And, the Lord did fill me with the Holy Spirit in those wee hours of the morning, and I spoke in tongues for the first time in my life. And, I must say that living for Him these past twenty years has been such an adventure, and I am more in love with Him today than I was then, if that is even possible.
Another thing that I realized that night was that Jeremy and I would be getting married. I didn't tell Jeremy that, but I knew in my heart that if God didn't want us to break up, then He wanted us to get married some day. I didn't know that much about the Lord, but I was positive that He wasn't into people just dating for the fun of it. No, if He wanted us to stay together, He wanted us to get married someday.
Yes, April 13, 1992 was a big day for me, to put it mildly. And, things were about to change pretty drastically in my life from that point. It's like I had hopped on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime, and I am never getting off! But, more about that in my next post. Love to you all!
I prayed and asked God to show me if this was true, if there really was a separate experience from salvation. And, I asked Him, could He really speak to me today and let me know His plan for my life, if He even had a plan for my life? These were some of the questions I asked Him as I read through the book of Acts.
Well, it didn't take me very long to get to Acts 2 and see that there were some believers that got filled with the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost and that they did speak in tongues. Hmmm. Interesting. Well, if this was something God had for me, so be it! I wanted to know Him, and that was that. So, about a week after Jeremy had told me about his experience, at around midnight (I'm a total night owl, by the way!), I asked the Lord to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and I heard Him speak to me for the very first time (that I was aware of). What He said pretty much surprised me, to say the least.
"First call Jeremy and break up with him."
Now, this is not a doctrine here. This is just my experience. I am not saying that to be filled with the Holy Spirit you have to do something first. This is just what happened to me.
My reaction to that was, "What?"
"First call Jeremy and break up with him."
By this time, it was after midnight, and Jeremy lived at home with his parents, and I really didn't think it was a great idea to call him so late at night. And, of course, there was the fact that I loved Jeremy and was planning to marry him someday. Yeah, just that little thing. But, I knew that the God of Heaven had just communicated with me. I hadn't heard an audible voice, but it was a still, soft voice coming from inside of me. And, if God wanted me and Jeremy to break up, then that is exactly what we would do. Yeah, I would miss him, but this was God here! And, I wasn't about to argue with Him. And, besides that, I did want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and come to know my Lord more.
So, I picked up my phone and dialed the number that I knew so well, praying that Jeremy would be the one to answer. I really had no plan as to what I was going to say to him. But, Jeremy had been so excited about the Lord since being filled with the Holy Spirit, I knew that He would want God's perfect will also, even if it meant us not being together.
Jeremy didn't answer. His dad did.
"I'm sorry to call so late, but I was wondering if I could speak to Jeremy for a few minutes," I said.
"He's not home," his dad responded.
"What?" I thought. "Where could he be?"
"OK, I'll just talk to him tomorrow then. Sorry to bother you so late."
We hung up. I wasn't sure why Jeremy wasn't home, or where he was, but I had more important things to think about than that at the moment. I was having intimate time with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He was talking to me, so I didn't want that to end.
"He's not home, Lord. But I'll call him in the morning and break up with him. I just want to do what you want me to do."
I can't remember the Lord's exact response to me, but it was something like this. "No, I don't want you to break up with Jeremy. But, now I know I am first place in your life. You will do whatever I want you to do, regardless of how you feel about it."
I cannot begin to express how precious those words were to me. Even today, twenty years later (almost to the day, amazingly enough), it still brings tears to my eyes. And, the Lord did fill me with the Holy Spirit in those wee hours of the morning, and I spoke in tongues for the first time in my life. And, I must say that living for Him these past twenty years has been such an adventure, and I am more in love with Him today than I was then, if that is even possible.
Another thing that I realized that night was that Jeremy and I would be getting married. I didn't tell Jeremy that, but I knew in my heart that if God didn't want us to break up, then He wanted us to get married some day. I didn't know that much about the Lord, but I was positive that He wasn't into people just dating for the fun of it. No, if He wanted us to stay together, He wanted us to get married someday.
Yes, April 13, 1992 was a big day for me, to put it mildly. And, things were about to change pretty drastically in my life from that point. It's like I had hopped on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime, and I am never getting off! But, more about that in my next post. Love to you all!
Friday, April 13, 2012
The Beginning of Knowing God
So, God heard my prayer and He answered my cry so amazingly. And, on April 13, 1992 (Can you believe this? I just looked it up in my Bible, to see the day, and it was exactly 20 years ago today! Wow! God is so, so amazing!) I asked God to fill me with the Holy Spirit and He did, in such a glorious way. Here are the details (Yes, I am a woman, and I like details! I mean, I really LIKE details! So, if you don't like details (then you're probably a man) and maybe this blog isn't for you! Just kidding...):
So, I was in my second semester of my sophomore year at Emporia State University, and my then-boyfriend, now-husband was attending Labette Community College in Parsons, KS (our hometown). We had been dating for about a year and a half, and he was in a Philosophy class at LCC. His instructor was a man of God, a pastor actually, who asked Jeremy if he would like to come over to his house sometime to talk about the Lord and to be prayed for by Gene, the instructor, and his wife, Jill Day. Jeremy was very excited, as this man had really made an impression on him in class, so he went. As Jeremy was driving over to his house that afternoon, the Lord spoke to him in his car. Now, he didn't hear an audible voice, and if you would have asked him if the Lord had spoken to him, he may not have even realized it was the Lord, but we know now that it was. Jeremy said it seemed like a thought.
"You need to be filled with the Holy Spirit."
Jeremy nervously knocked on the pastor's door, and was welcomed inside by Gene and Jill Day with love and kindness. Gene looked at Jeremy, and the first words out of his mouth were, "So, the Lord tells me that you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit." I'm serious here. I'm not making this up. Jeremy said something like, "Ummm, yeah." I mean, God was moving here. I won't go into all the details, but Jeremy was filled with the Holy Spirit that afternoon and spoke in tongues for the first time.
He called me soon after this happened, and what he said made my head spin. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I could tell he was very happy, excited and full of love for God. Our conversation ended with him telling me something like, "Just read in the book of Acts! You'll see what I'm talking about! Being filled with the Holy Spirit is a separate thing from being saved. Read in Acts and you'll see what I mean. God wants to speak to us today through the Holy Spirit. He wants to lead us and show us what to do."
OK. Well, that was interesting, and that was exactly what I wanted, for God to lead me and show me what He wanted me to do. Hmmm, could this actually be true? Could God actually speak to us today through the Holy Spirit? Was there really such a thing as being filled with the Holy Spirit? I mean, I had gotten saved the summer after my 6th grade year at church camp, but was there something more to knowing and living for God than that? I didn't know, but I was very hungry to find out. More on that in my next blog. Thanks for reading!
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