God First

I was a Resident Assistant my sophomore year at ESU, so one nice benefit about that was that I had a room all to myself.  With this new information I had learned from Jeremy, I began diligently reading the book of Acts, to see if I could find what he was talking about.  Let me give you a little background information here though.  At this point in my life, Jeremy was #1 to me.  I loved him, he loved me, and in my mind, someday we would get married.  He was first place in my heart, first place in my life.  Yep, that pretty much explains it.  So, back to my reading in Acts.

I prayed and asked God to show me if this was true, if there really was a separate experience from salvation.  And, I asked Him, could He really speak to me today and let me know His plan for my life, if He even had a plan for my life?  These were some of the questions I asked Him as I read through the book of Acts.

Well, it didn't take me very long to get to Acts 2 and see that there were some believers that got filled with the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost and that they did speak in tongues.  Hmmm.  Interesting.  Well, if this was something God had for me, so be it!  I wanted to know Him, and that was that.  So, about a week after Jeremy had told me about his experience, at around midnight (I'm a total night owl, by the way!), I asked the Lord to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and I heard Him speak to me for the very first time (that I was aware of).  What He said pretty much surprised me, to say the least.

"First call Jeremy and break up with him."

Now, this is not a doctrine here.  This is just my experience.  I am not saying that to be filled with the Holy Spirit you have to do something first.  This is just what happened to me.

My reaction to that was, "What?"

"First call Jeremy and break up with him."

By this time, it was after midnight, and Jeremy lived at home with his parents, and I really didn't think it was a great idea to call him so late at night.  And, of course, there was the fact that I loved Jeremy and was planning to marry him someday.  Yeah, just that little thing.  But, I knew that the God of Heaven had just communicated with me.  I hadn't heard an audible voice, but it was a still, soft voice coming from inside of me.  And, if God wanted me and Jeremy to break up, then that is exactly what we would do.  Yeah, I would miss him, but this was God here!  And, I wasn't about to argue with Him.  And, besides that, I did want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and come to know my Lord more.

So, I picked up my phone and dialed the number that I knew so well, praying that Jeremy would be the one to answer.  I really had no plan as to what I was going to say to him.  But, Jeremy had been so excited about the Lord since being filled with the Holy Spirit, I knew that He would want God's perfect will also, even if it meant us not being together.

Jeremy didn't answer.  His dad did.

"I'm sorry to call so late, but I was wondering if I could speak to Jeremy for a few minutes," I said.

"He's not home," his dad responded.

"What?" I thought.  "Where could he be?"

"OK, I'll just talk to him tomorrow then.  Sorry to bother you so late."

We hung up.  I wasn't sure why Jeremy wasn't home, or where he was, but I had more important things to think about than that at the moment.  I was having intimate time with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He was talking to me, so I didn't want that to end.

"He's not home, Lord.  But I'll call him in the morning and break up with him.  I just want to do what you want me to do."

I can't remember the Lord's exact response to me, but it was something like this.  "No, I don't want you to break up with Jeremy.  But, now I know I am first place in your life.  You will do whatever I want you to do, regardless of how you feel about it."

I cannot begin to express how precious those words were to me.  Even today, twenty years later (almost to the day, amazingly enough), it still brings tears to my eyes.  And, the Lord did fill me with the Holy Spirit in those wee hours of the morning, and I spoke in tongues for the first time in my life.  And, I must say that living for Him these past twenty years has been such an adventure, and I am more in love with Him today than I was then, if that is even possible.

Another thing that I realized that night was that Jeremy and I would be getting married.  I didn't tell Jeremy that, but I knew in my heart that if God didn't want us to break up, then He wanted us to get married some day.  I didn't know that much about the Lord, but I was positive that He wasn't into people just dating for the fun of it.  No, if He wanted us to stay together, He wanted us to get married someday.

Yes, April 13, 1992 was a big day for me, to put it mildly.  And, things were about to change pretty drastically in my life from that point.  It's like I had hopped on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime, and I am never getting off!  But, more about that in my next post.  Love to you all!