Sitting On It

So, I just sat on this new information for a while.  Do you know what I mean by that?  I've walked with the Lord for a little while now, and I've learned a few things, though I know there's tons more to learn about our great God!  But, one thing I've noticed about walking with God is that when something is from the Lord, the desire gets stronger and stronger as time goes on, and is especially strong when you're in the presence of God, such as in a worship service at church.  So, I just sat on this new information, meaning I did not mention it to anyone, not even my husband, Jeremy.

You may wonder why I didn't mention it to Jeremy, but we've been married a few years now, and I know him pretty well.  And, I had the feeling he might not be that excited about this new idea at first, so before I mentioned it to him, I decided I better make sure I had heard from God and it wasn't just some crazy idea that I had on my own.  And also, it was just a dream idea anyway.  Remember, it was something I would do if money and time were no object, but at the moment, money and time were an object, especially the time part.  My days were pretty busy, and going back to school to finish my teaching degree was certainly not something I could see in the natural working into my schedule.

So as the weeks went by, I would think about what I had written in my green spiral notebook, but really not a lot.  It sounded exciting and fun, but I was taking care of five cutie-pies each day and my family in the evenings, so going back to school was a fleeting thought.

Now, about this same time our family had started a "Walk Across Missouri on our Treadmill Challenge."  Yep, we were all walking on the treadmill a certain amount of miles each week, and seeing how long it would take our family as a whole to walk across the state of Missouri.  We were each supposed to walk at least seven miles each week (Well, not Denise and Derek, but the rest of us), and I know that sounds fairly easy when you say it, but when you're actually doing it, it's not as easy as it sounds.  So, I was faithfully walking on the treadmill several times each week, and usually while doing this I would talk to the Lord and the Lord would speak to me.  I could probably hear from Him so well at that time because I wasn't focused on anything else!  I"m sure you can relate!

So, one day I was walking and this thought came to me so quickly that it will take longer for me to write it out than it actually took for me to think it, if you know what I mean.  Sometimes when the Lord speaks things to your heart, you just know what He is saying, but then to explain it to someone else it takes a while.  But, it was just a quick knowing that I could go back to school and finish my degree.

"How could I do that?" I thought.

"When Derek starts Kindergarten in two years, you could go back to school full-time while he is at school and finish your degree."

Oh, well, there you go!  Have you ever noticed how simple something sounds once the Lord shows you something?  I mean, I couldn't do the home daycare if I did that, and I couldn't work during the day if I did that, and it does cost money to go to school, but it would give me a big block of time that I could take classes.  Hmmm, that was a definite possibility, wasn't it?  I got kind of excited as I was walking on the treadmill, and I just kept thinking about that the whole time I walked!  Maybe I really could go back to school full-time...maybe this really was something the Lord wanted me to do...Lord, do You want me to pursue this?  That truly was the most important question.

A side note here (I am always full of side notes, just to let you know!):  Jeremy and I have always lived by pretty much one motto.  "Find out what God wants you to do, and do that.  Anything else is foolish."  It's really the truth.  How can you go wrong if you follow God, and do what He wants you to do, even when it's hard?  You really can't, because He knows everything about everything, and if He wants you to do something, no matter what it looks like in the natural, it's always the thing to do.  Truthfully, I could talk about this all day, and not exhaust the subject.  God knows EVERYTHING, and He loves you, so if He tells you to do something, it WILL work out.  And, there you have it! :)

So, over the next couple of months, this desire just kept growing and growing inside of me, but I still hadn't mentioned it to anyone.  Then one day I was walking on the treadmill again, probably wondering if this Walk Across Missouri thing really was a good idea, and it hit me, "God does want me to finish school and become a teacher."  Boom!  And, tears just started streaming down my face, and I just started thanking the Lord.  I said, "Lord, thank you so much that you have given me all these years at home with my kids!  I've gotten to be a stay-at-home mommy just like I wanted, basically for all of Diane's life. If I go back to school in two years, I'll have been (minus a couple of years) a stay-at-home mom for 17 years, and yet, I'll still have maybe 20 or 25 years that I could teach and impact other children, besides my own.  Thank you so much, Lord!  Thank you that I've had this time at home, and now You're going to give me the opportunity to be a blessing in so many other kids' lives.  You are so good to me!  You make the impossible things possible!"

And, you know, that is the truth!  Living for God is never boring.  He always has a new adventure for you right around the corner, you just have to keep walking with Him, and trusting Him, and He'll show you just what He has for you, personally!  And, I was becoming more and more convinced that going back to college was what God had in my future, though if I thought about it too much it got a little overwhelming, so I didn't let myself think about the logistics of it much.  Yes, the time had come to mention the idea to my sweet, wonderful husband, and see what he thought about the whole thing.  But, more about that in my next post...